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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to wish my Mother would stop taking my DD's out dressed really badly?

70 replies

Yardley · 10/04/2013 14:03

I know I am being really but...Mother is staying with us this week, doing us a huge favour and looking after DD's whilst I am at work.I have just spied Mother and DD1 walking past my work, with DD1 dressed in a combination of a top thats far too small for her (which was in a bag to go to the charity shop), pink jeans, (that clash badly with said top), and for some reason, school shoes.God Love her, she looked horrendous! (still gorgeous to me etc etc, but still, why would my Mother do that to her? Why?)

OP posts:
DorcasDelIcatessen · 10/04/2013 15:04

I let my kids wear pretty much anything they want as long as its weather appropriate and covers them decently. Its my mum who despairs and gets them looking "Like someone owns them". :o I agree its a lighthearted AIBU. Leave her be.

Curioustiger · 10/04/2013 15:07

whizz that has really made me laugh!

megandraper · 10/04/2013 15:14

I have shuddered when I have seen some of the outfits our nanny dressed our DCs in, and also my DH.

bunnymother - your nanny dresses your DH? Confused Grin

DorcasDelIcatessen · 10/04/2013 15:16

bedhopper I resisted commenting on that. :o

bunnymother · 10/04/2013 15:17

Ha ha, yes, she is Uber Nanny - nanny to us all. Grin

Either that, or I have shuddered at our nanny dressing the DCs in outfits of her choosing, and also shuddered at the outfits my DH has chosen for the DCs. None have been great, let me tell you.

NoNoNoMYDoIt · 10/04/2013 15:20

My DD is 4 and I haven't been able to choose her outfit for well over 2 years. Often she chooses a dress, skirt and trousers. All mismatching. Usually with a long sleeve tshirt as well. Last night she got wet in the garden so got changed into a t shirt with a pink tutu style skirt and a pair of shorts underneath and blue socks. Who cares?!

You were being lighthearted and you knew you were B a bit U. So I won't mention the last time I left my kids with my mother for an hour in public and this resulted in the police paying me a visit as she had been seen abusing my then 2yr old DD....

Original poster
Yardley · 10/04/2013 15:21

I DID lay them some clothes out before I left...but that plan clearly went awry...

And yes, I am aware that this isnt a state of the nation sort of issue...and that it wont affect DD's development in any way...I was being lighthearted-mostly Grin.

That said, my Mum (who doesnt give a fig what she looks like-fair enough-up to her), once sent me to a friends party in a filthy pair of jeans and one of my Dad's jumpers, in which I had been assisting with the lambing all morning.I clearly remember, aged 7,(same age as DD1) being, (rightly or wrongly before people go crazy at me),a tad embarassed because everyone else looked at least vaguely pretty/not covered in sheep gunk...

OP posts:
bigfuckoffpie · 10/04/2013 15:24

My DM bought 10mo DS a hideous multipack of pink and purple tights. I'm not too bothered about them obviously being for girls, it's that they're hideously patterned - even if I had a DD I still wouldn't like them.

DM teams them with camo jeans, his polka dot baby slippers and a t-shirt that goes with nothing else. Even although I've always already dressed him when she arrives, she'll find some pretext for changing all his clothes and always, always puts on the tights.

I've just hidden them in the cupboard.

BeCool · 10/04/2013 15:26

She dressed herself - bless! She'll survive.

EndoplasmicReticulum · 10/04/2013 15:26

My husband does this too. He will move the currently fitting stuff out of the way to get to the one forgotten too-small t-shirt at the back of the cupboard. Why?

Also, on several occasions I would point out that son 1 seemed to be wearing trousers that were mysteriously too small, and yet at the same time son 2's trousers were suddenly much too big for him....

He will also pick yesterdays clothes off the floor and put them on boys again, which isn't necessarily a bad thing because I'm not one of these people who insists on clean everything for everyone regardless. However I think it's worth a cursory glance to make sure that there is not more food visible than jumper.

KellyElly · 10/04/2013 15:27

My DD's dad (my ex) often puts her in a pyjama top with a pair of jeans or a normal top with a pair of pj bottoms Confused

MaidenDevon · 10/04/2013 15:33

I've picked DD aged 2 up from nursery and DH had dressed her in a pyjama top to drop her off. Meh. It was clean, long sleeved and fitted, it could have been passed off as a top, no one knew except me (and DD who had asked him when he put it on her if they were going night night...)

