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AIBU?

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Original poster

She smacked my daughter... WWYD??

744 replies

Clumsyoaf · 08/04/2013 12:53

In shock, just come home from a soft play place, went with some other mums that I have just started getting to know. DD (4 years old) being unruly - we are going through a phase at the moment, one of the other mums just picked her up and smacked her on her bottom. I was completely stunned - I would never hit a child my own or someone elses... DD in tears i just gathered up DS's stuff took DD and left.

I want to pick her up on it, or call the police or something..... sorry dont have anyone in RL i cant speak to right now so sorry for ranty message im just still stunned!

WWYD?????

OP posts:
Oblomov · 08/04/2013 17:34

I too wondered about what Owl said about talking to the other mum and expecting an apology.
Also, sometimes it is hard to know what to do, at the time. And we later regret not speakign up/ or regret reporting something. Or regret.... and then we might feel alienated in a group that we can no longer attend...... The mind boggles.
BUT, I just think that whent he Op commented on what the 101 caller had said to her, it all made sense that it was the right thing to do.

I hope.

Owllady · 08/04/2013 17:34

I suppose they are. I am just projecting because I always feel awful about it. She has tried to hit small children as well but I have always seen that coming iykwim.

ANYWAY this woman didn't have severe learning disabilities and challenging behaviour did she and I need to feck off Blush and stop being paranoid (it's half term i get a bit like this Confused)

CharlMascara · 08/04/2013 17:35

Oooh Clumsy poor you.

You never have any luck do you.

VivaLeBeaver · 08/04/2013 17:36

Clumsy, I had similar when another parent assaulted my dd and another girl in the playground. They were older, 11yo at the time.

I called the police who came round and talked to me. I did get the feeling to be honest the officer thought it was a waste of his time, Hmm

He asked me what I wanted done and I said I wanted him to go and warn her off as she'd also made threats and my dd was terrified. He did go and speak to her. He never mentioned assualt and never asked if I wanted to press charges. I didn't want to but thinkif I had wanted to I'd have had to have pushed for it.

Funny isn't it, if an adult hit another adult then no one would question them been charged with assault. But for a more vulnerable child you somehow feel you're making a fuss. Hope you're ok.

SneakyNinja · 08/04/2013 17:36

Clumsy How on earth do you manage to keep getting into these situations!? Confused

verytellytubby · 08/04/2013 17:37

Why on earth didn't you confront her at the softplay? She hit your child hard enough to leave a mark and she wet herself but you said nothing. I don't understand.

Owllady · 08/04/2013 17:37

as a practical recommendation to all parents out there, I would not under any circumstances take any children to a soft play place during a half term. It's the devils play pen of hell

Original poster
Clumsyoaf · 08/04/2013 17:38

I wish I knew, whatever it is I would stop doing it! I thought we were settling finally into a group!

OP posts:
JammySplodger · 08/04/2013 17:38

Glad you called them Clumsy. Give you dd a big hug, so child deserves that, not even a naughty one.

carabos · 08/04/2013 17:40

The most worrying thing about this is not so much that she hit the OP's child - that is horrific and action should be taken, but it's a one-off. As someone else said upthread, if she is on such a short fuse that she can hit someone else's child in public, what on earth does she do to her own behind closed doors?

IMO, for someone to be able to attack a child in public means they have already gone a long long way beyond that elsewhere. DH and I once saw a woman hit her own child (boy of about 7) with the full force of her outstretched arm across his face, in public at a sporting event. To me, that said that she must be literally beating seven shades of shit out of him at home and had zero self-control.

Very frightening indeed. I would be making exactly that point to all the other mothers in the group at every opportunity until she was completely ostracised.

outtolunchagain · 08/04/2013 17:41

Verytelly I suspect that the OP was in shock. I am not sure that I would have been able to say something in similar circumstances , I suspect with a hysterical wet 4 year old and the shock of what had just happened I would have just wanted to escape .

MadamFolly · 08/04/2013 17:43

Good that they are coming round, I hope she gets an almighty bollocking from them, she may even get a caution.

TidyDancer · 08/04/2013 17:46

I am stunned at this, and I think you did the right thing calling the police. As I'm sure has been said somewhere, if she behaves like that in public, it is worrying what she is capable of when people can't see her.

Hope your DD is okay.

OnceUponAThyme · 08/04/2013 17:48

I'd be fucking furious. she hit your dd hard enough to leave a mark and it sounds like it's bruising?
I'd definitely be pushing this as far as I could with the police.

Fleecyslippers · 08/04/2013 17:49

My estranged husband has a police caution for hitting my eldest child and leaving a mark. You are doing the right thing. Vile bully.

flaminhoopsaloolah · 08/04/2013 17:53

It's turning into a bruise now?! She managed to bruise her through clothes....how bloody hard did she hit her? Ws it with the palm of her hand because, and I'm no expert, I would think with the palm of the hand, the impact being over a greater surface area thus distributing the force, would have to be very high to cause a bruise. Bloody hell. Your poor DD. Im very glad ou called the police and they're coming around.

TumbleWeeds · 08/04/2013 17:58

The mark is turning into a bruise!?!
Now if there was any doubt before, it is clear you need the police involved.

Well done to keep so calm. Hope the visit from the Police will turn out to be helpful too.

AllThatGlistens · 08/04/2013 18:01

Bloody hell it's bruising? So glad you called 101 OP, you def did the right thing, and please don't respond to any msgs!

Hope your poor DD is ok Sad

TumbleWeeds · 08/04/2013 18:01

Oh and I remove my commens earlier. Whatever your dd's behaviour, there is NO WAY that hitting a child that hard canbe acceptable. Even if your dd had been very difficult to manage.

Don't question yoursel and your parenting too much. This is not what all this is about.

Nerfmother · 08/04/2013 18:04

Hi clumsy. Are you absolutely sure the bruise (if its green) is from this morning? Don't they usually go black and purple first and then fade to green? (I'm not an expert, just mother of 3 small boys!) And surely it would be a massive smack to bruise a bottom? (Lots of flesh, not much bone).
Just suggesting you dble check before you speak to the pcso so you don't detract from what actually did happen?
I am not an expert, like I said, and happy to be corrected by more knowledgeable posters.

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie · 08/04/2013 18:19

No Nerf...different people react differently.

mumofweeboys · 08/04/2013 18:27

Are these other mums military wives too?

Nerfmother · 08/04/2013 18:29

Thanks neo - just thought that was worth mentioning.

Floggingmolly · 08/04/2013 18:30

Bruises don't go straight to green Hmm

MadameDefarge · 08/04/2013 18:30

Glad you called the police. outrageous.

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