to be disappointed that my friends are so boring?

[nenevomito]

Seriously. It really curtails my opportunities to start threads whinging about or questioning what my friends say and do.

They can't even be arsed to make an offensive comment on Facebook. Bastards.

AIBU to wish that they'd just get off their arses and do something confrontational or cunty just once so I could start a bun-fight over something poinless.

they sound like arses to me cant even have a good row once in a while ditch the lot of them and find some good friends who bitch and argue

Artex, I'm gutted because I can't find any single-track lanes to drive down and create a Mexican stand-off in

jealous of Artex's twat DH

Ninth, perhaps you could steal him off her ?

She doesn't give him enough BJ's anyway, it would be entirely her own fault

Perhaps you need to address exactly who your friends are. I'm quite sure that if you try you may just pick up a few twats, thus giving you thread material every other day? You never know, you may even be able to have a few going at once.

Artex, you need to leave the bastard, you really do.

So basically you fuckers are all telling me that its my own fault for only hanging around and friending people I like?

Nice buck-passing there.

I bf one child and ff the other, so there's no scope for getting shitty about that. My neighbours are two lovely old ladies who are quiet and kind to the children and I've never had anyone look askance at me for feeding in public, having a pushchair or even the way I speak to my children.

Not only that, but they have the odd greggs AND healthy food.

As for my MiL, not only does she live miles away and hardly visits - but the last time she did, the utter BITCH gave us a thousand pounds so we could have a holiday. I mean how could she? There should be lots of milage in having a MIL and she bloody well ruins it.

It's pointless isn't it? How can I have an enriching experience on Mumsnet if I can't meet some really cunty people who do really cunty things?

AF - I looked to the person sat next to me and asked if they were PG. He said no .

Gerrof. I don't do the school run

I'm doomed to be surrounded by people who are, well, rather nice to be around.

I'm in McDonalds, hoping it kicks off.

Everyone looks cheery though, the bastards!

hahahaha school gates is the one. totally unhinged people there.

Actually, it's not true. DS3 dropped his Froot Shoot and it rolled away near to some teenagers. One looked at me a bit funny as I retrieved it.

I should have jumped up and slapped her, shouldn't I?

In my haste to post about the arrogant turn who have me the stink eye, I added a DS. I only have two, not three.

That's how angry I am. Grr.

BH, you should have said "well, you have manboobs so I thought you must be pregnant"

or summat

Bugger. I have nothing offensive to say.

I was very proud of myself today for not buying a dress in a very pretty colour because the print was pictures of pin-up girls and on reflection I figured it wasn't very feministy. You can be outraged at how offensively po-faced I am if you would like?

Scraping the barrel though, innit. I even read that really long horse rider thread and struggled to get irate with either side, as I was just thinking how my mum and her neighbour take polite turns to scoop up the horse poo in the road for their gardens. I'm fairly sure they're meant to be becoming livid with fury and making outlandish claims about public health and nation gone to the dogs and blaming Thatcher.

I want to be pissed off by people but quite frankly, I can't muster up the energy.

Oh oh oh, I have one.

My parents, the bastards, have the audacity to have booked a holiday months and months ago which now coincides with a Take Twat tribute band I've been roped in to going to see with "friends" My equally cunty bastard of a husband is running the Manchester marathon that same weekend so I now have no childcare AIBU to think they are all fucking selfish and should cancel their plans to suit me?

Maybe I should start a thread called "Do you have really strong opinions about stuff that doesn't matter?" then offer to fb friend everyone who answers yes.

Perhaps I should go for a personal ad instead?

"re you a racist, sexist, homophobic daily mail reading twat? If yes I need you!"

That sounds like it might be a good idea, babyheave.

Oh, fgs!!! Is that all you have to worry about? At least you have friends!! And a facebook account. some people still have to use myspace

I can lend you my cat.... she just went and shat in next door's garden.

On the lawn.