AIBU to go to the pub 30 metres away with a video monitor.

[HoveDad]

I live in a terrace of houses and ten doors down is a really nice pub that does great food. Would it be horribly irresponsible to leave the kids (8,4 and 2) home alone with a video (+audio) monitor watching the doors to the bedrooms, toilet and hallway? One of us could be home within one minute of seeing / hearing a child but in the mean time we could be sat having a couple of pints and a tasty meal with friends with a laptop/ipad on the table showing what's going on in the house.
I suspect this isn't ok and haven't suggested it to my wife yet but wanted to canvas opinions. You could get the kit to do this for ~ £100 which is what 4 baby sits would cost.

OP, just to say, I don't think you sound like a rubbish parent and I doubt anyone else here holds that view. Just, it isn't a great idea.

But you probably realise that now.

Don't worry.

Summerblaze - I make their packed lunches.

Every toddler that I have come across has loved water play and if allowed to would run the taps all day, I'm "Up North" though, do you have a different breed of toddler Down South? Children instinctively know when they aren't being supervised.

In Glasgow ,when you park your car outside either Celtic or Rangers football ground on match day ,a little "scamp" will miraculously appear ,just like that, and say "pound to watch yer car ,mister" , my dad ,having had me dumped on him on one such day,had to take me (if a child you were lifted over turnstyle so no charge) i asked my father why he bothered paying ? he told me one of his friends said to little ruffian "no ,its fine, look ive left my dog in the car">child replied "can it phone the fire brigade then ,mister"?can your comp. system? ,and does it have a sense of smell too?if u see what i mean?

This is just ridiculous hysteria. I take it no one ever leaves their kids playing in the garden etc, through fear of them being abducted? Never let them play upstairs when you're downstairs incase a fire breaks out in the hall and you cannot get upstairs?. Seriously?

That said, it's not the best idea to leave them. Technology fails, what if the screen freezes and you dont notice or the sound dies or something. Better to get a babysitter.

That was my point donkey

That I wouldn't do it at the age because they would be likely to wake up scared. And that they need an older person in the house.

athinginyourlife -

BTW, it's quite shocking that some people haven't considered that if something happened to the parents then the kids would be alone & no one may be notified for a while, leaving them alone & unsupervised for however long.

Small chance, I know. OP, could you honestly be ok with that outcome if something were to happen? I don't actually understand how any parent could, sorry.

The reason why there are so few ( though I haven't checked the figures, just taking Tee's word for it ) examples of small children coming to harm when left home alone is that very few parents are stupid enough to leave toddlers and small children alone to go to the pub.

We don't always hear of the cases where a fire broke out but the adult ay home managed to get the children out safely, or the burglaries where an adult called the police .

I make their packed lunches now I'm sure this is a wind up.

Funny.

Well I'm going to say, Yes go for it.

You can now go and say to your wife, 'there was a woman on MN who said yes, so it can't be that much of an unreasonable request can it'

Then you can come on here and tell us all about your unreasonable wife and we can have a good old natter etc and woe is me and such like.

FFS OP NO, NO, NO.

I'll tell you what, you tell the kids when they are older what you did and say, when I'm old, infirm and mentally incapable (such as Alzeihmers (sp?)), you just 'pop down the pub' and leave me by myself and when I get distressed and worried, I only have to remember that you will only be 90 seconds away -oh no, you won't you'll panic and get upset because you have the ability, mental and physical function of young child.

Jeez, if you were my DH and you said that to me, I'd just give you my mummy stare

Ah well if thats the case you sound exactly like my Dh, some of my friends DH's and probably some of the DH's of MNers. None of whom would think this was a fabby dooby idea.

If MN "at its worse", is it giving the advice not to leave a 2 year old on its own whilst you go to the pub, then I hope it carries on down this track. Thankfully the Law has been changed from "Parental Rights" to "Parental Responsibilities" to safeguard children whose parents don't have a clue.

So, its not about fire, abduction etc.

It's just that you are the parent and they are children and young children at that, who are easily scared/forgetful etc.

fwiw OP you don't sound like a bad dad but it's not a fantastic idea really. If they were 5 years older I'd consider it as a teenager would be better equipped to deal with any potential emergency that may happen. If your 2 year old woke up for any reason, your 8 year old wouldn't have the first idea what to do and they'd just be scared.

All this 'what if' stuff is a bit hysterical though. We had friends over for dinner a few months ago for my birthday and half way through the evening my 3 year old ds was crying at the top of the stairs having just projectile vomited all over his bed. No apparent reason, he wasn't ill, he was absolutely fine the next day, but I keep thinking about what might have been had he choked in his sleep while I ate downstairs. Even with parents in the house, freak tragic accidents can happen.

