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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be a size 22 and happy with my body

236 replies

Lucyellensmum95 · 27/04/2013 21:58

I am a size 22 up top - blessed in the nork department and a size 18 on the bottom.

Sometimes i get irritated because i can't find clothes in my size that i like but when i look at my body in the mirror - i like it.

As i say, my top heaviness is due to an ample bosum, which is, for my age pretty firm still.

I have been slimmer, in fact i was a size 10 when i met DP - but that was 20 years ago. Then after i had DD 7 years ago, due to illness i was a size 12 again - miserable, i hated it, my breasts shrunk and i didn't feel like me.

I do have self esteem issues but not surrounding my body.

When i tell people i am happy being the size i am they make Hmm faces at me - i find this insulting.

I am pretty fit, i walk for miles and cycle distances that make the Hmm face pullers making Shock faces and declaring that they can't do that. I am extremely flexible and can touch the floor next to my toes wth the flats of my hands without bending my knees

I would be happy to be a size 18 on top and a size 16/14 down below but no slimmer, thanks. I would probably prefer that size but for no reasons other than health reasons - i eat a healthy diet but probably drink a little too much Wine I also have flabby thighs which need sorting out, but othe than that, when i look in the mirror, i like what i see.

I'm 5'2"

I am a very sexual person and i FEEL sexy and my DP certainly thinks i'm sexy.

As i say, i have self esteem issues but they are no way associated with my body imagine. I don't like my face so much.

AIBU to be irritated when people clearly don't believe that someone of my size is happy with their body.

OP posts:
blackcats73 · 27/04/2013 22:01

Good luck to you! The only reservation for me would be the health risks of being overweight.

interalia · 27/04/2013 22:06

No YANBU. I think it's very rude of people to pull faces at you when you say you're happy.

Original poster
Lucyellensmum95 · 27/04/2013 22:07

That is a fair point blackcats - i recognise this and eat a healthy diet, in fact i don't eat that much at all i have a bastard mirena coil which is what seemed to prompt the weight gain so for that reason i do think i could lose a bit yes, but only for the health reasons and not body image.

OP posts:
StickyFloor · 27/04/2013 22:08

Well good for you, but your point is undermined by mentioning that you would actually like to be slimmer and fix your thighs.

Also, I think you are on to a losing battle here:

Thin people are unlikely to ever really believe you, as they won't comprehend the idea of being fat and ok with that.
Former fatties who are now thin certainly won't believe you.
Current fatties who want to lose weight (like me) won't believe you either.

gordyslovesheep · 27/04/2013 22:08

Oh NO you are absolutely NOT BU - you are allowed to be happy despite not conforming to the 'desired' size 0 - now just tell me how you reach this happy place because I am fed up with not liking my perfectly nice middle aged body!

Bridgetbidet · 27/04/2013 22:08

Nothing wrong with being happy and feeling good about yourself.

Some people are just that build, it's in the genes.

The one thing though, have you seen that show 'Secret Eaters' do you think you might be eating more than you actually realize? Because I would worry about the health aspects if that was the case. Particularly as you have a little girl so obviously you're not going to want to take risks with heart disease/diabetes etc with her being so young.

candyandyoga · 27/04/2013 22:11

Sorry I don't believe you. I'm not saying you should be skinny but size 22 is not healthy at all - and I talk from personal experience.

interalia · 27/04/2013 22:11

Being in the 'overweight' range is not actually shown to increase the likelihood of health problems. It's only when you get into the obese category that it becomes statistically significant (but not a foregone conclusion that you will have health problems). The one thing I would say is that even if all your organs etc are healthy, extra weight can put pressure on your joints. But you say you exercise etc so hopefully that will be offset.

awkwardsis · 27/04/2013 22:16

yanbu. But I'm with stickyfloor- I'm a former fatty and I can't bear the thought of ever being that size again (at a size 18, 5 foot 7 I was 4 if not 5 stone overweight). Life as a size 10 is just much nicer for me. No thighs rubbing in summer is a bloody revelation, I can finally wear skirts. But I never claimed to be happy at the size I was so good luck to you.

squeakytoy · 27/04/2013 22:16

If you are that size and only 5ft 2, then you are obese, which is not healthy.

You will be putting a lot of extra strain on your internal organs.

