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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

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Original poster

AIBU to go to the pub 30 metres away with a video monitor.

344 replies

HoveDad · 25/04/2013 12:04

I live in a terrace of houses and ten doors down is a really nice pub that does great food. Would it be horribly irresponsible to leave the kids (8,4 and 2) home alone with a video (+audio) monitor watching the doors to the bedrooms, toilet and hallway? One of us could be home within one minute of seeing / hearing a child but in the mean time we could be sat having a couple of pints and a tasty meal with friends with a laptop/ipad on the table showing what's going on in the house.
I suspect this isn't ok and haven't suggested it to my wife yet but wanted to canvas opinions. You could get the kit to do this for ~ £100 which is what 4 baby sits would cost.

OP posts:

Birdsgottafly · 25/04/2013 16:42

"FuckThis", my point was that many parents do lie, I have 3 children, they have had accidents, but you know when a story doesn't add up, with other factors. People don't admit to neighbours how things occurred, that is why most people are not aware what can go wrong. It's then about balancing the decision to go to the pub against being present when an accident happens.

D0oinMeCleanin · 25/04/2013 16:44

Cherries, no-one is objecting to pointing out that it's not a great idea but the "OMG you can't do that. A random areoplane could crash into the pub you are in and kill you all and no-one would know the kids are alone and they'd starve to death forever, but not before some man eating rabbits break into the house and eat them to death in their sleep" type posts that are ridiculous and unnecessary and the very predictable McCann comments. The reason the McCann case recieved so much media attention is because of how very, very rarely things like that happen.

StellaNova · 25/04/2013 16:49

It's about risk perception isn't it? You balance the likelihood of the risk against the consequences if it happens. To me, even if the likelihood of "tripping over my own feet on the fucking curb and getting hit by a car" is small, the consequences of that happening while my children are unattended are so appalling that I would avoid a situation where that happens.

Trapper · 25/04/2013 16:51

There is a risk that the children may go downstairs, try to cook french fries and burn themselves.

Remember McCain?

BerryLellow · 25/04/2013 16:52

Well, that escalated quickly.

Tee2072 · 25/04/2013 16:55

Trapper

D0oinMeCleanin · 25/04/2013 16:55

Yes, but Stella, if everyone went into 'risk perception' as deeply as some posters have on this thread then no-one would leave the house, or plug anything in, or walk up the stairs, or own an oven or take a bath....

It's not a great idea simply because if the 2yo woke up and started looking for his parents and found they weren't there he would be terrified and the 30 seconds it would take to get back to him would feel like an age to him. Plus the parents would be unlikely to relax properly anyway and the tech could fail.

That is all. It is simple. The house really is not going to combust just because the adults have left it and the children are not going to suddenly choke to death in their sleep.

AThingInYourLife · 25/04/2013 16:56

The worst thing about this idea is that it doesn't solve the essential problem with children, which is that you are responsible for them.

StuntGirl · 25/04/2013 16:56

1/10, poor effort OP.

topsi · 25/04/2013 16:58

Joke right?
Think this would be illegal apart from anything else?

fluffyraggies · 25/04/2013 16:59

Apart from it not being worth the risk of something happening to the children, for obvious reasons ...

... it's also not worth the risk of some small or large mishap occurring and then you spending days/week/years feeling shit because it happened because you were out at the pub!

If an accident happens while you are at home with the children, you deal with it as best you can - you try to put it behind you.

If an accident were to happen while you were down the pub having a drink with your kids home alone, against the majority of peoples advice, i'm sure it would eat away you. No? It would me.

Is it just soooo not worth it!

TSO · 25/04/2013 17:00

What troubles me is that HoveDad is continuing to defend the idea, as if he plans to do it regardless.

Unless of course this thread is one big wind up.

Unfortunatelyanxious · 25/04/2013 17:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Popsie3 · 25/04/2013 17:04

Don't believe OP had any intention of doing this, Ever!

Original poster

HoveDad · 25/04/2013 17:06

TSO - At no point have I defended the idea, just myself.

OP posts:

fluffyraggies · 25/04/2013 17:07

But you and the idea are one!

Trapper · 25/04/2013 17:07

HoveDad seems to be defending himself against the vitriol being spouted rather than defending his idea. He acknowledged several pages back that Mumsnet had spoken and it was a bad idea. Quite rightly so IMO.

chandellina · 25/04/2013 17:11

I think it's a valid question and scenario to ponder but I think it's ultimately better to just get a baby sitter. I wouldn't want to keep an eye on the screen all night. I'm also not sure I'd be comfortable answering the question - so where are the kids - whilst in the pub.

Justforlaughs · 25/04/2013 17:11

HoveDad I'd sincerely like to congratulate you on NOT rising to the bait and trading insults on here. I think you've taken a lot of flak on this thread. Having said that I personally couldn't leave my children at that age in the house alone and asleep. Possibly when they were a bit older, say the oldest being 12, providing they were a "sensible" 12 year old. For now, get a babysitter or hold a dinner party at home.

DoYouWannaDance · 25/04/2013 17:14

According to OP's previous posts his youngest is still only around 16 months so basically a baby, not that it matters, leaving a baby or toddler alone at home is stupid. I only hope his DW has more sense.

TSO · 25/04/2013 17:15

Like hell you're not defending the idea, HoveDad! You're asking people if they don't think they're being hysterical, coming up with suggestions of how your children could come to just as much harm while you're at home and asleep, talking of the baby monitor re the sound of a smoke alarm as well as defending yourself against comments on here (some of which may not be justified but plenty of which certainly are!).

Sallystyle · 25/04/2013 17:16

YABU

If my husband even asked me I would slap him with a halibut of reality and wonder who the fuck I married.

Sallystyle · 25/04/2013 17:20

Ahh I see you admitted it was a bad idea now :)

I am glad you have changed your mind. I am sure you are a fantastic father, just didn't think this situation through and at least you ASKED for opinions instead of just doing it.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 25/04/2013 17:28

Tbh, it doesn't sound like the basis for a relaxed evening out, and I probably wouldn't have done it when mine were that age - I am a world-class worrier, and all the what-ifs, even the really impossible ones, would have kept me on edge all evening.

It is a lovely feeling when they are old enough to be left at home safely, though - mine are nearly 16, nearly 18 and nearly 20, and it is sometimes a total joy to swan out of the house with dh to enjoy some time to ourselves, over a cup of coffee and a sticky bun. But the baby/toddler years do pass (even though it doesn't feel as if they will, at the time) and it's not worth taking this particular risk, imo, until they are old enough.

Tee2072 · 25/04/2013 17:32

That is the other thing. Do you want to have a nice evening or do you want to watch a screen all night?

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