She smacked my daughter... WWYD??

[Clumsyoaf]

In shock, just come home from a soft play place, went with some other mums that I have just started getting to know. DD (4 years old) being unruly - we are going through a phase at the moment, one of the other mums just picked her up and smacked her on her bottom. I was completely stunned - I would never hit a child my own or someone elses... DD in tears i just gathered up DS's stuff took DD and left.

I want to pick her up on it, or call the police or something..... sorry dont have anyone in RL i cant speak to right now so sorry for ranty message im just still stunned!

WWYD?????

OP, think you are doing the right thing by contacting the police. Your poor DD. And I can imagine how stunned and shocked you were so you didn't react at the time.

This woman needs a shock and to be taught that smacking someone else's child is most definitely not on. And as for any fall-out with the other mums - you're doing the right thing by your DD and to protect other children.

Bruises can go green straight away. I myself have a green bruise that's appeared from just being a red mark yesterday.

Concur, I've had a bruise go straight to green, if it wasn't a very bad hit.

(er not to suggest her bruise isn't bad. I just mean, I've noticed mine will only go green when I haven't hit myself very hard)

if she has bruised her then I do agree you should report it as well, as you have done
I think language used as smacked her bottom and the reality that it has bruised her are a bit different to how I pictured it

I'm sorry btw if I offended anyone earlier, I don't even smack my own children and would be aghast if anyone smacked mine, it just wouldn't be my first response to phone the police

I think the fact that the policeman/woman on theother end of 101 didn't just brush it off shows that OP has done the right thing.

Unfortunately it's probably going to be quite tough doing activites with this social group in the future - but that of course is secondary to protecting your DD andother vulnerable children that this woman comes into contact with. I wonder if she has form for this - how many other children in the group has she smacked? Not that you can ask, OP, just musing.

Hi OP

After a couple of questions about bruises I thought I'd look it up. I looked on a few websites and they all say the same thing really as this one below

kidshealth.org/teen/your_body/skin_stuff/bruises.html

I still think you should have the police over, bbecause really, if she can lose her temper like that in public with a child she barely knows, what is she doing behind closed doors? (And she might not be doing anything, but it's a concern) But I think you should have a read before deciding if the bruise is a result of the smacking.

Did they come around Clumsy?

Madame

Oh yes, that half-remembered smell wafts into my memory. Chip fat and poo.

Your boy OK my dear? DS1 is thriving

DS thriving at city. loving it. popular. becoming a wit. adored by teachers. top sets. Much more robust. Where did it all go right?? And so glad yours is too.

Madame

yes - I think they were just more suited to Secondary. More variety of children. Their quirkiness appreciated. I love DSs accounts of conversations he has - even the nicknames they give each other crack me up. He copes with the more unruly element pretty well

Sorry for hijack OP

last bit of hijack promise! is he at SN?

Good luck OP i hope your DD is doing Ok now xx

My word what a situation to be in.

I wouldn't advise calling the police. How interested do you think they will be? They can't do anything unless they know who did it and have either witnesses or CCTV. Do you know the other woman's name and address? Will the soft play people know who she is? And if they do, will they say?

Depending on the size of your community and how the incident was perceived by witnesses, it could be the start of a very tricky situation. You might - quite unfairly - end up being that difficult woman who... or, worse, that deranged woman who...

And when you say smacked, would most people perceive it as violence or as more a symbolic tap? I fear that involving the police might do you and DD more harm than good. Maybe the other woman has had some terrible crisis and the other mums will think you're an arse... Or she may be part of an extensive criminal family (sounds absurd but could be true round our way.)

Too many imponderables, and once you've called the police you can't uncall them, iyswim.

MD

Yah.

's O.K.

RTFT.

ah.

Your poor DD

It sounds like there were witnesses DnD many of whom were shocked at the incident and have contacted OP.

OP dont worry about your social group, id be a bit miffed tbh if they didnt defend me or DC. your childs welfare is more important.

CheCazzo - if you think OP is troll, report, don't hint.