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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

aibu or too sensitive due to a comment made about ex's newborn?

49 replies

TrappedInsideADream · 09/04/2013 17:52

My ex and I have 2 sons together, they are 7 and 4.

Unfortunately he doesn't see them as often as he probably should, probably about every other weekend. We broke up about 2 years ago and he moved on very quickly.

His girlfriend is pregnant and has literally just given birth to their daughter.

I saw that someone who a congratulations on ex's Facebook and the ex commented saying - yes now DP is a proper man now he can make a girl.

I don't know if it's stupid to be upset by such a comment, it just seems a little dismissive.

I think I'm also slightly worried that a new baby could and will most certainly mean less time with our children.

OP posts:
Plomdenume · 09/04/2013 17:57

You are not being over sensitive. She is an absolute knob.

BUT think how low her self-esteem and sense of security in this relationship must be if she is posting things like this (aimed if not at you then at denigrating his previous relationship) not long after giving birth.

It might mean less time with your children...then that is his problem and he will have to be the one to explain this to your children. He may also be such a knob that he wants to escape helping with newborn and come and see your children more Grin

Rise above.

IAmJacksRagingBileDuct · 09/04/2013 17:58

I can completely see how you might be upset by a comment like that but I really don't think you need to be. Its one of those old sayings that gets bandied about when people want to say something but don't really think it through. It won't have been meant in reference to the fact he already has two boys so try to let it wash over you if you can.

mrsjay · 09/04/2013 17:59

she sounds a rightbitch catch who says stuff like that rise above it you can see what a cow she is

SoupDragon · 09/04/2013 18:00

She sounds thick, shallow and insecure.

SoupDragon · 09/04/2013 18:01

Hang on... Was it your ex or his girlfriend that said it?

mrsjay · 09/04/2013 18:02

the girlfriend said it

mrsjay · 09/04/2013 18:02

oh no was it him I just read it again how you did soupdragon

Floggingmolly · 09/04/2013 18:02

Who said it? Confused

Original poster
TrappedInsideADream · 09/04/2013 18:03

It was the girlfriend who said it SoupDragon

It was in response to someone writing congratulations on ex's Facebook.

OP posts:
HollyBerryBush · 09/04/2013 18:04

It's quite a common saying. The full phrase is : Any man can make a boy but it takes a real man to make a girl

Put real men make girls into google and it throws up a lot of merchandise

Original poster
TrappedInsideADream · 09/04/2013 18:04

Sorry reading it back it doesn't make sense. I meant -

I saw that someone who a congratulations on ex's Facebook and the girlfriend commented saying - yes now DP is a proper man now he can make a girl.

OP posts:
Floggingmolly · 09/04/2013 18:04

Poor insecure idiot.

mrsjay · 09/04/2013 18:05

ah ok well we can go back to calling her thick insecure again, ach he wont be such a man when he does a runner

Floggingmolly · 09/04/2013 18:05

I've never heard that expression, Holly Shock.

DeskPlanner · 09/04/2013 18:06

What a stupid comment. She sounds an idiot. I'd stay away from there Facebook, in future.

Coconutty · 09/04/2013 18:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

marinagasolina · 09/04/2013 18:07

Something similar was said by one of DFD's family about her dad being a 'proper' bloke at last after DFD's stepmother gave birth to a baby boy a few years ago (DFD had previously been an only child). Her relationship with this particular family member never recovered.

YANBU, they are being hugely insensitive. It's just unnecessary, why can't people just say 'congratulations on your new baby?' Confused

BruthasTortoise · 09/04/2013 18:08

It's a twatty saying but I don't think it's necessarily about the OP as such. People have said it to/about my DH in a "jokey" way after every one of our DSs has been born. Had you and your ex stayed together and had a DD some twit would probably have said it to you aswell. YANBU but don't let it get to you and block your ex and his DP on FB.

Fleecyslippers · 09/04/2013 18:09

Stupid insecure child. Agree that Ex will probably be climbing the walls to get away from a screeching newborn - I know mine is [karma]

waltermittymissus · 09/04/2013 18:09

I've heard that saying.

My brothers took great delight in slagging each other off about real men creating girls!

Perhaps that's all she meant?

TomDudgeon · 09/04/2013 18:09

Real men see all their children often

Let it wash past you. Sounds like she's trying to make herself feel more confident about something

HollyBerryBush · 09/04/2013 18:09

I presume that it is born historically out of primogeniture - as in men need/want boys for succession, thus the phrase is actually twisting that into a female positive thing.

digerd · 09/04/2013 18:11

Yes, unfortunately it will as expect the new mum will need him there to help her. And/or he will be knackered after interrupted sleep for some time. You can explain to your sons how it is with babies. Your sons were babies too.

The new mum is out of order for saying that and you should ignore her ignorance.
For the sake of his sons he should make an effort to see them as much as possible.

DangerousBeanz · 09/04/2013 18:13

My ex was as bad, he never bothered to see ds at all after we split then when had a new family with his gf. A little girl first then when they had a boy they put " at last a longed for son" in the paper. DS was about 9 at the time. Tosser!

thebody · 09/04/2013 18:13

Never heard it before but fucking stupid saying isn't it.

Op if he is true to form she may feel insecure.