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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed with family member about childhood jabs

83 replies

footflapper · 22/04/2013 18:12

I would like a certain family member to make an informed choice about her Dd's jabs. So i'll be showing her this thread. She's absolutely refusing to let her 12 mo have any vaccinations due to the scare from many years ago about the now disproved link to autism. So I'm gonna try and make sure she has all the facts..

OP posts:
Footface · 22/04/2013 18:32

Try this

Freddiemisagreatshag · 22/04/2013 18:35

Sigh.

Why is it your business?

Original poster
footflapper · 22/04/2013 18:37

Good vid!! Thanks Footface Smile

OP posts:
Bearfrills · 22/04/2013 18:40

Her child, her choice. Keep your beak firmly out because it's frankly none of your business.

"I'd like her to make an informed choice" - who are you to say she hasn't already done her research? And even if she hasn't then refer to my first point about it being her child.

Softlysoftly · 22/04/2013 18:40

Ask her if she would feel the same if she lived in South Wales with a baby I can't currently vaccinate?

Bet she'd be down the clinic with the other jab refusers / forgetters quicker than stink.

lljkk · 22/04/2013 18:52

Why should she give a toss what MNers think? Confused

Stuff like tetanus scares the bejeezus out of me; DH had bad pneumonia from HIb (as an adult). So privately I think it's mad to avoid vaccines without compelling reasons, but whatever, it's her choice.

racheael76 · 22/04/2013 18:58

if my mum didnt give me the jab when i was younger i would be worried if i was pregnant with the outbreak.i would think she was selfish,thoughtless.if my baby (my mums grandchild) was stillborn,brain damaged,no hearing caused by german measles i would think my mum could have prevented this by giving me the mmr = i wonder how my mum would feel?
I had my child vaccinated i will do anything to safegaurd my child and other children families.its not just the child who has not had her jabs at risk.so i think it is very selfish and thoughtless of the parent who refuses.I want to help my community i give to charity,i have an organ donation card
protected my child against nasty diseases and also people with cancer,low immune systems from a serious ilness,newborn babies to 12 months so it upsets me others are so selfish.if only communities could help each other and think of others to.
i hope my organs and money i give to help others goes to someone who would do anything to help others not selfish putting risks to themselfs and others.---but i cant 2 wrongs dont make a right do they? i believe in life we should treat others how we should like to be treated our selfs.take a step back and think hard would i like that ? how would i feel if someone treated me like that?

Skellig · 22/04/2013 18:59

This is great:
tallguywrites.livejournal.com/148012.html

Ericaequites · 22/04/2013 19:11

I was born in 1970, and was given all available vaccines. I have Aspergers, and know it was genetic. Other extended family members also have it, and immediate family members have soft signs. Wakefield's study has been shown to be invalid. All healthy children without immunosuppressive or severe and well-documented allergies should be vaccinated to maintain herd immunity. Therefore, I see no problems with butting in. People are welcome to their own personal beliefs, but not when it interferes with the health and safety of others.

Sirzy · 22/04/2013 19:14

How do you know she isn't making an informed choice?

As much as I am all for vaccination it isn't your place to make the choice for someone else nor is it your place to educate them on the topic unless they ask for your opinion.

Original poster
footflapper · 22/04/2013 19:16

90% of what Racheal76 posted..
LlJK, it's not about what other mners think (tho this was the first place I thought of), I'd like to try and get her to see why it's dangerous not to. So I'm trying to change her outdated views. Given a choice she'd believe anything the Daily Mail wrote, & mostly every 'life story' from Eastenders too.

OP posts:
CwtchesAndCuddles · 22/04/2013 19:18

I live in the outbreak area - there is one confirmed case at DDs school. Parents went nuts when they found out the school hadn't told them so that they could get their children vaccinated. We have been having letters home for months about measles and the risks and a hard push by the health authority to get parents to vaccinate. It's not like they didn't know it could happen - but as soon as there was a case in school parents have been fighting for appointments and going to the drop in sessions - all because the risk is now very real.

Many are worried that they may have left it too late and their children could already be incubating measles. DD had her MMR but I know there is still a small risk as it's not 100% - my mums friend is deaf beacause of measles.

Weigh up the risks and make an informed choice by all means but please consider how you would feel if you found out a classmate of you dc had measles.

AdoraBell · 22/04/2013 19:23

Unless your or your child has a suppressed immune system then yes, YANBU.

I agree with vaccinating and think that everyone who can should, but if someone choses not to that's none of my business. Neither is it yours.

TidyDancer · 22/04/2013 19:26

Gosh, this is none of your business. You can withdraw from seeing her for this reason, but you can't make her change her mind.

Original poster
footflapper · 22/04/2013 19:31

Confused Just because Ds & I are fine with our health, is it really unreasonable to think of others who are not? It's not like i'm sticking my nose in with routines/food/clothes or anything that affects their domestic life?

OP posts:
Freddiemisagreatshag · 22/04/2013 19:39

It is absolutely none of your business.

You are sticking your nose in that person's parenting decisions.

Oh and it's "going to" not gonna.

CloudsAndTrees · 22/04/2013 19:44

Yes, YABU to be annoyed. It's nothing to do with you. You worry about your own parenting decisions and let her worry about hers.

If you are concerned about the risk to your baby family member, then let her mother tell you why she is once rented and maybe help her research the answers to questions she has. Or help her source a reputable paediatrician who will give singles.

But FFS, don't be annoyed with a mother who just wants to make her own decision about what is injected into her baby.

Original poster
footflapper · 22/04/2013 19:49

It's not singles though Clouds, she's refused all of them from age dot.

OP posts:
LadyGranulomaFortesque · 22/04/2013 19:51

Why do you think that her decision is uninformed? Just because someone doesn't agree with you, or goes against conventional thinking, that does not mean they are wrong.

Did you know that Galileo was persecuted by both the church and by his contemporaries because he insisted on believing crazy Copernicus that the earth revolved around the sun?

Whatever your beliefs, you cannot impress them upon someone else who is equally able to make an informed decision, even if the conclusion they reach is not the one you would like them to reach.

Can you also tell me how the link to autism was disproved? Because I think in that you are quite wrong.

Freddiemisagreatshag · 22/04/2013 19:53

Why is it any of your business?

It isn't, that's why. Why do you care so much and why are you insisting on gathering information to shove down her throat give her?

CloudsAndTrees · 22/04/2013 19:53

If she's refused all of the jabs it can't be because of the Wakefield thing, that had nothing to do with the other vaccinations.

So do you have any real idea what her reasons are?

Original poster
footflapper · 22/04/2013 19:54

I suppose it's good its none of my business, because when her adult daughter asks why she was put at risk she'll be able to answer in her own words Envy

OP posts:
ChippingInLovesSpring · 22/04/2013 19:55

So I'm trying to change her outdated views. Given a choice she'd believe anything the Daily Mail wrote, & mostly every 'life story' from Eastenders too

You are actually going to show her this thread??

It is NONE of your business, so just keep your beak OUT.

Freddiemisagreatshag · 22/04/2013 19:55

Jesus Wept.

Who died and made you the parenting God?

ChippingInLovesSpring · 22/04/2013 19:56

Oh stop being a bloody drama queen.

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