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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to wish my Mother would stop taking my DD's out dressed really badly?

70 replies

Yardley · 10/04/2013 14:03

I know I am being really but...Mother is staying with us this week, doing us a huge favour and looking after DD's whilst I am at work.I have just spied Mother and DD1 walking past my work, with DD1 dressed in a combination of a top thats far too small for her (which was in a bag to go to the charity shop), pink jeans, (that clash badly with said top), and for some reason, school shoes.God Love her, she looked horrendous! (still gorgeous to me etc etc, but still, why would my Mother do that to her? Why?)

OP posts:
magimedi · 10/04/2013 14:05

YABVU & ungrateful to your Mother who is giving up her time so you get free childcare.

Mumsyblouse · 10/04/2013 14:07

How old is she? I suspect your mum let her dress herself!

No biggie, she's helping out and I'm sure your dd still looks cute.

TimeIsACurrency · 10/04/2013 14:09

So lay your kids outfits on the bed so your mum doesn't have to go looking through wardrobes etc to find their stuff. Makes it a bit easier fo rher anyway.

YABU though you do already know that.

CockyFox · 10/04/2013 14:09

I would also think she let her dress herself, my kids look a right state when they surprise me by getting up and dressed first at the weekend.

NippyDrips · 10/04/2013 14:10

Mil sends dsd to us looking a state if she has been there over night.

I second laying the clothes out ready in the mornings.

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie · 10/04/2013 14:12

OP my DH does this. He looks PAST the items which are nice and which fits and hones in on the faded, the tight and the downright tacky and pops those on our DDs.

I've given up...it doesn't matter a bit what they wear as long as they are happy and comfy.

willyoulistentome · 10/04/2013 14:13

I thought you were going to be complaining about your MOTHERS clothes.

Yes you are being a bit unreasonable. She's doing you a favour. Why don't you pick out the outfits for the kids the night before, then your Mum won;t have to look for clothes.

Thurlow · 10/04/2013 14:13

YABU - but I feel your pain. Whenever DP dresses DD I just look at her and think - why? really, why? Colours, patterns, the whole lot just clash all the time. Sometimes I lay her clothes out the night before for him, but then I do that anyway if I have to get her up and dressed for the CM in the morning, so I pretend I put them out on auto-pilot.

If she's old enough to chose her clothes, just pretend any bad outfits were her decision!

Mumsyblouse · 10/04/2013 14:14

When my DH looked after my dd2 for several days a week, I taught dd2 then about aged 2, to match clothes, so green with green, blue with blue, so that nothing too terrible happened otherwise she looked like a mad rainbow explosion of clashing colours, there were some corker outfits. I didn't really care though, you know YABU and so was I really as they had a great time together.

gail734 · 10/04/2013 14:16

Ha ha! Reminds me of the time DH came to meet me, having bathed and proudly dressed a wriggling infant. But the little "tracksuit" he'd wrestled her into had little sleeping bunnies all over it so was, of course, jammies.

ChasingStaplers · 10/04/2013 14:16

YABU
DD has just learned to dress herself and likes to 'express' herself. At first it annoyed me but now I just let her get one with it. As long as we're not at a wedding/christening etc and she's warm enough it doesn't matter what she wears.

Curioustiger · 10/04/2013 14:17

YABU. My father in law refused to acknowledge any difference between leggings and tights. Many is the time I have seen my dd coming back from an outing wearing tights and a t-shirt, and the pram piled high with blankets to compensate for the cold. if they look after them and keep them warm, safe and fed, you can't complain!

whokilleddannylatimer · 10/04/2013 14:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BackforGood · 10/04/2013 14:26

YABtotallyU and ridiculous!
Now, you could have started a thread to say how lucky you are / how grateful you are to your Mum for looking after your dds while you work. Or, isn't she great that she doesn't just let them loiter in front of TV all day, but takes them out and about.
That level of nitpicking vies with the other ridiculous thread this morning about a MNer's 8 yr old wearing normal clothes for an 8 yr old, and this upsetting the mother. Confused

oldwomaninashoe · 10/04/2013 14:29

You are surely grateful to your Mum , but I feel your pain.
I'm a little strange that I cannot cope with things not co-ordinating, I know its odd but I have to avert my eyes if anyone near me is wearing too many different colours or wierd clothing combinations.

I couldn't have not rushed out of work and marched my dd home when I saw her, but I know I am a little OCD about this Blush

CMOTDibbler · 10/04/2013 14:36

YABU. As long as your child is at an appropriate temperature, it really doesn't matter what they wear.

TryingtobelessChunkyChick · 10/04/2013 14:38

gail my DH did the same. I was in hospital & when he brought my 9mo DD in to see me, she was wearing pj bottoms & a completely clashing top. He also admitted about a year later he'd forgotten to belt her car seat in, until he went around a roundabout, so I guess it could be worse Hmm

But yes OP, YAB a bit U. She won't die from bad clothes although you might from shame Wink

WhizzforAtomms · 10/04/2013 14:38

Reminds me when then-DH brought young DS to my work for the first time - clothes taken from the charity bag (way too small, scruffy and now covered in breakfast) and apparently a wheel had fallen off the buggy on the way in so he was kind of dragging it scratchily across the floor...

Thurlow · 10/04/2013 14:43

Anyone thought this might be quite a light-hearted AIBU? Grin

DP has also done the PJs as clothing routine. Changing from babygrows to PJs is obviously a dangerous manouevre...

silverangel · 10/04/2013 14:44

I leave clothes out for mum and m-i-l who do childcare during the week and also for DH when he does childcare during school hols.

So YANBU for noticing but YABU for not preventing it!

Stepissue · 10/04/2013 14:50

Magi - think this was a lighthearted op, no excuse to jump on the OP quite so eagerly Hmm

hugoagogo · 10/04/2013 14:52

Poor OP, she only wished her Mother wouldn't do it, not that Unreasonable.

Time to go through your dd's things and remove old/small things I suppose.

pinkyponk67 · 10/04/2013 14:53

yup my DH does this too. I have even started putting DDs clothes into matching outfits in the drawer to make it easy but he still manages to put the oddest combinations together so she looks like a refugee. He also never notices if clothes are too small for her...

bunnymother · 10/04/2013 14:57

YANBU. I have shuddered when I have seen some of the outfits our nanny dressed our DCs in, and also my DH. I very quickly started laying out clothes for them if I wasn't going to be dressing them. Yes, yes, really kind of your mum to take her out, but I appreciate it makes you wince to see your daughter in head to to pink/purple or weather inappropriate outfits. Bet you lay out her clothes tonight!!

RevoltingPeasant · 10/04/2013 15:02

I'm honestly surprised anyone cares about their DC matching. My parents always let me 'express myself' in terms of clothing combinations, and I never really bothered about matching till I was about 25 11 or 12. If she were getting bullied at school or something, fine, but otherwise, who cares....

However I do realise this was light-hearted :)