To be a size 22 and happy with my body

[Lucyellensmum95]

I am a size 22 up top - blessed in the nork department and a size 18 on the bottom.

Sometimes i get irritated because i can't find clothes in my size that i like but when i look at my body in the mirror - i like it.

As i say, my top heaviness is due to an ample bosum, which is, for my age pretty firm still.

I have been slimmer, in fact i was a size 10 when i met DP - but that was 20 years ago. Then after i had DD 7 years ago, due to illness i was a size 12 again - miserable, i hated it, my breasts shrunk and i didn't feel like me.

I do have self esteem issues but not surrounding my body.

When i tell people i am happy being the size i am they make faces at me - i find this insulting.

I am pretty fit, i walk for miles and cycle distances that make the face pullers making faces and declaring that they can't do that. I am extremely flexible and can touch the floor next to my toes wth the flats of my hands without bending my knees

I would be happy to be a size 18 on top and a size 16/14 down below but no slimmer, thanks. I would probably prefer that size but for no reasons other than health reasons - i eat a healthy diet but probably drink a little too much I also have flabby thighs which need sorting out, but othe than that, when i look in the mirror, i like what i see.

I'm 5'2"

I am a very sexual person and i FEEL sexy and my DP certainly thinks i'm sexy.

As i say, i have self esteem issues but they are no way associated with my body imagine. I don't like my face so much.

AIBU to be irritated when people clearly don't believe that someone of my size is happy with their body.

[Unami]

Oh, now it's my turn to be sorry again, likeit

I am sure that you are speaking truthfully from your own experience. And I do appreciate that lots of smokers, or overweight people, genuinely dislike their habits and bodies. It's just that some others don't.

[DinosaursLoveUnderpants]

Actually I think it is interesting how many people have posted that have said they used to be overweight.

Like quite a few others, I don't honestly believe an overweight person when they say they are totally happy and healthy because I have been there myself and I work hard to no longer be.

[dogsandcats]

The op has not come back to this thread.
op, if you are finding this thread hard to take, it may be best to hide it [which you may already be doing].

[dollywashers]

I'm a bit jealous really. Whatever I eat I still seem to struggle with my weight/the way I look. I think accepting yourself as you are in the way to happiness. Well done you.

[givemeaclue]

He you eat a healthy diet and take lots of exercise something is wrong that you are so big, I would see gp may be underlying medical issue

[LtEveDallas]

What about "I am overweight but just DON'T CARE"?

After my accident it got harder and harder for me to retain my healthy weight. I'd gone from training (running and gym) at least 2 hours a day, every day, to nothing. My appetite remained the same, I eat generally healthy foods (not all the time, no) but a lot of them . I think I fucked up my metabolism in my teens, but that is probably an excuse.

The first few years following my accident were depressing. I steadily put on weight, so I ate less and less to try and maintain. I was miserable. I'd watch my friends eat and drink what they wanted because they could exercise it off but I was stuck saying "oh no, I'm happy not drinking" or "no more thankyou I'm full" and "Oh no, I couldn't possible fit a desert in". We'd go out and instead of the lovely steak and chips or creamy chicken tikka massala I'd have the steamed fish or dry as a bone tandoori chicken. Bleaugh.

Fuck I was sad. It didn't help that DH would only eat one (large) meal a day because he didn't have time to fit in 3 (and had a six pack to die for)

Anyway. Eventually I had an epiphany. Eating made me happy, not eating made me miserable. I still don't eat as much as I want, but more than I did, and I just DON'T CARE what size I am. In fact I have no idea how much I weigh, or what my BMI is. I'm a size 14/16 but I know that in some shops I need a size 18 as I have large boobs and arms. So yes, I'm a porker.

I don't care any more. Looking good doesn't bother me, I don't care what people think about me. I dress smartly when I need to and think I look OK, but I'm probably a right minger in my uniform or my scruffs.

