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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think this couple were silly be abroad for the birth of their son

107 replies

Coolingwood · 27/04/2013 12:35

A couple I know - acquaintances, more than friends - planned to be on holiday in a distant country for the birth of their son. Their son has been born and requires medical attention and they have no insurance - and have started a fundraiser online - Am I being unreasonable to think that was a really, really silly decision?

OP posts:
TheBigJessie · 27/04/2013 12:37

No, you're not.

But judging them for being utter, utter, utter eejits unwise decisions won't help now. Is there a link? I'll give them something.

GhoulWithADragonTattoo · 27/04/2013 12:39

It depends on the circumstances and you haven't given enough detail.

HoHoHoNoYouDont · 27/04/2013 12:39

Bloody hell, let's hope they put more thought into future decisions.

I hope things work for them though and the baby is ok.

Shellywelly1973 · 27/04/2013 12:39

YANBU ur a great friend...

5madthings · 27/04/2013 12:39

Not taking out insurance was draft but judging won't help.

I hope their son is OK, that's the important thing.

Original poster
Coolingwood · 27/04/2013 12:42

I know judging isn't going to help, and I truly hope the baby gets the treatment it needs

OP posts:
CloudsAndTrees · 27/04/2013 12:45

Did they have a reason for having the baby abroad?

daveydavidson · 27/04/2013 12:46

I assume they went there because family or someone is there?Why else would you pick another country to give birth in?

Also how did she manage to fly pregnant? I though there is limits,dependent on airline about when you can fly.

HotCrossPun · 27/04/2013 12:47

Need a bit more info OP.

Why did they plan to be abroad for the birth? What country was it?

Wibblypiglikesbananas · 27/04/2013 12:49

Sounds a bit odd to me. If they're so far away, they'd have had to fly and that wouldn't have been possible unless she was pre (at most) 36 weeks. Most airlines stipulate 32 weeks or 28 for twins. So - this is a bloody long holiday if this is correct!

Original poster
Coolingwood · 27/04/2013 12:50

They were on a yoga retreat in the Caribbean if that helps

OP posts:
SwishSwoshSwoosh · 27/04/2013 12:52

I feel you're missing the point a bit.

Am I being unreasonable to be so worried for my friend's baby seems more appropriate.

TheDoctrineOfSnatch · 27/04/2013 12:52

A lot of insurance policies exclude pregnancy related conditions and cover for any new baby.. I guess they didn't realise this.

MNBlackpoolandFylde · 27/04/2013 12:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

VisualiseAHorse · 27/04/2013 12:54

I thought you could only fly during your third trimester with a doctor's note...??

But YANBU. Wasn't there a couple recently in the news who had their baby somewhere in Europe and didn't have insurance so had to do a fundraiser because the baby was prem and needed treatment?

ananikifo · 27/04/2013 12:54

Was the baby born early? That's the only way this makes any sense.

Original poster
Coolingwood · 27/04/2013 12:54

Of course the main point is that I'm concerned for the baby - and of the course that is the important thing - I'm just annoyed they could be so bloody silly and endanger their baby's health in such a reckless way

OP posts:
Original poster
Coolingwood · 27/04/2013 12:55

The baby wasn't born early at all - it was bang on time - it was just a very long retreat!

OP posts:
Original poster
Coolingwood · 27/04/2013 12:57

I'm not sure I feel comfortable sharing the fundraising link in MN - apologies

OP posts:
Mamafratelli · 27/04/2013 12:58

Lots of people go on holiday pregnant. Of course they should have had insurance. In fact they might have done (some dont cover pregnancy). It sounds to me like baby came early.

I feel incredibly sorry for them. I lived abroad when ds was born. There were complications (for me) and it was very scary and lonely.

You sound like a terrible friend. They made a mistake not getting the correct insurance but they need support not judgement.

kungfupannda · 27/04/2013 12:58

How were they planning on paying for the costs of the baby's birth - even without any unforseen complications? Have things just escalated beyond what they expected to be able to cover?

ananikifo · 27/04/2013 12:59

Do they have any connections to the country where they had the baby? I'm sorry this is obviously sad but I can't wrap my head around wanting to give birth in another country where you're just on holiday.

kim147 · 27/04/2013 12:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Mamafratelli · 27/04/2013 12:59

Actually reading your last post I don't believe you. The mother wouldn't have been able to travel home at full term.

SoulTrain · 27/04/2013 13:00

Hmmm Hmm