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AIBU?

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Original poster

To get pissed off at children running around in restaurants?

999 replies

CelticPixie · 07/04/2013 20:29

We went out for lunch today and there was a large group sat behind us. It was obviously a family celebration with parents, grandparents, kids etc. A little boy from the group who must have been around two was running around our part of the restaurant screaming and shouting and getting under the feet of waiting staff carrying hot food etc. He also kept approaching people at other tables and kept asking them if they were having their dinner and what they were having. At no point did his parents do anything to stop him and they just kept on smiling at him, but it was obvious that he was getting on everyone else's nerves.

Its a family friendly place and there were lots of other small children in there but he was the only one running about and being a nuisance. I will NOT allow my DDs to run about and disrupt others people's meals and it pisses me off that other people have so little consideration for anyone but themselves. If mine wants to go to the loo one of us takes them, if they are bored we take them out to the play area. It's really not hard is it?

OP posts:
Catsize · 09/04/2013 09:37

mrsmelons, should clarify that 'smug' was a reference to slightly judgmental postings further up.

Latara · 09/04/2013 09:48

I see some parents blatantly ignoring their children when they are out, including in restaurants / cafes - the child will be chatting away & their parent just ignores them.

So it's not surprising that the child starts wandering off... eg. there was a tiny toddler in Starbucks & her mum wasn't even bothered that people were tripping over her with hot drinks.

Catsize you sound like a good mum - you try to get your son to behave and you obviously engage with him.

I just get cross with people who don't seem to care much for their children's company, and / or don't care if they annoy others or get in dangerous situations.

LaQueen · 09/04/2013 09:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

hairtearing · 09/04/2013 10:03

There's a big difference between a child between 1-3 who is bored and a child who is screaming, running around tables.

When my dc did want to roam it was to machines, play area they had absolutely no interest in other people.

To balance it though I find tables of loud raucous adults who like to drop the sh & f bomb on a sunday afternoon just as annoying if not more, but these people would probably be the first to complain about children not seeing the irony.

MrsMelons · 09/04/2013 10:04

LaQueen I had a toddler come over to us in a restaurant and start going through my bag and taking stuff out. The parents just laughed and never actually called her back. Very weird!

MintyyAeroEgg · 09/04/2013 10:07

If you cannot persuade your toddler not to run around in a restaurant then don't go out to eat. It is just not on, for all the reasons patiently explained on this thread, to let them run riot or disturb other people.

LaQueen · 09/04/2013 10:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HazleNutt · 09/04/2013 10:12

I live abroad and it's totally acceptable to take your dogs to restaurants here (and not just the handbag ones). But the dogs are expected to stay quiet and under the table. If your dog is unable to do that, you don't take it. If people would let them roam around, sniff people and steal food from the table, because that's what dogs do, I'm sure the current practice would soon change.

So whenever I read complaints here that UK restaurants are not child friendly and everybody eats out with their kids on the continent - well, there might just be a connection between the adoring 'but that's what toddlers do' parents and this.

hairtearing · 09/04/2013 10:15

Glad to hear it Queen, I get the impression some people on this thread would condone that higher than a curious child.

It sometime appears that adult bad behaviour is more accepted than childhood curiosity.

YouTheCat · 09/04/2013 10:22

There's a huge difference between those trying to keep a kid entertained and those who just don't give a crap. If a parent is clearly trying to deal with their child then fine.

And if your child is bored why not take them somewhere that has things for a child to do? It is a huge thing to ask a small kid to sit at a table for a long time with nothing to do. Or take them to places where the service is quite quick so they aren't waiting forever for their food.

kelb6180 · 09/04/2013 10:27

I work In a bar/restaurant and I see it all the time, parents not really keeping there child under control.

When I was a child, we behaved when in such places and if we misbehaved, cried etc we were taken outside and spoken to... If it continued we just left.

It's not like this nowadays and some parents don't seem to care about what people think around them. They let there children do as they please and on a sense ignore there children. It's not the child's fault, its the parents, the child is obviously bored and there parents haven't taught there child how to behave.

In a situation like this you have 3 choices, 1) approach the parents and tell them 2) speak to the manager on duty and explain the situation or 3) get on with it.

arabesque · 09/04/2013 11:33

I think restaurant managers need to play a role here, to be honest. They're happy to take your money but then expect you to put up with children tearing around, a baby crying its lungs out or, and I have seen this happen, a gang of noisy kids put sitting at a table next to a group of strangers while the adults go off and sit at another table by themselves.
Surely, in these situations, the manager should step in and not leave it to customers to either put up or have to deal with the situation themselves?

jenduck · 09/04/2013 11:38

YANBU. We went out yesterday to Pizza Express, for DS2's 2nd birthday. DS1 is 4.4. Both sat nicely throughout the meal (although I took each to the toilet/for a nappy change once). That's not to say that DS2 didn't get a bit squawky at times, but when he did he was quickly distracted (spent a fair amount of time wiping the table with a baby wipe as I hadn't any toys with me Grin). Both DSes enjoy eating out as a treat, and understand to some extent that if they don't behave when out, they won't go out with us.

