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AIBU?

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Original poster

To get pissed off at children running around in restaurants?

999 replies

CelticPixie · 07/04/2013 20:29

We went out for lunch today and there was a large group sat behind us. It was obviously a family celebration with parents, grandparents, kids etc. A little boy from the group who must have been around two was running around our part of the restaurant screaming and shouting and getting under the feet of waiting staff carrying hot food etc. He also kept approaching people at other tables and kept asking them if they were having their dinner and what they were having. At no point did his parents do anything to stop him and they just kept on smiling at him, but it was obvious that he was getting on everyone else's nerves.

Its a family friendly place and there were lots of other small children in there but he was the only one running about and being a nuisance. I will NOT allow my DDs to run about and disrupt others people's meals and it pisses me off that other people have so little consideration for anyone but themselves. If mine wants to go to the loo one of us takes them, if they are bored we take them out to the play area. It's really not hard is it?

OP posts:
notnowbernard · 07/04/2013 22:15

I spose I'll just be wondering whether next time I'm out with mine and DS decides to get bored/fed up/ restless/ noisy or suddenly starts displaying behaviour characteristic of a 2.6 yr old if the folk around are inwardly eye-rolling or tutting at my terrible patenting/lax attitude and proclaiming that I shouldn't be in a 'nice' cafe/restaurant

YouTheCat · 07/04/2013 22:15

Most people will know exactly how you feel though. We've all been there.

It's how you handle things that matters.

TomArchersSausage · 07/04/2013 22:15

I agree with 5eggs and have similarly entertained/distracted all mine when they were young and we've eaten out.

However that level of supervision requires some effort.

ATouchOfStuffing · 07/04/2013 22:16

Notnow I think most parents are secretly worried about that in restaurants anyway, which is why threads like this get so much footfall.

GreenEggsAndNichts · 07/04/2013 22:21

I barely want my own toddler in the restaurant, thanks. TBF to him, he does listen, he does sit his bottom on the chair when told (though sometimes needs reminding, especially if some other children are running around.) But it's constant vigilance for me until his food arrives, so not always the most fun experience.

I'll be honest, if I don't have him with me and I'm out, I am very good at ignoring other peoples' children. If I give it any thought at all, I empathise with them. But if they are occasionally loud, or doing something they shouldn't be? It's just the sweet sound of someone else's problem to me. I give them a sympathetic look and lose myself in conversation with whomever I'm with, or the paper I'm reading, or whatever.

freddiefrog · 07/04/2013 22:25

YANBU

We were out with some friends for dinner on Friday night. Local pub so not posh-posh but not a Brewer's Fayre soft play-type place either

We've always made our kids sit properly at the table but our friends' kids were a nightmare. Running around screaming, crawling under other peoples' tables, running behind the bar, etc.

It was so embarrassing, and trying to explain to my 2 why they were absolutely not allowed to join in was not fun

The waitress ended up telling us that if the kids didn't behave we'd have to leave.

We ended up cutting the meal short and beating a retreat, vowing never to eat somewhere like that with those friends or show our faces in the local ever again

Alisvolatpropiis · 07/04/2013 22:27

YANBU.

I like seeing children enjoying meals with their family in a restuarant, assuming the parents are teaching them how to behave properly at the same time. Sadly many parents let their little darling run amok.

5eggstremelychocaletymadeggs · 07/04/2013 22:28

Yes it requires effort but imeit pays off and four boys aged 5-13 are all capable of sitting nicely through a meal even a three course posh meal out. Dd is only 27mths and so it requires more effort to keep her happy but we time it so she wrong be tired, take toys etc. Choose somewhere suitable so we can take her outside if necessary.

5eggstremelychocaletymadeggs · 07/04/2013 22:29

Ime it pays off.

Time it so she won't be tired...

DontSHOUTTTTTT · 07/04/2013 22:30

YANBU
I find it really irritating. It's lazy parenting. I don't like it in coffee shops or on planes either.

.....and what's with the number if kids being allowed to ride their scooters INSIDE shops?? I saw this on three separate occasions in the last few days Confused.

YouTheCat · 07/04/2013 22:38

Don't get me started on scooters in shops.

I don't give a fuck if precious little Gerald is tired, scooters are for parks not Sainsburys.

landofsoapandglory · 07/04/2013 22:40

YANBU

I don't like it when other people's DC run around in restaurants, neither do I like it when they interrupt my meal.

My DC never did it, they didn't run around during a meal time at home, so it never occurred to them to do it when we were out.

fluffyraggies · 07/04/2013 23:05

YANBU

It really is doing your child no favors to let them 'be cute' in situations like this ... ie making random chit chat, wandering round the restaurant exploring etc.

I'd be willing to bet that 90% of people aren't thinking it's cute, they're hoping the child will go elsewhere.

And by the time your child is 10/15/20, and still thinking they are the center of the universe and can behave how they fancy, because that's what you've taught them, you can bet that practically 100% of people they meet are now wishing they would go elsewhere.

Letting a child interact uninvited with strangers is not teaching a child social skills.

Sirzy · 07/04/2013 23:25

Yanbu. DS is 3 and he knows he stays sat at the table, or sometimes he plays quietly under the table. If he gets too noisy he is asked to stop or i take him outside.

