Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

AIBU to go to the pub 30 metres away with a video monitor.

344 replies

HoveDad · 25/04/2013 12:04

I live in a terrace of houses and ten doors down is a really nice pub that does great food. Would it be horribly irresponsible to leave the kids (8,4 and 2) home alone with a video (+audio) monitor watching the doors to the bedrooms, toilet and hallway? One of us could be home within one minute of seeing / hearing a child but in the mean time we could be sat having a couple of pints and a tasty meal with friends with a laptop/ipad on the table showing what's going on in the house.
I suspect this isn't ok and haven't suggested it to my wife yet but wanted to canvas opinions. You could get the kit to do this for ~ £100 which is what 4 baby sits would cost.

OP posts:
TSO · 25/04/2013 15:39

HoveDad, please will you let us know what your wife says to your idea when you tell her what you plan/planned to do?

MrTumblesTreasureMap · 25/04/2013 15:39

Tee

If the technology was perfect and would work 100%, would the risk of something happening to the adults in the situation and no one knowing three children are home alone not bother you?

Summerblaze · 25/04/2013 15:40

Nope, wouldn't do it. Too risky.

Also, am I the only one who is wondering how OP does his DC's breakfast, lunch and puts them to bed, but still works full time.

Really not sure if this is a wind up.

sudaname · 25/04/2013 15:42

HoHoHoNoYouDon't Grin

Great name for this thread btw.

Might namechange to *OiYouOPNoJustNoOK

Birdsgottafly · 25/04/2013 15:42

I grew up in the 70's when this was acceptable and I can recall plenty of families who had a child that died as a result of a totally preventable (with supervision) accident, as well as remembering walking the streets with my 8 year old friend who had part of her finger crushed and being ignored by adults, there were lots of accidents, some with permanent injuries. I think water play is the biggest risk, I don't know why that is being discounted by many, it takes minutes for a child to drown, you would have to put buckets in their rooms and lock the bathroom, if you think children under 10 should be subjected to that in the UK in 2013, so you can go the pub, your children have bigger problems than the one's that you are proposing. I'm sure your 8 year old will be delighted to be in charge, in the house on their own. If you do, do this, tell everyone in the pub what you have done, if you are confident it is in any way acceptable.

sudaname · 25/04/2013 15:44

or Toostupidtohighlight Blush

Tee2072 · 25/04/2013 15:45

No, MrTumblesTreasureMap because, again, the likelihood of something happening is minuscule!

Someone find me any news report of parents in a local pub that something happened and they never made it home. Just one. At any point in history.

And stop saying 'remember Madeliene'. We only remember her because it was unique. If it happened all the time it never would even made the news.

DonkeysDontRideBicycles · 25/04/2013 15:53

It doesn't even have to be something like a fire.

A wasp flies in, provoking upset? A child chokes on a bead or something equally daft they've put in their mouth? A child goes to the loo, locks the door, can't open it, panics, and you are where? The phone rings, goes to answer machine, someone keeps phoning, something as simple as that can be anxiety inducing.

MrTumblesTreasureMap · 25/04/2013 15:53

Tee

I didn't just mean in the pub. I meant hit by a car or mugged or anything. I suppose the risk of anything happening and the children being left alone for ages is low though. But having a babysitter would reduce the risk that bit more.

elQuintoConyo · 25/04/2013 15:55

Oh whoopy bloody shit that you take your kids to the park!

YOU.DON'T.LEAVE.YOUR.SMALL.CHILDREN.AT.HOME.TO.GO.TO.THE.PUB.

EVER.

How could you explain to your two year old "oh, yes, you did have two older siblings, but your dm and I decided to go to the pub one night and a fire started. But I am a good df and spend time and money on you, so..."

So you find me a 'bit harsh'. That I can live with.

Tee2072 · 25/04/2013 15:55

The kids would be asleep!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I can't believe this thread and the fucking unbelievable scenarios y'all are coming up with.

I have anxiety disorder and it would never occur to me to worry about a wasp while my child sleeps.

FOR FUCKS SAKE.

OP, I take it back. Do it. Have fun.

MN at it's worst.