LaurieFairyCake · 27/04/2013 22:22

Weeeeeelll ..... I'm not sure being fitter than the average person (if you are is really good enough) - like you I can walk for miles and I gardened for 10 hours straight the other day.

But a proper look at what I just said doesn't mean 'real' fitness - I can walk 20 miles as long as its straight, shove in a hill and I'm fucked Grin

I'm the same-ish size as you Lem and while I wholeheartedly agree with being happy with how I look and my sex appeal I would still like to carry a bit less actual weight - I can feel the strain on my back and hips now I've got over 40.

Research proves people are healthier slightly over weight rather than underweight but I'd probably still be healthier a couple of stone less.

saintmerryweather · 27/04/2013 22:23

You dont sound convinced that you are happy with your body. Its not healthy to be obese

Sallystyle · 27/04/2013 22:23

YANBU but I would worry about the health implications. At 5 foot 2 a size 22 is very big and even if you are healthy now it will catch up with you at some point.

Although your OP doesn't make much sense.. you are happy being a size 22 but would like to go down to an 18 on top? if you were genuinely happy then why would you want to lose weight? I am confused.

I have a very heavy friend and she has no desire to lose any weight, she seems very genuinely happy with her body and I admire that greatly but the health issues are very real and worrying.

seriouscakeeater · 27/04/2013 22:24

Its very unhealthy for your height.

likeitorlumpit · 27/04/2013 22:28

i dont believe people when they say they are happy being overweight. same as i dont believe a smoker when they say they like smoking, i think they are weak willed and cant be bothered to put in the effort to quit their addictions so its easier to say they like it.

Sallystyle · 27/04/2013 22:31

I also don't think someone who is genuinely happy with their body would bother starting a thread about it.

And if I am honest, I find it so very hard to understand how someone can be obese and be happy with their body. I am your height and at my heaviest I weighed 13 stone and in a size 16, it was bloody uncomfortable carrying that around on my small frame.

I lost it all now though and back to a size 8-10.

Sallystyle · 27/04/2013 22:31

wouldn't

Sallystyle · 27/04/2013 22:32

would was right the first time

/ dippy moment

Blush
LeaveTheBastid · 27/04/2013 22:33

As a former fatty (once near 17 stone, now 10) I absolutely don't believe that you are completely happy being overweight. Forgetting about body image for a second, if you cold cut open your body and see what you're doing to it... I absolutely can not understand how you cold ever be okay with that. I'd rather my tits shrink than my organs be suffocated by fat.

I think all to often "I'm happy as I am" translates to "I can't be arsed doing anything about it so I'll just act like I'm okay as I am".

I you really are happy then there's no need to justify your 'fitness' and healthy diet to us or friends, and try to convince others how happy you are, just get on with it.

LeaveTheBastid · 27/04/2013 22:34

*could

Fecking ipad!

dogsandcats · 27/04/2013 22:35

I believe that you are happy with your body size. hth

squeakytoy · 27/04/2013 22:35

I wasnt unhappy when I was heavier (I am 5ft 2" as well), very top heavy, and I was wearing size 18 trousers... I could swim 50 lengths, walk for miles, and was healthy, other than getting panic attacks for no reason quite regularly.

but..

after stepping up the exercise by going to the gym, cutting out beer and cutting down on carbs, I am now a size 12/14, still with big boobs, and much much happier.. as well as a lot fitter too. And the panic attacks rarely happen.

BastardDog · 27/04/2013 22:39

No yanbu. I have been battling with my weight for 30 years which is all of my adult life. i have been every size from an 8 to a 22. I have lost 3-4 stone on several occasions, only to put in back on again in the blink of an eye. I have PCOS which is one factor and I believe genetic factors are a large part of it too.

I am currently a size 18 top and a 16 bottom. I have decided enough is enough. I am going to stop beating myself up about my weight, stop making myself miserable over it and accept me as I am.

My husband and my family love me whatever size and shape I am.

The only aspect that concerns me is my health and I am still trying to find a way to accept that with the excess weight comes potential health implications. It's hard for me to rationalise that, but decades of yo yo crash dieting is not a cycle I should be perpetuating either.

Maxium12 · 27/04/2013 22:42

'I eat a healthy diet'. Unless you have an underlying medical problem you would not be that size unless you are eating the calories to maintain it.

I speak from experience, I'm a hefty lass and I loose weight when I eat less.

Maxium12 · 27/04/2013 22:44

Arse, lose weight.