You know YABU. Have a Brew Grin

redskyatnight · 10/04/2013 15:35

Hang on ... DD1 is 7? YABU to expect your mother to have anything to do with choosing her outfit, surely she is old enough to do it herself?

SatsukiKusukabe · 10/04/2013 15:36

I thought you meant inappropriate for the weather or something. it really doesnt matter

SleepOhHowIMissYou · 11/04/2013 23:10

I feel your pain Yardley. You spend hours (and a small fortune) shopping for outfits that reflect your kid's personalities and that they'll deem to put on their backs without a battle, only to find that when it's grandparents or Dad dressing them, they'll happily go out looking like they fought their way out of the Oxfam bin. I picked my daughter (sorry but I hate the abbreviations) up from her friends yesterday to find her sporting a knotted mat of an Amy-Winehouse-esque beehive at the back of her head (she brushed her own hair) and her arse hanging out of tiny jeans like some sort of builder/baboon hybrid. Daddy dropped her round whilst I was at work. Still, could've been worse, not last night's pajamas after all.

SchnitzelVonKrumm · 11/04/2013 23:15

My DH must spend ages going through the drawers finding clothes that don't go together for our DC.

thermalsinapril · 11/04/2013 23:18

YABU

DioneTheDiabolist · 11/04/2013 23:22

I love seeing DCs in really mismatched clothes. I love the fact that they are so unaware that some will judge them and just get on with the fun stuff in life.

Clashing clothes on children makes me Grin.

DiscoDonkey · 11/04/2013 23:27

I have a "lovely" keyring with a picture of DS in swimming trunks, socks up to the knees and school shoes on. Thanks nanny.

manicinsomniac · 11/04/2013 23:39

Yes technically YABU but I totally understand your feelings. I have always been a single mum and had two daughters young - I'm afraid I treated them like my dress up dolls! Everything was matchy matchy and if they got dirty I changed them. Now even my youngest is nearly 6 and starting to complain if I choose her clothes. It hurts me to see them make a wrong choice I wouldn't make! Grin

But I can clearly remember the first time I got up and dressed myself. My mum was running a camp for teenagers and when I woke up one morning she'd already left our room. So, instead of waiting, I got dressed and went to find her.
I wore: a pink ra-ra skirt with white polka dots, a red hooded sweatshirt, lime green tights and my trainers!
When I arrived in the dining hall, very proud of myself, my mother marched me straight back to the room to 'put something decent on.' I still remember being sad and confused about what I'd done wrong. I think I was 4.

So, although it makes me cringe inside, I let my daughters make their own choices when they were ready.

InSync · 11/04/2013 23:51

OMG I thought your DD was a toddler.

YABU

7 year olds should be picking their own clothes in the morning surely?

My DD has been getting herself dressed without any imput from me for about 2 years and she's 5.

ScrambledSmegs · 11/04/2013 23:54

My DPs looked after DD for a week last year. It happened to be during the Olympics, they got tickets and all three of them went Envy

When my DM proudly showed me the photos I nearly died laughing. They'd let DD (2 at the time) chose her outfit. She went for her pyjama set! Luckily it was a shorts and t shirt combo, but was still quite obviously pj's. She looked so pleased with herself Grin

deleted203 · 11/04/2013 23:55

Ha! In the past I have gone to pick up DCs from nursery to have a lady say to me with a smile, 'A man dressed that child'. (And she was correct). DH would simply open drawers and take out the nearest garments. It doesn't appear to occur to him that clothes should perhaps match.

tigerdriverII · 11/04/2013 23:56

YABU but you know it.

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie · 12/04/2013 00:17

Some 7 year olds aren't really fussed about clothes though and would go out in their PJs....OPs DD may be like that. My own DD is 8 and hasn't let me choose her outfits for years but I DO have a say when she's going to a special event.

I've taught her some basic rules...such as Jeans OR a denim jacket DD not both together...leggings and a LONG top not a short t shirt...no red, red and red....you need to add something else. Grin

She's getting there.