TheOrchardKeeper · 25/04/2013 15:56

OP...the thing you seem to be missing is that

a) if a very bad accident were to happen, the amount of time it takes to get back might make all the difference

&

b) Something could indeed happen to you & your wife whilst your kids are being babysat but in that case they're not suddenly in a risky situation, as the sitter is there. VERY different case if they're alone. Also, if something were to happen and the emergency services or such caught wind of your set up it would be reported to SS. Not what you want, right? Would not look good

Basically, it's not worth it & a bad idea.

Not sure you've really considered those points yet. No one's being hysterical. You just can't risk it for something like the pub. (Well, you can but if SS caught wind of it they'd certainly have something to say on the matter).

I'm sure you're not a 'deadbeat' dad, as you were aware this might be a god awful idea or you wouldn't have posted and you've not just gone and done it anyway. The posts that are along those lines are just a (justifiably) bad reaction to a very bad idea.

TheOrchardKeeper · 25/04/2013 15:58

(basically...get a babysitter or just stay in. No unnecessary risks taken).

JustFoofy · 25/04/2013 15:58

Ffs just go then.

It's clearly so desperately important to you this outing to the pub so go on then, just go.

Then if something happens to one of your kids you can make whinyarsed excuses

as to how you weren't at fault and if goes
without a hitch you can come back and
gloat and we'll all give you a great big pat
and tell you what a superior parent you
are. not. What a man Hmm

DonkeysDontRideBicycles · 25/04/2013 15:59

Kids never ever ever wake up until morning when they go to sleep!

HA HA HA HA

TantrumsAndBalloons · 25/04/2013 15:59

All this remember Madeline stuff is getting a bit ridiculous now.
As are the examples of fire, flood, children being left orphaned because their parents died in a freak pub accident, a 2 year old waking up in the middle of the night to run a bath or fry an egg.

I wouldn't do it because if any of the children woke up, it would probably scare them to be in a house alone, especially if they went to bed with mum and dad there and had no clue where they had gone.

I do however leave my children at night. I have a 15,14 and 9 year old. We tell them where we are going, they have mobile phones and neighbours to call on in an emergency. None of them have ever felt the need to cook anything or run a bath if they happen to wake up in the night and we are not there.

Mind you, they wouldn't do it if we were there either.

YouTheCat · 25/04/2013 16:00

That's the thing though, Tee, you just don't know what could happen. I'm pretty certain Maddy's parents never thought in a million years that she'd be abducted from their hotel room but they took a risk and that must be a terrible thing to carry for the rest of their lives.

In all probability, nothing would happen. The kids would be home in bed but why risk it to go to the pub?

When we become parents sometimes we have to sacrifice some of that adult time because of the fact there are children to consider.

AThingInYourLife · 25/04/2013 16:02

I'm surprised people think this is a wind up.

This is exactly the sort of thing my DH would come up with (also a very committed, hands-on father of 3).

And I would go "errrrr, no. Let's use the power of babysitting technology. I don't want to spend a rare night in the pub staring at a video feed of my children."

TantrumsAndBalloons · 25/04/2013 16:02

A wasp???

And fwiw having a babysitter in the house wouldn't stop the parents being mugged. Or run over. Even though according to the OP they don't have to actually cross a round to get there. But, hey ho. Maybe a runaway car might mount the pavement eh?

Tee2072 · 25/04/2013 16:03

Whatever.

Bored now.

HesterShaw · 25/04/2013 16:03

It's not abduction which would prey on my mind. But surely you just don't leave small children to go to the pub.

Birdsgottafly · 25/04/2013 16:03

Tee, not all "happenings" are reported. I agree that it is more likely that one of the children will have an accident than the adults. There is no way that you can reasonably eat and socialise, whilst staring at a screen. This is neglect, the children are too young to be left alone, the 8 year old isn't old enough to be in charge of a house. There is no excuse for leaving young children alone, it would actually be safer if there was only one child, but three are unpredictable.

KansasCityOctopus · 25/04/2013 16:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HesterShaw · 25/04/2013 16:03

Sorry - leave them on their own that is. A babysitter is cheaper than rigging up a live satellite link to your house.

DonkeysDontRideBicycles · 25/04/2013 16:05

The OP's children are 8,4 and 2 apparently, bit different to 15, 14 and 9.