But honestly. I don't care. So I can be happy. I am surrounded by women who are constantly on diets. All the "oh no I mustn't" if someone (me) brings a cake in, "Go on then, just a small slice...no, smaller". You know what I do? I cut myself a HUGE slice and savour every bite

We've just had a new girl join our team. She is probably a size 6, she's tiny. She's a fitness instructor part time. I see her eat a bowl of porridge in the morning and a slim a soup for lunch. She often talks about being 'too tired' or 'too busy' to eat in the evening (she runs a class every night) and exclaims her horror at my lunch of Chinese takeaway leftovers and I all I think is "fuck me you're boring" whilst I enjoy my sweet and sour

I'm fat and I'm happy, so sue me

[pippitysqueakity]

Nothing to say on overweight issue but I do find it odd that people feel it is ok to deny others to the right to their own feelings.
Just because you cannot contemplate ever feeling the way someone else states they feel, does not make it untrue, and to say you do not believe their feelings is demeaning. (and it has a certain arrogance about it.)

[Sh1ney]

I couldn't care less what size or weight other women choose to be- or are indeed happy with. I'm 9 stone 5 and size 8/10. This is the weight that suits me. I do all I can to maintain a healthy weight because I want to improve my chances of living a long life. I'm aware that this gives no guarantees but it certainly helps! Oh and I love clothes to the point of addiction and feel better wearing a smaller size.

Do I think you can be happy in general and size 22? Of course. Do I think you can feel happy with your body at size 22? No, I don't believe that I'm afraid. Size 22 at 5 ft 2 is very overweight and asking for problems, health wise. You'd be better off pouring some energy into a weight loss plan - there's loads of support on here in the weight loss topic and loads of threads you could join.

[aurynne]

Lucyellensmum95, many people, especially women for some reason, have huge problems in accepting that others may not feel the same way they feel. I have lost count on the number of times I have told someone I don't have children, never wanted them and I am really happy and these people (mostly women) have given me "the face", or even worse, told me openly that I would change my mind and life without kids was not worth living. Some people get a rush telling others that they are not really as happy as they say they are, and usually it's people who have no idea at all about who you are or about your lifestyle. And in my personal experience, it's people who are not very happy themselves the ones who go out of their way to "prove" to yourself that you must not be very happy either.

So I definitely believe you when you say you're happy with your weight and the way you look. I am a size 8-10 and I am happy with my weight and the way I look... and know what? I NEVER exercise and eat heaps of chocolate. And don't have children. And I don't give a flying fuck whether or not I get to be very old, because I'd much rather enjoy these years when I am still young(ish) and able to enjoy life and do all things I like doing. You may not get to 95 if you're overweight... well, big deal, who wants to be 95, frail and living in a lonely home for old people after a long, healthy and boring life?

Now, of course people like you and I do not expect everyone to believe us, because you know, for some people believing people can be happy with such different lifestyles will feel like an attack on their own lifestyles. Let them give you "the stare" and tut-tut to themselves. And then go home and be happy!

[Branleuse]

you're not overweight. you're a heart attack waiting to happen, whether you're happy with the way you look or not. I think you owe it to your family to try and slim down a bit and take some of the strain off your heart.

I think fat women can look bloody gorgeous but healthy it ain't.

[YoniRanger]

Just so we are all clear there is absolutely not a shred of genuine scientific evidence that size is an indicator of health.

Healthy lifestyles are an indicator of health.

Follow all the 'scientific' references to weight and health conditions and you will find they are unscientific ally small studies with monster variables.

Eating shit and doing no exercise will kill you, some people that behave like this will be fat but many will be thin and resting on their genetics.

[DinoSnores]

That's nonsense, Yoni. There is lots of evidence based on lots of people.

First one I could think of off the top of my head this morning:

jama.jamanetwork.com/article.aspx?articleid=200731

36000 people in 3 cohort studies
Increased death rates for those groups with BMI35.

Yes, 'obese' (as defined by BMI) people can be healthy, but as a group, death rates are higher at a younger age. (By the time you are over 70, being underweight is more dangerous than being normal or overweight interestingly.)

[DontmindifIdo]

well, I believe that some woman genuinely like their bodies a little bigger.

However, at 5'2", you aren't much taller than me, and a size 22 is very big for someone that short, it can't be healthy weight - are you sure you are eating a healthy diet? Because that must be like someone like me walking around carrying a lot of weights every day, you must be burning more calories than a thin person everytime you walk up stairs etc, so in order to maintain a size 22 you must be eating a lot or not doing anywhere as much exercise as you think...

I think you can both like your appearance and be aware it's not healthy - it works both ways too, I have been very underweight in the past when I was ill (I was a size 00 at one point) - looking back at those photos of myself, I look fabulous - but I was ill, as I got healthier, I gained weight and got back to a size 6 (then crept up as I got older so now normally a size 8-10 when not pregnant) - I know how I look at a size 8-10 is not as nice looking to me, but it is much healthier.

