To get pissed off at children running around in restaurants?

[CelticPixie]

We went out for lunch today and there was a large group sat behind us. It was obviously a family celebration with parents, grandparents, kids etc. A little boy from the group who must have been around two was running around our part of the restaurant screaming and shouting and getting under the feet of waiting staff carrying hot food etc. He also kept approaching people at other tables and kept asking them if they were having their dinner and what they were having. At no point did his parents do anything to stop him and they just kept on smiling at him, but it was obvious that he was getting on everyone else's nerves.

Its a family friendly place and there were lots of other small children in there but he was the only one running about and being a nuisance. I will NOT allow my DDs to run about and disrupt others people's meals and it pisses me off that other people have so little consideration for anyone but themselves. If mine wants to go to the loo one of us takes them, if they are bored we take them out to the play area. It's really not hard is it?

But if you can't control your babies crying you take them out. You don't sit in a restaurant while you baby/toddler/child screams and cries distracting everyone.

My kids (even my ds who is at the non-verbal end of the autistic spectrum) knew how to behave in a pub/restaurant. I do think it's important to consider what a place is like before you take kids there. Some places are better suited to families.

Dd certainly knows how to behave (teenager) and has never annoyed anyone in a restaurant - though she is plenty annoying at home.

My sisters wedding last year, there were 7 kids under 5, two were the bride and grooms kids, 4 belong to 2 of the bridesmaids and the other to the brides friend.

I was amazed at how well behaved the kids were, during dinner you wouldnt have even know they were there.

Its reasonable to expect parents to keep some control over their children, mainly for their safety, a restaurant is not a playground, dont know why parents assume so.

tricky one - but then it was a child friendly place - that's why I tend to avoid them... :)

but parents should control their kids...always a bad sign if they're unable to...

I know baby crying is uncontrollable but that doesn't mean the parent cannot pick the baby up and take them outside somewhere to calm down. It is very unfair to expect other diners to listen to this while eating a meal they have paid for and expect to enjoy.

Yes, of course other people in restaurants can be annoying as well (shouting into mobile phones, getting drunk and raucous etc)and there have been other threads about this. But saying its okay to let your baby/toddler annoy other customers because some adults also behave badly in restaurants does not make sense.

True you should try and calm them but I don't think a distressed baby is comparable to bad behaviour.

I would think poor love dealing with that crying all day, rather than 'they are obviously bad parents'

I was sat next to a table once and this I'd say young toddler was screaming and I mean screaming for hours, I wanted to give the poor kid a dummy and/or a hug. It was like 7.30 I think he needed to be in bed.

YANBU.
Everyone struggles sometimes to get their young kids to sit nicely in a restaurant, but just allowing them to run around because you can't be bothered to deal with their behaviour or take them outside is really bad, unpleasant for other diners, unsafe, and difficult for those who make it a rule for their own children that they are not allowed to get down from the table.

If my DC see other children running around, then obviously they want to as well, and it's much harder to then explain to them that they can't.

If my DC leave the table during a meal at home, that's it, meal over. They know that, and even the 20 month old tends to stay seated until she's finished. I have the same rule in restaurants - you can visit the loo, but otherwise you must remain at the table at all times. DD2 tends to switch between her chair and adult laps once she starts getting bored, but she knows she can't get down. If she really can't sit still any longer then we'll take her outside.

All children misbehave sometimes, the key thing is that the adults with them should at least try to respond appropriately.

You can bet those adults who don't behave well in restaurants were allowed to roam freely in them as kids

Erm, at no point did I say a child running around is okay,

What I mean is I think some people focus on that when I think there are bigger annoyances in restaurants.

Freud I don't understand. You let your son wander around in areas of restaurants where there are no customers? Like the staff room? I find that very concerning.

OP - i too worked in restaurants while at uni (even pizza express and we didnt allow children to run around) and it drove me nuts how parents
Didnt supervise their children. Now i am the mean mommy who doesnt let her children run around when we can clearly see others doing it.

