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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed with family member about childhood jabs

83 replies

footflapper · 22/04/2013 18:12

I would like a certain family member to make an informed choice about her Dd's jabs. So i'll be showing her this thread. She's absolutely refusing to let her 12 mo have any vaccinations due to the scare from many years ago about the now disproved link to autism. So I'm gonna try and make sure she has all the facts..

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 22/04/2013 19:56

It's none of your business.

QOD · 22/04/2013 19:57

I hope she doesn't actually read this thread and see how much you've patronized her.

Each to their own.

I went the single jab route for mmr and dd had everything else. By its up to the individual

Incidentally, my two sils intentionally got their children together when dn1 had chicken pox. Dn2 then caught it. As she'd just had her mmr, her immune system failed her and she's now severely disabled.
My sil mum to dn1 assured her sil that dn2 would be fine.

She isn't.

Beak out would be my advice.

Jan49 · 22/04/2013 19:58

YABU. It's none of your business. It's a choice for the child's parents. Telling her she ought to vaccinate is far worse than getting involved with her routines, food, clothes or domestic life.

CheeseandGherkins · 22/04/2013 19:59

Wow. None of your business what choices she makes. Hope that helps.

Original poster
footflapper · 22/04/2013 20:00

Thank you Clouds, that's where I was trying to go with this thread. She's under the belief that ALL childhood jabs cause autism. She wasn't exactly the most (ahem) academic at school.

OP posts:
LillianGish · 22/04/2013 20:01

Actually I think public health is all our business. Herd immunity only works if everyone vaccinates. There will always be a few children who can't be vaccinated because of other health issues and by not not vaccinating perfectly robust children you are putting the health of the unfortunate few at risk.

MmeThenardier · 22/04/2013 20:03

Will you still be showing her this thread? I'm guessing not judging by your last comment...

What Freddiemisagreatshag said.

CheeseandGherkins · 22/04/2013 20:04

So bloody sick of self righteous vaccination threads and posts. Yes I know there's a hide button, it's been well used.

Bearfrills · 22/04/2013 20:04

She wasn't exactly the most (ahem) academic at school.

And I bet you aren't exactly the most (ahem) nicest of people. That's a shocking statement! So basically, in your opinion, she's thick and a shit parent because she's made a choice that you don't agree with.

I hope she does read this thread and calls you on it.

cakeandcava · 22/04/2013 20:04

Surprised that so many people are saying none of your business. Of course it is your business. Herd immunity is a public health issue, and affects everyone. I absolutely think you have the right to both 'butt in', give her your opinion and try to persuade her, as this is an issue where her choice will affect not only her DC but others as well.

Freddiemisagreatshag · 22/04/2013 20:05

I think you should list every parenting decision you ever made, and I'll trawl the internet and start a thread on a parenting forum about the ones I disagree with and then print the thread out to tell you why you're wrong. How about that?

cakeandcava · 22/04/2013 20:08

The vast majority of parenting decisions affect only your child and your family, so is nobody else's business. But vaccinations is different -it affects everyone.

Bearfrills · 22/04/2013 20:09

I don't know about other areas but in my area when you decline a vaccination you are politely reminded of the risks/benefits of vaccinating/not vaccinating.

It is not down to Nosey Nelly, your kindly relative, to sneeringly point out what an idiot you're being.

Every parent makes their own choice and has to live with that choice. End of and beak out.

Where do we draw the line? Forcibly removing infants and children from their parents so that they can be vaccinated, against the parents will?

cakeandcava · 22/04/2013 20:11

Of course we can't forcibly remove children from their parents. But we can voice opinions, give facts, try to persuade, etc. Which is what the OP is trying to do.

Freddiemisagreatshag · 22/04/2013 20:12

It's not the OP's place to do that. HCPs will have done that already.

TSO · 22/04/2013 20:12

I doubt the veracity of what you're saying because I don't want to believe that anyone would be quite so rude but I'll play along anyway. Are you prepared to be considered an estranged relative as soon as you patronise and shove your opinions down this woman's throat?

Are you prepared to be humiliated, told to eff off and shown the door? To be known as "that interfering [insert insult of choice here]"?

To emphasise what has been said already - THIS IS NOT YOUR CHILD. THIS IS NOT YOUR LIFE. THIS IS NOT YOUR BUSINESS.

Bearfrills · 22/04/2013 20:13

It's none of the OPs business though and it's not her place to quote facts or try to persuade.

specialsubject · 22/04/2013 20:13

it's her choice if she lives on a desert island. 'I read it on the internet/believe discredited research' is not informed.

I would be interested to see the proof that vaccines cause damage, and the percentage of children damaged from vaccines versus the percentage damaged by the illnesses.

I had an apparently spectacular reaction to the live measles jab (no longer used). I'm fine. Just one example of course.

meantime, look up why there is no smallpox.

Freddiemisagreatshag · 22/04/2013 20:14

TO FAMILY MEMBER OF OP SINCE YOU'RE BEING SHOWN THIS THREAD.

Tell her NO it's a complete sentence.

Then "did you mean to be so rude"

Then "fuck the fuck off and when you get there fuck off some more"

HTH

Bearfrills · 22/04/2013 20:16

Everything Freddie said and don't forget to tell the OP all about parenting decisions she has made that you didn't agree with.

Original poster
footflapper · 22/04/2013 20:19

Bearfrills, there is a lot more to this than I am willing to say. Threads on internet forums are a small snap shot into peoples lives, there's a million and one dynamics that can't be written using a keypad..
Freddie, I'm an arse, hands up!!
I shall concede, IABU..
I still won't change my views though. Goodnight x

OP posts:
Freddiemisagreatshag · 22/04/2013 20:22

And flounce Hmm

This thread didn't quite go the way you planned, did it?

professorpimms · 22/04/2013 20:22

let me guess...this 'certain' family member is your SIL?

pointythings · 22/04/2013 20:24

Actually YABU for trying. Someone who thinks the Mail is gospel is not going to listen to research.

YANBU for thinking she isn't making a wise decision, but unless you have immunocompromised children and are going to see a lot of her, you might as well not bother.

It's sad, as we need to vaccinate everyone who can be vaccinated to protect those who can't be.

We also need some serious research into the genetic and environmental factors that predispose to vaccine reactions so that we can identify those at risk.

TSO · 22/04/2013 20:25

"I shall concede, IABU..
I still won't change my views though. Goodnight x"

OP: I'm right!
Majority: You're wrong!
OP: OK, I'm wrong but I'm still going to stick my nose in someone else's business. And I'm going now so that you can't argue with me, ner.

Professorpimms, my money's on the relative being the sister in law too. Wink

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