to be disappointed that my friends are so boring?

[nenevomito]

Seriously. It really curtails my opportunities to start threads whinging about or questioning what my friends say and do.

They can't even be arsed to make an offensive comment on Facebook. Bastards.

AIBU to wish that they'd just get off their arses and do something confrontational or cunty just once so I could start a bun-fight over something poinless.

Perhaps you should start the cunty ball rolling ?

Ask the person next to you if they are pregnant, or just fat

I dare ya

< flicks V's >

It sounds as though you are making that classic Facebook error of only friending people whom you actually like. You might even be compounding it by taking the same approach in real life, which is fatal for thread fodder. Pull your socks up. Surely there's an elderly racist family member you can rustle up? Are you spending enough time on buses?

Spend more time in Asda. Apparently there are some right cunty people trailing around in there to hoick judgy pants at.

You can borrow some of mine if you like?

Shut up you fat cunt.

Tesco, too. Tesco is always full of cunts.

I'm a right berk. Befriend me

I have always found Greggs to be a rich source of cuntish customers....or how about standing in front of the Fruit Shoot shelf in the supermarket? You could start a fight there if you put a bit of effort in?

Do you have a MIL? They beat friends hands down for being unreasonable, annoying, interfering and tactless. Seriously, anything will do - 'she gave dd a chocolate biscuit', 'she bought ds a new outfit' 'she asked if she could take dc to the pantomime'.

All totally unreasonable actions that you could get a huge thread going about.

Sorry Cailinsalach. I was in Greggs at lunchtime and a taxi driver who had just been served apologized profusely for getting in my way at the door.

Greggs is out.

Simply leave the house with your children. There will always be some cunty old dear who wants to chat to them, or God Forbid touch them.

Let them run riot in John Lewis's cafeteria.

Get your baps out and start breastfeeding at the park. Guaranteed dirty looks.

No annoying neighbours at all? Perhaps you could post a few shits through some local letterboxes. That would start the ball rolling, I feel.

Let your cat out to have a shit in next door's garden every day.

You'll be swapping cups of sugar in no time !

Me too , they have even got married in a reasonable manner .
And not one spa weekend between any if them for a hen do .

Bastards !

I know! My friends don't even post stupid, misspelled, offensive rants about forriners on their facebook. [sadface]

In all groups of friends there is always one person who is completely beyond the pale in every way, and a total embarrassment to the others.

Just saying.

Like attracts like?

YANBU. I have exactly the same problem. It's so bloody unfair when you do your best to befriend people you think might have the potential to offend. All that time wasted and not a miserable moany whingy entitled lazy selfish bugger amongst them. Why me?

Go to the school gate, bound to be some twats there.

Give someone EVILS and then report back on them 'shaking and crying'

This reminds me of "There is always one really odd, annoying person in every family. If you can't think who it is, then it's you."