My son who is 5 has severe sn. We stop him from wandering about by taking him outside or strapping him into his sn buggy. He is noisy though and although we try to limit this as much as possible, he still makes noises and bangs on things. He doesn't understand what being quiet is. Now that he is older and is quite obviously disabled, people tend to be tolerant (apart from staring) but a couple of years ago we used to get tuts and disapproving looks.

I totally agree with OP except I would have no annoyance with the child and purely with the adults who were ignoring the child.

In the past I have been known to gently say to child chatting at our table "well it has been lovely to meet you but go back to Mummy and Daddy so I can eat my dinner" and repeated the last bit gently over and over slightly louder each time so that the point would get across.

I do have 2 kids who I can take anywhere. and this is not by accident it is by design. we have never expected more of them than is reasonable. knowing that they used to get fidgety often we would order then DH or I would take the kids outside for a wander until the meal had arrived.

I also clearly remember an elderly relative telling me that the best lesson I can teach my children is to cope with boredom, as alot of life is boring.

Hairtearing

No one has said that someone who's baby is crying in a restaurant is a bad parent. But someone who just sits there and does nothing about it is an inconsiderate parent. Even if they've had a bad day, that does not excuse them ruining other people's meals. A lot of those customers have paid babysitters to take care of their children, or are celebrating a special occasion, or are going to great lengths to ensure their children do not disturb other customers, or may have had a bad day themselves and are now trying to relax and get over it. They should not have to eat their meal to the backdrop of someone else's baby screaming.

Yes in the staff room my ds loves it in there and the kitchen too

a quiet corner he may wander around my table and one next to me if others are not around. Like I said in previous post when it is ok to meaning not getting in the way of others

the restaurants we tend to go to and just off to are fine with this and children on the whole are well behaved some even have a little reading/toys corner

I agree all I said like I posted above, I come across plenty of adult/teen a bad behaviour and people seem less irritated by that then children essentially being children. Which to me doesn't make sense.

I think as well if you are in a 'child friendly' place you have to have slightly more flexible standards than in a 'posh resturant' if you don't like kids avoid them.

As much as you can't expect people to constantly suffer your children in their face at dinner time and wandering around peoples tables etc , I don't expect my children to sit in silence and suffer their intolerance.

Plus the people in charge have a lot too answer for, like I said before, everywhere you turn is a sweet, toy machine or something else to that affect and to a hungry, hyperactive child its like honey to a bee and just makes everything more difficult for a parent.

And some kids ARE more laid back than others, a lot of smug parent are just parents of easy kids.

Nobody's saying children should sit in silence. I agree that gangs of obstreperous teenagers oblivious to everyone else in the restaurant, or an office party shouting and roaring so the people at the adjacent tables can't have a proper conversation are really really annoying and just as bad as parents who sit there letting their child scream, shout, tear around or constantly interrupt other diners. But this thread is about inconsiderate parents so that is why people are discussing children being annoying in restaurants and not other scenarios.

hairtearing, trust me I am not a parent of an easy child..
getting him to the age of 9 has so far been physically and mentally crippling, however, it is my JOB to give him skills that will help him through life.

Are you a smug parent though? NeverKnowinglyUnderstood its often those who are 'just say no' when it doesn't always work.

I suppose I was just explaining I think we live sometimes in a very child intolerant world where adult bad behaviour is more accepted, which is sad.

Children should not be wandering away from their table. I don't see why this is even an issue. If they are too young or unable to sit still, get a babysitter. Does it ever occur to parents that people are just being polite in engaging with the child? It has never happened to me but I would be furious if a child walked up to my table and started yacking away.

I'm afraid I am one of those parents who have left toddler to have a little cry in restaurant.

Toddler is SN and does not understand appropriate behaviour, I am often tired, we only go out occasionally and always to parent friendly places and never after 4pm.

I'm afraid sometimes I don't care what others think, I will take DD out if she is over the top in restaurant but I don't see why I have to miss the meal I have paid for if she has been crying for a couple of minutes or banging her highchair.

Some may disagree but that's just life.

dropdeaddivalover that is bang out of order - to disturb a whole restaurant. But hey, as long as you get your meal eh?