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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be a hmm about Boston victims

149 replies

Gossipmonster · 15/04/2013 22:56

Photos and Memes (sp?) already appearing on FB Hmm.

It's only been a couple of hours - the man with his legs blown off us particularly offensive - he is prob still fighting for his life - his family might not know he is hurt yet?

Yet SIL just posted a picture of him with the caption "he was running for charity yet lost both his legs in the bombings" Hmm .

FFS what is wrong with people? :(

OP posts:
RichManPoorManBeggarmanThief · 16/04/2013 01:12

It's massively disrespectful, but a lot of people just cant resist a grief-wank unfortunately. It's what the defriend button is for. Actually, the last couple of week's news flow have helped me prune my list considerably.

K8Middleton · 16/04/2013 01:24

There has always been people who are mawkish. Facebook just gives more of them a platform than the printing press has. You might as well be angry with the printing press as with Facebook. The issue is the people not the medium.

Some of the coverage has been really crass... but we all sat and watched it didn't we? We have to take responsibility for our actions and either ignore or delete mawkish rubbish that is sent to us for other people's emotional vampireism.

I turned over to the news find out what had happened. There was a live broadcast supposedly by a local broadcaster at the scene. It was a classic case of immediacy over substance. His revelations included: "people did not look happy" and "some children were crying" and then an admission that he hadn't been there and he "imagined" it was like XYZ. Awful and pointless, as if the horror was not enough.

fortyplus · 16/04/2013 01:57

I have nearly 300 'friends' on facebook - many of whom I know through my sport, and many who are teenagers. Not one has posted anything inappropriate.

People can be a problem, not a social networking site. Delete the people who post offensive comment, relatives or not, and report their posts to the site.

Fifyfomum · 16/04/2013 02:30

I never get gross crap on Facebook (not complaining) I am lucky in my friends on there I guess, I'm always hearing about awful stuff but never have to look at it thankfully

pennefab · 16/04/2013 02:56

Just want to let people know that the Red Cross and other agencies were actually REQUESTING that people in Boston area use social media to post their well-being status. Apparently the cellular service had been spotty due to capacity issues. The rationale was to reach as many of your loved ones as possible at a time.

So while social media can be a pain, it can be a useful tool, too.

Kytti · 16/04/2013 05:46

Those fucking candle pictures. Within minutes! And the improper spellings... bad grammar... pictures of people suffering that you don't know from Adam. Bloody hate them all.

And of course I care, but sharing the picture of a fucking candle won't make those affected feel any better.

sydlexic · 16/04/2013 06:39

My DD commented last night that when she was fund raising for a little girl that lives locally to have an operation to enable her to walk, all of those with their candle pictures and misery porn did nothing to help not even a £1 sponsor.

I think they want to be seen as caring as they feel guilty that they are not.

exoticfruits · 16/04/2013 06:50

I think it must depend on who your friends are- I just haven't seen any of this stuff. I have checked again and nothing.

Tee2072 · 16/04/2013 06:55

Yes, officials are encouraging the use of social media, but not to spread horrific pictures!

And, I must say, your thread title is a bit off, OP, it reads like you are uncertain about the victims. Perhaps ask HQ to edit to read that you are Hmm about the sharing of images and not the victims themselves?

exoticfruits · 16/04/2013 07:01

I was a bit taken aback by the thread title and relieved to find it wasn't what I thought.

NotTreadingGrapes · 16/04/2013 07:03

Ditto.

YoniFoolsAndHorses · 16/04/2013 07:18

Have never reposted, but

Personally, I find bombing the fuck out of innocent people more offensive than moaning about the pictures people are sharing. Maybe that's just me.

^this^^

And glad your cousin is okay, mumblepot

mummytime · 16/04/2013 07:23

They actually switched off cell coverage in the area, as cell phones are a way of setting off "other devices".

EnidRollins · 16/04/2013 07:29

And of course I care, but sharing the picture of a fucking candle won't make those affected feel any better.

