those idiots who block queues in the petrol station, why can't they be more like me?

[LRDtheFeministDragon]

I mean those idiots who sit in the longest queue, blocking everyone else in while half the pumps sit unused, because they refuse to do a little simple reversing or to drag the pump lead over to the other side of the car. I could almost pity them, poor fools.

So, I drove in, saw the only available pump was on the wrong side for me. No trouble, I thought smugly, niftily performing a three-point turn on the forecourt and parking up on the correct side.

Got out to discover that this car has the cap on the other side from my old petrol car. Which I did sort of know but, being an idiot, had forgotten.

Never mind, I thought, getting back in, if I just pull forward a few feet I'll be able to get the hose across the back to the wrong side. I pulled forward. I got out.

Opened the cap to find the handy 'diesel' reminder written on the underside. Bollocks. Now I'd moved my car away from the petrol leads they wouldn't reach.

Got back in. Performed another three-point turn. Got out and filled up from the correct side with the correct fuel, just several aeons minutes later than when I'd started. Tried not to look at other people pissing themselves.



(My AIBU, if the thread police are around, is your choice between the thread title and the more likely 'AIBU to think I am a total twit who lacks the intelligence to drive a car?')

[LRDtheFeministDragon]

Ah, fair enough ... I wondered if it were another Mazda. I like corollas. My mate has one that is ancient but still cheerful. They are good like that.

[Poledra]

"wouldn't fit in my hole"

[ChunkyPickle]

LRD - OK, you get let off (you sound like DP in a fish and chip shop - for some reason it just sends him to pieces, all very odd)

It's like so many other things, if only the vast majority of people would do it the easy (for them) way, then the few who don't wouldn't be a problem at all.

I once did fill up with diesel - 30l of it! Had to have it pumped out (if it had been less then I could have just topped up with petrol and had a coughing engine for a while, but I don't do things by halves it seems). For some reason I noticed that the nozzle was too big, but assumed that they (not me, oh no, not me) had made some mistake!

[HazeltheMcWitch]

It's a crappy Micra, ComposHat but it's not an old crappy Micra

[ChunkyPickle]

Gemma - YES! I had a hire car polo once - I had half the forecourt, and the hire people on the phone trying to figure out how we opened the petrol cap!

I seem to remember there was some button I had to press twice, and it wasn't neatly labelled with a petrol pump for some reason (which just about made sense once we'd figured it out)

[LRDtheFeministDragon]

I assure you, in a fish and chip shop I am the soul of professionalism!

But yes, I do see your point.

poledra - you and me both.

[haveapear]

That gave me a giggle, the twatiest thing I've done is fill our diesel car with petrol, realise and completely block a pump whilst waiting for AA to come and tow me away

[Bartlebee]

I tried to stretch the hose to the other side, once, in 1996.

It wouldn't stretch; I was humiliated.

I haven't tried since.

[LadyMountbatten]

i agree gemma re pay at pump

its the frigging same as paying in kiosk

[LRDtheFeministDragon]

Oh, that is my fear, havea. I keep worrying I've done it without noticing. You have my sympathy.

[ComposHat]

Hazel shucks - nowt wrong with a micra though, my first car was a Mk 1 Micra, it only lasted a few months in my tender care until it was joy ridden to death and dumped in Brum.

LRD it is built like a tank, I love the fact it is an old gimmer's car too. The fact it is Jeremy Clarkson's least favourite car makes me love it even more.

[ComposHat]

"wouldn't fit in my hole"

I made a high pitched strangulated Kenneth Williams noise. I fear this is turning into 'Carry on up the forum.'

[Owllady]

:o

[BoneyBackJefferson]

Reasons not to do the above

I have seen to many people get the nozzle stuck (especially now some cars have shaped pipes that prevent spit back), So I won't drive in with the pump on the wrong side.

The last time I saw someone reverse and try to pull in to the next empty line they where driven in to by the person making their way to the pump.
(It closed the petrol station)

[LRDtheFeministDragon]

Yeah ... I think my reasons are better TBH, they were more embarrassing and crap. At least if I got the nozzle stuck I could blame the car ...

[HazleNutt]

OK the story that the picture of the pump on your dashboard has a nozzle on the side where the cap is, is indeed a myth.

However, there is also a little arrow and this in fact does point to the side where the cap is.
like this: kryogenix.org/days/2013/01/21/fuel-pump-arrows
Go check.

[Hissy]

Oh I muttered and sneered and drove past a queue to an empty pump...

Only To realise it was premium Liquid gold with extra diamond dust diesel at £1.60 a litre, cost me a ruddy fortune that sniggering!

[LRDtheFeministDragon]

Oh, I've done that too.

You twit!

It is so annoying, isn't it?

[FarelyKnuts]

Very rude man in a red van blocked us in by parking sideways across the bottom of the pumps as we were trying to leave. My colleague politely asked him would he mind letting us out (which would have given him access to a free pump anyway). He rudely mutters "no, you can fucking wait I've been queuing for ages" and proceeds to get hose..
Hose won't reach.. We start sniggering loudly with windows open.. He gets back in his van and inches forward slightly as far as he can at the awkward angle he is parked at without driving onto the actual pump and gets out again.. Gets hose.. Still won't reach.. We COLLAPSE laughing.. He has to get back in the van and move out of my way, at which point I can barely drive for tears streaming down my face :o

[HeartsTrumpDiamonds]

LRD I told you it wasn't me! Honest!

I can never ever remember which side the tank is on. I have to open the door and twist around and look. Every time. Tis very annoying.

[BadabingBadabong]

The stupid hose doesn't reach in my local petrol station either. Don't put the twatting signs there if it doesn't reach!!

[LRDtheFeministDragon]

Nice try hearts.

I'm afraid I read your post and thought 'what sage advice ... I should just stop every time and look!'. Because that wouldn't annoy anyone. I'm beyond hope.

farley, that makes me quite happy. But he was actively rude! I was only mildly privately smug! Life is not fair.

[FarelyKnuts]

Just to stress that I was NOT comparing you to twatty red van man LRD
Just thought you might enjoy the story.

By the way do you know that autocorrect tries to change LRD to LORD :o

[tallulah]

The hose does not reach over my car. When it does, the nozzle thing won't go in. So I only use the pumps on my side. But I do Pay at Pump

[forbetterorworsted]

After telling my DH he was ridiculous waiting in a long queue when he could stretch the hose over, he pulled up to an empty pump and told me to fill up.

Well, there was no stretch. I pulled, expecting more hose. There was no more hose. I pulled so hard the pump slipped out of my hand. The hose also knocked out the diesel pump. I then had to fiddle with both hoses, got them back in, my hands covered with diesel.

DH pissed himself.