Children need to be taught what is acceptable behaviour and disrupting other diners and getting under staffs feet isn't acceptable.

Earlybird · 07/04/2013 23:42

karatekimmi - that is awful, but I suppose this issue is fairly commonplace. Obviously as another poster said, some people are incredibly precious about their dc, and take offense at any suggestion that the little darlings are less than angelic or that their behaviour might require some adjustment in order to be considerate of others.

I went out for an early meal on Friday night at a casual Italian (a step or two up from Pizza Express). I was looking forward to not having to cook, to relaxing and chatting, and having a glass of wine. I inwardly rolled my eyes when we were sat next to a family with 3ds - all of whom looked to be under the age of 6. One of the boys could not sit still, and finished his meal sitting under the table. The smallest banged a spoon on the china plate - vastly entertained by the sound - for the entire meal. The parents were oblivious - or so exhausted that they didn't care. It was not a relaxing or enjoyable evening meal - though did improve when the family departed.

Cantbelieveitsnotbutter · 07/04/2013 23:44

Yanbu its very dangerous as well as annoying. Take things to entertain, take turns in taking them outside. Not to mention it also makes it harder to control your own child when there's others running about. The only way children learn appropriate behaviour is by going to these places, but obviously they need to be told what's appropriate and what's not

larlemucker · 08/04/2013 00:12

I was at a cafe a few weeks ago with a friend and our DCs, both 2.5 months in car seats.
We are both breast feeding so went upstairs where it was quiet. 3 toddlers were up there playing in the corner (no parents in sight) and they would not leave us alone. Kept coming over to babies, one lent on the material canopy of my DSs car seat and nearly fell on him. We moved to the next room to get some privacy so I could feed DS but they followed us. In the end my friend had to ask them to leave the babies alone as they were trying to touch them.
These kids were also messing around going up and down the stairs while customers and staff were walking to tables with hit drinks and food.
Surely it is common sense to keep your child under control in that situation?

So you ANBU

YouTheCat · 08/04/2013 00:17

Well, I'm still waiting for the contingent that thinks the OP is unreasonable. They always pop up on these threads and remind everyone that children are welcomed with open arms in other countries.

boxoftricks · 08/04/2013 00:25

I run a pub in London. It's a nice pub. There is a sign on the door, partly in jest, but true, that says "DOGS ON A LEAD AND WELL BEHAVED CHILDREN WELCOME" I am more than happy to take a child to the kitchen window so they can see the chefs at work, give them extra crayons. I tell parents not to fuss about any mess on the floor, I give veg sticks, bread sticks to kids as soon as they arrive, if parents say yes. Free of charge.
I have more than once seen a badly behaved child, that is having a tantrum, and the parents are struggling, and mixed up some oj, and cranberry, put it in a 'special glass' and given to said child, with a tone of, now, special drink, must sit so you don't spill it, now are you going to draw me a picture to put on our picture wall etc etc. relived parents.

I don't tolerate kids running around. There are hot plates qround, and i have enough to worry about on a sunday lunch service than trying to concentrate on not decapitating a small child with a roast dinner Grin

As a result, it is a popular pub! Kids are accommodated, not just tolerated, and its what makes parents come back!! You can tell, on their second and subsequent visits, the children behave much better.

5eggstremelychocaletymadeggs · 08/04/2013 00:37

Your pub sounds lovely boxoftricks :)

JaponicaTroggs · 08/04/2013 00:38

Me and DH were in a lovely restaurant in Paris recently and had the misfortune to be at a table next to another English couple with a child of around 6. He whined, swore, stood on the table and threw his food on the floor because he he didn't like it whilst the doting parents scanned the menu making suggestions as to what else he'd like and gazing adoringly at his cuteness. I felt sorry for the poor waiter who had to clear up the mess and embarrassed to be English.

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 08/04/2013 00:41

YANBU

My otherwise lovely friend lets her two run around in restaurants and it drives me mad. I actually won't go out for lunch with her when we've got all the DCs any longer because it is so embarrassing, and it makes it harder to control my two.

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 08/04/2013 00:46

Tigress it is nothing to do with him being a boy - don't use that as an excuse!

My boys are generally very well behaved in restaurants because that is what we have always expected of them - they are two and four. Friend's girls on the other hand who are allowed to create havoc...!

boxoftricks · 08/04/2013 00:49

Thanks 5eggs ! The children love it when you give them a menu, and ask THEM what they would like to drink, and eat (of course, checking that's they are allowed with the parents) I think we have a culture of ignoring children at the dinner table, certainly in the hospitality industry, and a lot of places seem to just tolerate kids on a hope that they will be seen and not heard. I'm a MASSIVE believer that children need to learn how to eat out properly, and interact with people they don't know personally, even if it is to say thank you for their dinner that has been placed in front of them, just like an adult would.
As a result, I like my job better, the kids get distracted, and are happy!! ..... And their parents stay longer, aren't in a rush to get the kids out, and buy more wine/desserts = more profit for ME!

Has anyone read 'French children don't throw food' ? Very fitting for this thread!!

MTSgroupie · 08/04/2013 00:58

The other day the toddler from the other side of the divide peaked his head over and we had a nice 5 min chat. He was telling me that it was his mum's birthday treat. It made for a nice lunch

I have no problems with a child coming to my table BUT I would definitely have a problem with that child running around the restaurant.