Nobody will be expecting their posting a picture of a candle to make those affected 'feel better.' Confused
I haven't posted it myself as I don't 'do' all those repost this if you care' type posts, but I certainly wouldn't be unfriending anyone who just wants to show their respects and that they care/are thinking of those who are affected.
I'd much rather see that than the amount of disgusting hate filled rants and songs I've seen about a certain former PM on there this week.
Now hate filled idiots like THAT I can see the point in unfriending, and have done quite a bit of unfriending and hiding people on there this week.
For caring though? Nope, not so much. Nice to know after this week that there are still thoughtful people out there instead of bile spouting individuals and rioters.

MarvinMedium · 16/04/2013 08:02

I find the folks posting candles a few minutes after the bombing are the same people posting the bile about Maggie Thatcher (lets riot at the funeral etc.) with a few 'funny' cat pics in between Hmm

But my beef is not really about the mawkish candle pics ... it was the photos appearing in peoples FB streams without their consent. I think that is irresponsible.

And yes, probably a debate for another day.

thebody · 16/04/2013 08:05

Sky news showed the crash my dd was involved in and honed in on bloody Disney blankets and shoes. At this point we had no idea if she was alive or dead.

What can you do? Nothing.

MarvinMedium · 16/04/2013 08:11

Disgusting thebody - i hope she is okay.

I fear you are correct though - everyone has camera phones and we have rolling 24 hour news.

hackmum · 16/04/2013 08:15

Richmanpoorman - love the phrase "griefwank".

I just hate the way people feel the need to get in on the act. Lots of people on FB posting things like "Awful news from Boston" or "thoughts and prayers are with people in Boston." Really? Is there honestly any need to say anything at all? It's not as if there's an alternative view abroad that the explosions were a good thing, is it?

Perhaps I'm an old grump. But I also got irritated by people on Twitter posting warnings not to jam the phone lines by ringing Boston or giving advice about where to donate blood (generally there isn't a huge requirement for donated blood in these situations). It's like people can't resist the urge to feel important.

K8Middleton · 16/04/2013 08:27

Actually I think it's natural to want to acknowledge a major incident like this with a comment and perfectly possible without making it an opportunity for self promotion. I also think there's a need to Do Something and that's why people pass on advice about phone lines and blood donation.

That's very different to mawkish posts and images.

MiaowTheCat · 16/04/2013 09:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

countrykitten · 16/04/2013 09:14

ssd I agree completely. FB brings out the very worst in people.

K8Middleton · 16/04/2013 09:27

FB brings out the very worst in people.

I disagree and think it's more that Facebook brings out the worst people.

You can control FB in a way you cannot control other public voices. If you find FB is full of arses you need to change your privacy settings and be more selective with your friends.

Twitter has been amazing for breaking stories. The coverage of the riots was being led from there with rolling TV news reporting what was happening based on live feeds. New media and technology has also been a way of picking up news that would not otherwise have happened. Remember the brave man who talked live to BBC news from his hotel under siege in India? He died and that was the last thing he ever did. Amazing and courageous that he chose to tell his story.

But I digress... the attention seeking candles and public displays of borrowed grief are horrid but online just takes it to you instead of the knee deep flowers for Diana or the piles of teddy bears when children are murdered. Emotional incontinence without real support is rather sickening.

The thread title is also off IMO too.

countrykitten · 16/04/2013 09:43

Yes I did a double take at the thread title...it's very strangely worded.

Tee2072 · 16/04/2013 09:53

I don't have a single one of these things on my FB or Twitter feeds, BTW.

I think y'all need different friends.

cowmop · 16/04/2013 09:54

Marvin you have just described my sil's facebook updates to the letter, along with random bunches of flowers. I didn't have the tv on last night until I saw the candle pic she had posted 3.2 seconds after the news of the bombs happened.

I know people show and acknowledge grief and respect in different ways, but posting bloody pictures of victims of crime or terrorism just shouldn't be one of them.