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those idiots who block queues in the petrol station, why can't they be more like me?

94 replies

LRDtheFeministDragon · 08/04/2013 14:15

I mean those idiots who sit in the longest queue, blocking everyone else in while half the pumps sit unused, because they refuse to do a little simple reversing or to drag the pump lead over to the other side of the car. I could almost pity them, poor fools.

So, I drove in, saw the only available pump was on the wrong side for me. No trouble, I thought smugly, niftily performing a three-point turn on the forecourt and parking up on the correct side.

Got out to discover that this car has the cap on the other side from my old petrol car. Blush Which I did sort of know but, being an idiot, had forgotten.

Never mind, I thought, getting back in, if I just pull forward a few feet I'll be able to get the hose across the back to the wrong side. I pulled forward. I got out.

Opened the cap to find the handy 'diesel' reminder written on the underside. Bollocks. Now I'd moved my car away from the petrol leads they wouldn't reach.

Got back in. Performed another three-point turn. Got out and filled up from the correct side with the correct fuel, just several aeons minutes later than when I'd started. Tried not to look at other people pissing themselves.


(My AIBU, if the thread police are around, is your choice between the thread title and the more likely 'AIBU to think I am a total twit who lacks the intelligence to drive a car?')

OP posts:

ImTooHecsyForYourParty · 08/04/2013 14:17

Grin oh dear.

I bet you just felt like getting in the car and driving off and fueling somewhere else!

That's what I'd have done.


LRDtheFeministDragon · 08/04/2013 14:18

I did feel tempted. I had on my mind those stories how they panic when they see you drive off because they think you're stealing fuel. I felt very guilty even getting back in to reverse once I'd picked up the hose.

I am a twat.

OP posts:

LadyMountbatten · 08/04/2013 14:20

this fcuking drives me NUTS

stretch your HOSE, wankers

God yes


ParadiseChick · 08/04/2013 14:21

I hate people in petrol stations who treat it like a family outing, taking maw paw and the bairns into the shop for a qwee browse before paying, getting thema ll strapped in again and driving off.

I hate people glaring at me for 'jumping' the queue (also known as using common sense) and strtching the hose over. It's easy done, the majority of places tell you to do it but lots of people don't.


HeartsTrumpDiamonds · 08/04/2013 14:21

LRD you are not a twat, just human and thank you for the giggle Grin

I know someone not me honest who tried to drive away with the nozzle still in the tank.


LadyMountbatten · 08/04/2013 14:21

oh ha! only read para 1 i was SO SO ready to rant

dont let ANYONE see the other paras!!


HousewifeFromHeaven · 08/04/2013 14:21


LadyMountbatten · 08/04/2013 14:22

I also would wilfully garrotte people who drive around with car park tickets in their MOUTHS

ewew ewew


LRDtheFeministDragon · 08/04/2013 14:23

Oh, bless you, hearts, thanks. And Grin at the driving away. You banana.

I will admit, I compounded my sins by buying a salad for lunch in the shop, thus prolonging my unfortunate presence on the tarmac even further. But it was ok cos the queue was massive (on account they'd all been held up by some twunt doing three-point turns on the forecourt).

OP posts:

ImTooHecsyForYourParty · 08/04/2013 14:23

Nah. you performed a public health service.

It is clinically proven that laughter lowers blood pressure, increases oxygenation of the blood and vascular blood flow, exercises the diaphragm and abdominal, respiratory, facial, leg, and back muscles, and relieves stress and anxiety.

Just think of all the people you helped today.

you're a star. Truly you are.


Bowlersarm · 08/04/2013 14:24

Grin at least you were attempting to do the correct thing.

It took me ages to pluck up the courage to try and stretch the hose thing over to the wrong side. Biggest relief of my life (only slightly exaggerated) when it actually worked. Now I feel very smug when I queue jump to the one free pump no one is using.


LRDtheFeministDragon · 08/04/2013 14:24

lady - why? Not that I don't salute your right to froth over it, but I don't see the annoyance?

My mum trained me early - she'd grab the ticket and whack her arm out sideways so you had to grab it pronto. If you weren't very quick you got a faceful of arm and ticket.

It did save her putting it in her mouth though.

OP posts:

LadyMountbatten · 08/04/2013 14:25

i dont know LRD it is BEYOND logic.


LRDtheFeministDragon · 08/04/2013 14:25

Oh, hecsy.

Too kind.

You're lying to me because you know I am a local laughingstock, aren't you?

OP posts:

Blessyou · 08/04/2013 14:25

The only time I tried to stretch the hose over my Ford Fiesta, assured by mumsnet this was how it was done
A it didn't reach
B the attendant instructed me over the tannoy to wait for an available pump on the appropriate side


ImTooHecsyForYourParty · 08/04/2013 14:25



LadyMountbatten · 08/04/2013 14:26

You know that theory of the picture on your fuel gauge shows what side the hole is on?>
Doenst work on a C4 Picasso


LadyMountbatten · 08/04/2013 14:26

They always bloody reach! I have never had one not reach


LRDtheFeministDragon · 08/04/2013 14:26

Grin Thanks.

lady - erm, is this the point where I admit my spatial senses are only marginally more evolved than an amoeba?

OP posts:

ExitPursuedByABear · 08/04/2013 14:26

I once failed to open the fuel tank on DH's car so got back in and drove away. The shame!


Buzzardbird · 08/04/2013 14:27

That story could only be bettered by you inserting the nozzle only to get 'splashback' all over the forecourt Grin


Blessyou · 08/04/2013 14:27

Not for me LadyMountbatten. It was a small car too.


XBenedict · 08/04/2013 14:27

They don't always reach Blush

Ha ha OP you've made my lunchtime bless you Grin


LadyMountbatten · 08/04/2013 14:29

thats odd. I must always choose LONG hoses Grin


LRDtheFeministDragon · 08/04/2013 14:29

exit - it wasn't a mazda was it? The first time I drove my mum's mazda I had to ask the bloke in the garage how it worked (it's a little lever by your foot in the driver's seat ... bizarre). However I was young and daft and didn't realize this wasn't normal ignorance.

buzzard - sorry, but no. I did get diesel on my hands but I rather like the smell so that was fine.

OP posts:
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