It's not fair to put that responsibility on an 8 year old. Get an adult in to watch them. You wouldn't relax anyway, forever staring at a monitor.

Oh for heaven's sake. The main reason you would not do this, or pop down to the shop leaving them alone, or whatever is because as others have said, there is a possibility that something might happen to you and you are not able to get back. No-one knows you are out, no-one knows kids are unattended, kids wake up, no-one there. Perhaps a small possibility. But it is there.

And obviously,again as others have said, a babysitter would, if you did not return, try to find out what had happened (hopefully) and would not leave the children alone.

When DS1 turned one I went back to work and DH stayed at home to look after him. The very first day of my return to work I called at lunchtime to find out how they were, and discovered DH had popped to the shop leaving one year old in his cot. I was furious (after thinking at first he was joking); he like you hadn't considered the risk of something happening to him. But DH is lovely, and would never do anything to put the children at risk deliberately, so I haven't held it against him. You haven't even done this, you are just considering, so I think you are getting a bit of a hard time. A bit.

My four year old could get downstair and turn the cooker on without waking me up or find some beads and choke to death silently. Alot could happen while I was asleep.

Birdsgottafly - my 4yr old has a potty in her room she uses at night, I'm sorry you feel that infringes on her human rights.
andubelievedthat - you realise that kid was threatening to torch your dads car don't you? A baby monitor would pass through the sound of my smoke detector.

Most parents that leave their children unattended, lie about it when an accident occurs, they all deny it, but luckily, there are Child In Need/Protection Plans to deal with the one's whose story doesn't add up, that's why there are less deaths than there could be.

OP if you take your eyes off your children for a second the local pedophile and and his best mate Mr. MadAxe Man will be on your doorstep immediately and all of your electrical appliances will spontaneously combust.

Everyone knows that surely?

These threads might go better if the hysteria was left at the doorstep, no?

FFS. It's not the best idea in the world but, seriously, what a load of hysteria full of pathetic what ifs. For me the hysteria was compounded by the poster who wouldn't leave an 11 year old and 13 year old for a couple of hours. Really? Do you still wipe their bums and cut up their food too.

*BumpingFuglies"

No, I don't think a wasp is going to fly in and abduct your kids. But I do think you're not going to enjoy yourselves because you'll be taking it in turns to stare at the monitor. Every time the 8 or 4yo gets up to go to the loo all conversation will stop and you'll both be staring at the screen going "He's been in there ages." "Could just be a poo." "Shall I go home and check?" "Leave it 30 seconds more and then I'll go." etc etc. At some stage someone will ask you what you're doing with a monitor and when you explain, you'll get a lot of grief. And, as someone else pointed out, sooner or later Sod's Law will take a big tasty bite out of your ass. Almost certainly sooner, because that's sod's law for you.

Birds what a ridiculous thing to say. My DD2 fell down the stairs when she was 4 and broke her arm. I was in the garden with the other children. Why on earth would I lie and say that she was not unattended when she was? She'd gone upstairs on her own (shock horror, call the police) to get something.

OP, a 4 year old with a potty is fine, if they can't wake up in time to make the toilet, completely different if an 8 year old is made to use it, so you can go to the pub. incidents such as these are what keeps me in a job and the JK show going. Appropriate age guidelines are there to protect a child's welfare, you haven't got three children, you have two children and a toddler/baby. Mama has just demonstrated that a child can suddenly need their parent at any time and would be aware that they had been left, once you came through the front door, its not nice to make a child feel as though they are not deserving of care. What you have gone on to say is because a child can have an accident if they wake up in the night it's ok to leave them alone from a young age? Don't discount the value of your presence, even when asleep.

Tee2072 "MN at it's worst"??? Leaving 3 kids including a 2 year old in a house unattended at night and people are objecting to that? Whatever is wrong with people?!

Yes. At it's worst. At it's over the top hysterical worst.

Do you never sleep? Pee? Bathe? Send your children out to the garden?

OMG THEY MIGHT GET HURT!!!!!!!!!! I MIGHT DROWN IN THE SHOWER AND LEAVE THEM FOREVER!! I'D BETTER STOP BATHING RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yes. This: "That said, it's not the best idea to leave them. Technology fails, what if the screen freezes and you don't notice or the sound dies or something. Better to get a babysitter."

That's what would stop me. Not the slight possibility that I might trip over my own feet on the curb and get hit by a fucking car.