Could you look at your overall health, and see if you could be healthier, that might be thinner, but it does'nt mean you have to change your body for a clothes number, however a clothes number is a good indication of you not being a healthy size.

[KirjavaTheCat]

I believe you when you say you're happy with the way you look. I'm 5'4" and a size 16, and I look good in clothes. Clothes fit me well. I'm blessed with 'good' proportions.

However, I am trying to lose weight (or I was until I got pregnant! just trying to keep the weight from creeping up really), because even though I like how I look, I know it isn't healthy. I'm on the borderline for obesity.

I think it's worth losing any confidence you might have about being large to gain your health back. You'll still be confident when you're at a healthier weight.

[YoniRanger]

Sorry should have been clearer, until you get into the morbidly obese category.

I would be very surprised if the OP's BMI was anywhere near 35.

[fanjoforthemammaries7850]

I hope the OP's great self esteem is not affected by those queuing up to bring her down.

[chrome100]

I think it's great if you (genuinely) like how you look. I am slim but have body image issues, funding fault everywhere and not at all happy with how I look. Whilst suze 22 might not be the healthiest, it's not the end of the world and a happy life is better than anything.

[plinkyplonks]

YoniRanger BMI chart here:

news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/5297790.stm

[Sh1ney]

I don't think anyone is bringing her down?

Shes posted in AIBU and as a long standing poster she knows full well that the responses to her will be robust.

She put it out there for opinions . People have given them

[StuffezLaYoni]

I am a size 22 and have been for five years or so.
I'm currently changing this because I want my old body back. In the time I've been big I've never had trouble finding sexual partners and that kind of thing, but I don't feel I can show off my body and be 100% comfortable with anyone.

What I can't cope with is well-meaning but hurtful relatives making comments (or in my grandmas case posting me weightwatchers articles and pictures of actresses who looked like me with an annotation about how I could look like her if I werent fat.)

I do believe that you're happy with how you are, and it's crashingly rude of people to say "yeah but you're not REALLY". As an intelligent adult you know the impact of your weight on your health, as do I. But it's nobody's business but yours.

[amessagetoyouYoni]

I applaud you, OP.

Life is tough. I think its somethng to be celebrated when a woman is happy and comfortable in her own skin and feels sexual and desirable. Bloody hell, people can be miserable sometimes!

[Ashoething]

I am 5'6 wear size 16 clothes and although I never weigh myself I think I must be about 13 stone-ish. I don't give a flying fuck! I love clothes-particularly 50's style and I dress very well. Yes I probably eat too much-portion sizes are an issue to me-but I exercise a couple of times a week and I walk a lot.

I am trying to cut down on the amount of vino I drink as I believe too much alcohol is aging but seriously I really do like the way I look!

[MrsMelons]

I don't really think anyone who is happy with their weight would start a thread about it or mention they are in fact unhappy with certain parts of themselves.

As someone who is bulimic I of course find it hard to believe you are happy at that size but I also envy anyone who is happy with how they look.

It is not healthy at all to be that size and they are many health problems that are linked to obesity (as well as people who are too underweight of course).

To the poster who mentioned smoking and being overweight - it is silly to try and justify being overweight and smoking by saying you can run 5k in 30 minutes, thats not actually being THAT fit, its not very far and most people could do that with a small amount of training, lots of overweight people are good runners but it doesn't eliminate the risks (although obviously its good you exercise etc and I am not belittling that) but you can't deny the health problems that are potentially caused by smoking and obesity.

[Mamafratelli]

Size 22 and 5ft2 is very big. I'm 5ft1 and the biggest I have ever been is a large 14 after dd. I looked horrendous. More importantly I felt unhealthy. I couldn't run, struggled with high impact exercise and was tired.

I believe you are happy with how you look but all of your organs will be surrounded by fat and your heart will be working overtime to carry the extra weight. If you are happy with that keep going. If not try slimming world or weight watchers. The weight will fall off you.

[Ashoething]

Yep the weight will fall off-then you will pile it all back on again and will be a diet bore to everyone around you. If weight watchers or any of these other things worked then women wouldn't constantly have to go back to them! Its all a huge con designed to get your money!