Floggingmolly · 09/04/2013 11:48

You'd think so, arabesque, wouldn't you? Sometimes they just refuse to get involved, though. We were at a place once where a couple produced a potty for their toddler right in the middle of the restaurant.
The child eventually jumped off (running off to vroom vroom his cars along other people's tables Hmm), and they left the steaming pot of piss just sitting there in the aisle.
I complained to the manager, who seemed really embarrassed at the prospect of having a word with them, and attempted to mollify us with "never mind, I expect they'll be leaving soon, can I get you a drink on the house" Hmm

YouTheCat · 09/04/2013 11:53

Ew Flogging!

I think the correct response there would be to go to their table, pull down trousers and squat, with appropriate noises. Grin

I mean okay, it was just a wee but what if the kid had done a steaming pile of poo? Would they have just left that as well?

And now I really want to go out food.

SauvignonBlanche · 09/04/2013 12:00

"but I do not expect him to act like an adult and sit still if it is ok for him to wonder about (usually is in local pizza express)"

It's not 'ok' for young children to wander about any restaurant that serves hot food or drinks unaccompanied. I'm assuming nobody would like a lasagne or cappuccino to land on their child' head?
It's very difficult for waiting staff to see things below knee level.

propertyNIGHTmareBEFOREXMAS · 09/04/2013 12:01

Yanbu. If you can't stop your child repeatedly going over to diners and accosting them at their tables then stick to McDonalds Drive Through.

Sirzy · 09/04/2013 12:04

What was wrong with the toilets in the restaurant?

I would have been tempted to 'accidentally' knock it over then the parents and staff would have seen what the problem was!

SauvignonBlanche · 09/04/2013 12:04
Grin
exoticfruits · 09/04/2013 12:08

The huge problem with it that it is all supposed to be done to suit the mother who wants people to smile indulgently and not touch. What I would like to do is pick up the toddler and amuse them, but I can just imagine the fuss made by the mother if I dared do it! It is very frustrating to see parents not coping and yet you are supposed to quietly put up with it.

vladthedisorganised · 09/04/2013 12:09

One of the complications is that if you're fairly strict about these things, then having other kids running about is seen as a signal to yours that it's OK.
I suffer a lot with this with my DD. "Oh good, that older kid is running up and down like a maniac, I'll join in!!!"

Actually I hate it when people 'helpfully' suggest that a meal out with DD would be lovely and relaxing (glares at SIL) if we're going to be indoors. Outside is OK where running around is possible, but generally it means that everyone else has a lovely relaxing meal while I frantically try to keep DD entertained. Some day she'll be content with colouring in for hours while the adults linger over their lunches, just not now. Baby steps and all that..

exoticfruits · 09/04/2013 12:09

Parenting is hard work-it is difficult to get them to sit still-it doesn't mean that you just give up and let them get down. If you do that then you stay with them and take them out of the way for a walk.

FreudiansSlipper · 09/04/2013 12:11

well the staff never complain because where he has wondered about is not an area where there are customers I would not let him wonder over to others and bother them

I agree if children are annoying others getting in the way it is for parents to say something and for staff to make sure all customers are kept happy but when you have a restaurant/cafe that is mainly used by parents with children and has a more relaxed atmosphere and they are happy making money that way then why would you go there expecting children to be seated and quiet at all times

I have never had anyone complain about ds I am lucky he is laid back and easy to take out but he is also so used to going to restaurants and cafes he knows that he can not play there like he would at a park

I went to the cinema the other week Saturday morning could I concentrate on the film not not really too many children chatting and fidgeting but I'd not not expect anything different

SauvignonBlanche · 09/04/2013 12:11

Well said exotic, it's not rocket science is it?

hairtearing · 09/04/2013 12:13

Baby crying is a uncontrollable noise, Its annoying yes but not bad behaviour.

I'm shocked by all these tales of toddler bugging peoples tables, had mine escaped he wants to head straight to the play area.

Also people seem to be talking about toddlers mainly here, which as its not okay to let them run about obviously have a lower attention span and will get bored easily and some places take bloody ages to serve.
What about older noisy kids, teens they annoy me more.