those idiots who block queues in the petrol station, why can't they be more like me?

[LRDtheFeministDragon]

I mean those idiots who sit in the longest queue, blocking everyone else in while half the pumps sit unused, because they refuse to do a little simple reversing or to drag the pump lead over to the other side of the car. I could almost pity them, poor fools.

So, I drove in, saw the only available pump was on the wrong side for me. No trouble, I thought smugly, niftily performing a three-point turn on the forecourt and parking up on the correct side.

Got out to discover that this car has the cap on the other side from my old petrol car. Which I did sort of know but, being an idiot, had forgotten.

Never mind, I thought, getting back in, if I just pull forward a few feet I'll be able to get the hose across the back to the wrong side. I pulled forward. I got out.

Opened the cap to find the handy 'diesel' reminder written on the underside. Bollocks. Now I'd moved my car away from the petrol leads they wouldn't reach.

Got back in. Performed another three-point turn. Got out and filled up from the correct side with the correct fuel, just several aeons minutes later than when I'd started. Tried not to look at other people pissing themselves.

(My AIBU, if the thread police are around, is your choice between the thread title and the more likely 'AIBU to think I am a total twit who lacks the intelligence to drive a car?')

I smugly queue jumped at the weekend in the confident knowledge that modern pumps stretch easily......except, it would appear, when your choice of car is a fuck off big Galaxy. Queue me going back and forth determined to get close enough and in the right position! I managed it eventually but I think I lost the smug upper hand in the process

My only saving grace was watching someone else with an even bigger car make exactly the same mistake as I was preparing to drive off. Oh, the joy of knowing I'm not the only plonker out there

I hate petrol pumps!

well they work at BP.
def

They always reach round my crew bus (7 seater monstrosity)

I did chortle, LRD.

No, it was a Mercedes saloon. There was a magic button somewhere but I couldn't for the life of me remember where. I was in my 40s and I am usually perfectly competent

Ooh, wow. I bet it was a lovely car though.

I am glad you're all amused.

YABU. I don't want to scratch my car with the hose.

Oh, Exit I hate it when car manufacturers try to be all clever and put in some nifty little gadget to make their car unique. I once moved a colleague's Saab in our company carpark. The had to phone her from the car to find out why I couldn't get the key back out again. Apparently, at that time, you had to put a Saab in reverse gear to get its ignition key out. Oh yes, very instinctive, that one. Specially when the car's facing upwards on a hill. Bastards.

PS the crew bus is a Galaxy too, Doyouthink. Obviously my garage has longer hoses than yours

Don't get me started on the time I changed the tyre on the merc and did £700 worth of damage as I used the original bolts not the spesh short ones for the crappy spare tyre. No one could understand why I had changed the tyre myself instead of calling Mercedes. In my defence DH had kept the car book at home to read up on his new motor so I was flying blind.

Poledra exactly the same thing happened to me. I finished an early shift and it was pissing down with rain. A guy I lived in the same nursing accommodation offered me his car to drive home as he was on a late. I drove home and then spent the next half an hour phoning round everyone I knew to see if they knew how to get the ignition key out of a bloody SAAB.

I usually sit in the queue ing to myself but Dragon that would have def entertained me Anyone that can create a bit of laughter in a queue must be pretty brill

YY, those clever details

I have never driven a very posh car for any length of time but I did get a courtesy car with the new one when it was being sorted out, and it had one of those fancy key-card things you put in. And its lights knew to come on when it was dark but not in the light. It was very disconcerting.

tom - sadly, I think there was a fair bit of irritation there, too.

I'm waiting for the thread 'AIBU to have raged at this incompetant woman, etc'.

our tesco petrol station warns you that the hoses have been shortened and wont stretch to the other side of the car.

They've shortened the hoses? Why, oh why?
STretching the hose across at the forecourt is the only time I'm glad I drive a tiny, crappy Micra.
Now I'll snootily 'queue jump' to the 'wrong side' and look like a twat when it wont stretch, wont I?

LRD - have a read of this thread. You won't feel like such a numpty afterwards

oh lrd you'd hate me. I still haven't got the knack if releasing the fuel catch feom the inside do often have to make three or four trips in and out the car before it pops.

Brilliant. I am in illustrious company.

Still feel a twit, though.

compos, I'm afraid I've also had to do similar.

What do you drive, then?

Hazel older Japanese cars tend ti have their fuel caps pn the other side to most European cars so the queue is often shorter, so tou should be okay.

I hate the people who don't pay at the pump.. if it's there, just put your card in and pay there - I just don't understand why you don't.

If you'd have reversed up to the pumps at my local garage you'd have been shouted at over the tannoy - they won't turn the pumps on until you've performed a little list of tasks (facing them, driver door closed etc.). They have short hoses too, so you wouldn't manage to pull it across unless you parked so close to the pump you couldn't get out.

lrd an extremely aged Toyota Corolla.

Oh ... ok, I have a serious answer here.

chunky, I don't pay at the pump because I can't manage the numbers or the screen. I'm not good with self-service checkouts or ATMs either. All of those things rely on you being good at reading digits into a machine and navigating a keypad where digits are arranged. Usually there is a time limit (though you probably won't have reason to know this as it's long!).

I don't use the pay-at-pump option because, trust me, it would take about three times longer, because I am useless. Sorry!

oh god you are me :o

I once tried to fill mine up with diesel from one of the lorry pumps not realising that the nozzle was bigger and wouldn't fit into my hole

I was so mortified I drove off and used another petrol station

.....or drive past everybody queueing up and go the 'pay at the pump' pump? who do people not like using these?

I once went to fill up DHs car, couldn't get the petrol cap off, nowhere to put key, cap wouldn't budge, looked for button on dash/in front somewhere, nothing.
Couldn't ring DH as he was abroad, asked man at next pump, he couldn't work it out, he asked another man at another pump... who rang his friend as he had same model car....(put key in ignition, turn once, unscrew cap)