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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think this couple were silly be abroad for the birth of their son

107 replies

Coolingwood · 27/04/2013 12:35

A couple I know - acquaintances, more than friends - planned to be on holiday in a distant country for the birth of their son. Their son has been born and requires medical attention and they have no insurance - and have started a fundraiser online - Am I being unreasonable to think that was a really, really silly decision?

OP posts:
Original poster
Coolingwood · 27/04/2013 13:00

Without going into too much detail - they were planning on having the baby in a natural way at the retreat - and I assume, they just thought there wouldn't be any complications.

OP posts:
Bearbehind · 27/04/2013 13:01

I'm with you OP, why are people so tolerate of others who put themselves in entirely avoidable situations and then expect to be bailed out.

Fair enough if the baby had been premature but to plan on giving birth abroad and to not take out insurance is just fucking stupid and incredibly selfish.

5madthings · 27/04/2013 13:01

Well if you shared the link it may actually help them.

Fgs yes they should have sorted insurance etc but surely the priority now is making sure the baby gets the help it needs not judging them and inviting others to join in that judging on a parenting forum.

DeepRedBetty · 27/04/2013 13:01

What utter pillocks.

DolomitesDonkey · 27/04/2013 13:02

For everyone saying "you're not allowed to fly". How exactly does the airline know? They don't make you poas at passport control you know. Wink My neighbours didn't know I was pregnant ...

Why oh why oh why and on which lentil-weaving planet did they knock together this woo-inspired yoga baby idea?

HoHoHoNoYouDont · 27/04/2013 13:02

Yes, it's a sad sad situation the couple find themselves in but I don't think the OP is a terrible friend for asking the question.

Mamafratelli · 27/04/2013 13:02

But how would they have got the baby home with no passport? If its true they sound naive. Still the focus should be on the baby

kungfupannda · 27/04/2013 13:02

I'm assuming the baby will already have had whatever treatment is needed, given that it would presumably have been an emergency.

So are they now stuck in the country until they pay? Or does the baby need further, planned surgery?

TheDoctrineOfSnatch · 27/04/2013 13:03

Ok, so how were they going to get a passport for their baby?

Original poster
Coolingwood · 27/04/2013 13:03

The priority is definitely for them to get the help and support they need from friends and family (as I say, I'm an acquaintance), and I'm just using AIBU for a bit a rant - it doesn't preclude me from supporting, and I have donated.

OP posts:
SoupDragon · 27/04/2013 13:04

But how would they have got the baby home with no passport?

Probably by applying for one!

Mamafratelli · 27/04/2013 13:04

Dolomites if they suspect you are heavily pregnant they require a lett from the doctor. My friend was asked for the letter on a flight with me. She showed them a picture of her 6 month old twins and cried.

Mamafratelli · 27/04/2013 13:05

Soup ds was born abroad. It took weeks to get a British passport, it's not as easy as it sounds.

SoupDragon · 27/04/2013 13:06

Nearest British Embassy would sort a passport out, even if it were just an emergency one.

But yes, they were a bit daft to think this was a good idea with no insurance - I hope it all works out for them and that the baby is OK.

Original poster
Coolingwood · 27/04/2013 13:06

I knew they flew to where they were two months ago - honestly, this isn't a lie - I thought they were bonkers to do it - so the airline must have accepted them

OP posts:
SoupDragon · 27/04/2013 13:06

"weeks" to get a passport isn't much of a problem though. It's not impossible, that's the point I was making.

DolomitesDonkey · 27/04/2013 13:07

mama yes, I expect some might be reticent to ask in case they get a case like your poor friend. Much the same as "should I/shouldn't I offer that rounded girl a seat?"!

Mamafratelli · 27/04/2013 13:07

Nearest British embassy won't always have the facilities to provide passports. Ours didnt. We had the send it to a country a three hour flight away and then wait for it for almost a month.

SoupDragon · 27/04/2013 13:09

But you did get a passport for your baby. I dont get why you were asking how they were going to get the baby home with no passport Confused

thistlelicker · 27/04/2013 13:09

For suck sake ppl do not use the brains they are born with!!!!! Pregnant and flying to a country that I am presuming you pay for all treatments with no insurance!!!! Fecking ridiculous!!! They jeopardised and compromised that baby the minute thy didnt take out insurance! Yes it's fine to fly up to certain gestation but babies can be born prematurely and that for me would have helped me to make mind up re location of holiday for starters!!!! Now baby is unwell and yes I'm sorry that's the case but ther stupidity means now they need to fund raise to help get are for their baby! No I dot think u being unreasonable! I think ure friends are stupid and selfish

DolomitesDonkey · 27/04/2013 13:09

A passport is not the same as an emergency travel doc - which any consulate would issue.

I've had 2 children born abroad.

LaFataTurchina · 27/04/2013 13:10

Depends on the country/circumstances really ... I'd still go on holiday to Western Europe if I was only about 7/8 months pregnant. I wouldn't risk going anywhere further afield/less developed.

Judging by the horror stories I sometimes hear on here I sometimes think I'd go home to Italy to give birth.

Mamafratelli · 27/04/2013 13:10

Another friend had to spend 8 hours in immigration in Britain because her dd had been born in another country and the officials didnt like her paperwork. It took months to get it all sorted and there were threats of having her dd taken into care until it was sorted. This was with a British passport granted abroad. Hardly a risk worth taking.

VisualiseAHorse · 27/04/2013 13:10

"weeks" to get a passport isn't much of a problem though. It's not impossible, that's the point I was making.

Could it be a problem if you don't live in that country or need more money etc?

So she was 7 months when she flew out? Maybe she didn't look that pregnant, so the airline didn't ask?

VisualiseAHorse · 27/04/2013 13:11

It really is very selfish of them. There are plenty of lentil-weaving yoga holidays to go on in the UK.