To want to kill colleague who says 'reach out' instead of 'contact'

[Themobstersknife]

I know I am, but just back from mat leave, the bastard has done a land grab and now I want to kill him, especially when he says crap like this!

My favourite made up one is "there's no I in TEAM but there is a U in cunt!"

don't forget 'cookie cutter approach'

boak

"Lets run it up the flag-pole and see who salutes"

please explain the low hanging fruit to me?

Easy wins?

Thanks CR.

YADNBU I hate all this wanky bollock speak.
All these pish talkers seem to think 'why say two words when you can say two hundred'
'Dipping in' to ideas??????
'Tapping in' to resources?????
D'you know what, they would be just as well putting a big fucking sign on themselves saying 'I talk bullshit and have actually started to believe my own pish!!!!'

Thank God I don't have to hear more of all that c..p. YANBU

Oh god yes, the use of the word synergy to mean 'saving money'. You just knew they thought they were being really clever with that one.

Surely though if everyone knows what this stuff means then it's just a new language. Lots of professions have their own language. I suppose the difference between this professional language and that of solicitors or doctors or what not is that the 'professional manager' is not always so well educated and is doing it to try to sound cleverer than they are.

Then it starts to sound normal and it just starts to grate when it's used by people who are otherwise tosses. That's why you sometimes use it yourself Them.

I work for a US company and and am guilty of reaching out.

My personal bugbear is high level. 'I will do a high level overview' from my boss means 'I will make my PA put together a slide with a diagram on it , depicting a complex project in 10 words or less. Then I will make saffron do all the actual work before claiming credit for it.'

Lets lock it down before the end of play.....

I used to work with a a guy who used to say That's it, period! wtf is that meant to mean

Thank you, thank you all! Have just been laughing tears at this thread (particularly the Nigerian one and the "U in cxunt", priceless!!).
Having worked in UK office of US co for 12 years, I am guilty of "reaching out" and lots of the above, but have given my notice to try the SAHM thing, so thoroughly look forward to unlearning all that shite!
During my notice period, I promise to try to seed as many of your fabulous new corporate-speak suggestions into my company as possible, so keep them coming!!

Thanks to this thread I now have 'Reach Out I'll be there' by the Four Tops stuck in my head and can't sleep as a result.

I will spend these involuntary waking hours trying to figure out who I am more annoyed by: the op or her boss.

Hope you really enjoy taking your personal brand into the stay at home space!

Every time I hear "low hanging fruit" it makes me think of testicles.

Just saying.

Loving this thread.

Has anyone mentioned "blue sky thinking"?

Yanbu.

I have recently started working in a very different type of corporate environment where this type of management speak bullshit is common. I have even started using it myself

Freudian doesn't 'period' mean full stop in the US? So he's effectively saying, that's the end, all done, finished. Although why he couldn't say, that's it, finished, who knows?

This is quite entertaining if you have a moment or two...

www.theofficelife.com/business-jargon-dictionary-N.html

My old boss asked us to "take the lead" instead of "do X". I had to take the lead on printing off a note asking people to close the fridge door.

Other ones I hate are 'top of the house' and 'C-suite'.

My favourite made up one is my own which is 'looking out the same window' instead of 'singing from the same hymn sheet'.

I've noticed people talking a lot about challenges lately, instead of something being difficult or hard.

c-suite? What the hell is that?

Yes i think period does sort of mean that is it but why add period not necessary when he has already stated that's it

The ex has just informed me its your call when making arrangements for ds this weekend