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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To mention to my neighbour about her bed banging against the wall

50 replies

cuteboots · 08/04/2013 09:07

Ok so the loud music every night has now stopped and is being replaced by rampant shagging action. I find it really hard not to burst out laughing when I see her out in the garden and being honest last night I was so tempted to start shouting " come on son you can do it just hurry up and get it over and done with". Its probably made a bit worse by the fact that Im going though the sahara at the mo but the bed banging against the wall is just really annoying and combined with her wailing like some mad woman ! Any feedback / ideas would you ignore and just try not to laugh when you see her

OP posts:

HollyBerryBush · 08/04/2013 09:09

How about "Have your tried bananas for your cramp? I heard you screaming last night and they are full of zinc"

middleeasternpromise · 08/04/2013 09:16

wait till they are nodding off post coital then leap up on yr bed taking the position of a surf boarder, ensure liberal return bed banging with appropriate wailing. Ensure you go on 5 mins longer than her performance just to make your point.

Original poster

cuteboots · 08/04/2013 09:19

ha ha ha ! Im laughing so much I nearly spat my cup of tea out. Its just so funny as she doesnt look like a screamer! Its always the ones you least expect aye! ha ha ha

OP posts:

wonderingsoul · 08/04/2013 09:23

i say do middlee's idea.. BUT at the same time... see if she has a competitive side

cozietoesie · 08/04/2013 09:27

It should only last another couple of weeks - then it will be back to Saturday night after the pub.

I'd just ignore and try not to laugh for the short time you have to put up with it.

Original poster

cuteboots · 08/04/2013 09:29

I may give it a spin as as they reach that crucial moment I will shout "wipeout" in a very loud voice ! Thankfully I didnt see her this morning as I would have died laughing! ; 0 )

OP posts:

Titsalinabumsquash · 08/04/2013 09:30

Shout scores after they're finished... Or in a childish mortal combat style shout "FINISH HER" near the end

Pregnantandhorny · 08/04/2013 09:35

Best response I ever heard to this situation was a friend of mine who had a similar issue. We were round her place one night when next door started having really load sex. We tried to ignore it until the woman next door cried out "Oh yes, I'm going to cum" at which point my friend yelled out, "No, wait, please, I'm not quite there yet." Apparently they were much quieter after that! My friend wasn't in a position of having to talk to them over the garden fence though...

OrganixAddict · 08/04/2013 09:38

My dsis & partner were woken one night by the sound of spanking being greatly enjoyed by the couple next door. It made them laugh like drains which obviously dampened the mood next door cos it stopped. The house also went on the market within a fortnight

Mawgatron · 08/04/2013 10:05

We have this regularly- spanking, loud groaning, 'go on gel' in gruff cockney accent. It's great! All they ever hear from us is the odd barney...

MagratOfStolat · 08/04/2013 10:53

HAHAHAHAHA

thread of the day award

Loving PregnantAndHornys comment. I am DYING.

Cailinsalach · 08/04/2013 10:54

My friend had neighbours a bit like this. They used to hear them every Saturday night, her favoured crie de guerre was "fuck me big boy, fuck me hard"
She suggested that they discreetly mention it to them but her DP said if a couple can't have a bit on a Saturday night in peace etc etc. Incidentally, their sex was preceded by loud banging of taxi cab doors, loud music for an hour or so, loud conversation and shrieking laughter then further loud banging of taxi cab doors as their guests left, then , er just loud banging....)
After 2 years my friends had a party and their neighbours promptly called the police to complain about the noise. My friend took great pleasure in informing her neighbour (very publically) all that they could hear every Saturday.
Funnily enough, their Saturdays were a lot quieter after that....

dondon33 · 08/04/2013 11:39

I'd wait until they were finished - post coital ciggy/cuddle when all goes quite....get up close to the wall and start whooping and clapping shouting bravo, good job, well done.
Or I'd just confront her in a jokey way ' any chance you can have a bit of a swap around in your bedroom love, your headboard's a pain in the arse, thank you kindly'

Original poster

cuteboots · 08/04/2013 12:11

Im sure if I mentioned it she would be mortified or maybe not?. Its a bit odd though as its the first time Ive heard them getting Jiggy and maybe she has moved her bedroom around hence the headboard banging! I just wont be able to look her in the face without wanting to laugh and say " God did you leave your dog shut in the bedroom last night when you were out, He was really howling" HEE HEE HEE

OP posts:

slug · 08/04/2013 12:20

I had neighbours who liked noisy sex. Unfortunately they both worked shifts so frequently it kicked off around 3am.

My favoured tactic was to start doing the vacuuming the minute the headboard started banging. It drowned them out and cleaned the place at the same time. When I got really annoyed, I would put on some particularly shouty opera and point the speakers at the wall.

Loulybelle · 08/04/2013 12:27

Wait until the right moment they are climaxing and shout:

GERONIMO!!!!!!!

See how that goes down.

HenrySugar · 08/04/2013 12:29

I have this with the couple in the flat next door. I swear my head is only a foot from them through the wall. Sometimes they do it at night and again in the morning ! It's particularly awkward when DH is away and ds gets into bed with me then asks what the noise is. I've found that a well-timed "ahem" quietens them down for a bit.

BiscuitMillionaire · 08/04/2013 12:40

Change your wifi network name to 'Wishthepeopleinnumberxwouldshagmorequietly'

quoteunquote · 08/04/2013 12:41

Just choose a piece of music, (plenty of suitable tracks available)

And each and every time play it for the duration of their activity, once they realise they have a theme tune, they will be careful not to be heard.

So what theme tune would suit your neighbours?

Original poster

cuteboots · 08/04/2013 13:14

BiscuitMillionaire- There are a few I could list

I dont see nothing wrong with a little bump and grind (R Kelly)
I could make your bedrock (Lil Wayne)
I like em big I like em chunky (Madagascar 2")

OP posts:

MagratOfStolat · 08/04/2013 16:00

I am dying at the thought of you playing "Big and Chunk" at them. Don a pair of shades and wiggle your hips and sing that every time they walk past for a week afterwards. Fucking marvellous!

Sunnywithshowers · 08/04/2013 16:11

Queen - Don't Stop Me Now!

Wasp - Fuck Like a Beast

HoHoHoNoYouDont · 08/04/2013 16:13

Brilliant thread

Binkyridesagain · 08/04/2013 16:28

Play the Countdown clock tune through the wall and see if he can peak before the Ding

DesperatelySeekingSedatives · 08/04/2013 16:52

A friend of mine had this with a house mate being a noisy fucker (so to speak) this girl must have known everyone could here her and her man at it. Really when she bellowed "ARE YOU WITH ME BABY ARE YOU?!" as she was coming it seemed only natural for everyone else to scream back "yes we are but we wish you'd piss off!" That girl moved out not long after.

My mum's old neighbours used to be noisy sods too. They terrified my then 2 year old DD one night she slept in the bedroom next to theirs. I take a little pleasure in the fact the toddler's crying and screaming that the monster shouting they were "coming" (ahem) seemed to put them off their stride for the rest of the night at least....

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