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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To get pissed off at children running around in restaurants?

999 replies

CelticPixie · 07/04/2013 20:29

We went out for lunch today and there was a large group sat behind us. It was obviously a family celebration with parents, grandparents, kids etc. A little boy from the group who must have been around two was running around our part of the restaurant screaming and shouting and getting under the feet of waiting staff carrying hot food etc. He also kept approaching people at other tables and kept asking them if they were having their dinner and what they were having. At no point did his parents do anything to stop him and they just kept on smiling at him, but it was obvious that he was getting on everyone else's nerves.

Its a family friendly place and there were lots of other small children in there but he was the only one running about and being a nuisance. I will NOT allow my DDs to run about and disrupt others people's meals and it pisses me off that other people have so little consideration for anyone but themselves. If mine wants to go to the loo one of us takes them, if they are bored we take them out to the play area. It's really not hard is it?

OP posts:

MsBella · 09/04/2013 15:02

My older children have grown up just fine.

CloudsAndTrees · 09/04/2013 15:02

Why shouldn't they get the treat they want though just because it is possible some people will be slightly annoyed

Open your mind a little and try looking at it from a different perspective.

Why should people be annoyed by your children, who would be perfectly fine at their table or elsewhere, just because you want your child to have the 'treat' of being in a restaurant?

PeaceandFUCKINGLove · 09/04/2013 15:03

"I do parent them, I'm a good mother. I am not lazy, I like them to enjoy themselves..."

You haven't got a clue. You are full of shit and you are setting your DCs up to be just like you, the poor sods.

Sirzy · 09/04/2013 15:03

Fanjo the vast majority of parents of children with special needs I know are very aware of how to control their child and will do all tthey can to ensure that they don't have problems and will do what needed to deal with things.

The problem isn't with behaviour of children, it is with responses of parents who think it is fine to let a child annoy other diners

5eggstremelychocaletymadeggs · 09/04/2013 15:04

Same here mine have all eaten out ftom being babies, we chose places that were appropriate and taught them.how to behave. I expect good table manners at home as well as out so it was just a continuation of what they were used to.

And yes get a babysitter, i leave little ones with dp if the elder ones want to do something the little ones cant. Dp took three of ours to the cinema on monday, dd is too little to sit through a film so she couldnt go and the film wasnt age appropriate for ds4 so he didnt go, thays life, we had a nice morning at the park and then made biscuits.

MsBella · 09/04/2013 15:04

Its not just me that wants it, clouds, if a child chooses to go to a restaurant for their birthday why should I refuse when I've told them they can choose

Sirzy · 09/04/2013 15:04

Control was the wrong word their! But I hope you know what I mean

MsBella · 09/04/2013 15:05

Well I personally do not use babysitters, my choice.

5eggstremelychocaletymadeggs · 09/04/2013 15:05

But maybe next time i should do what bella does and take the little ones anyway even if they dont behave?!! No i think i will carry on with my way of parenting, thanl god most others do the same!

arabesque · 09/04/2013 15:05

I didn't say you weren't allowed to post. I said the example wasn't a fair one. It was an extreme example of someone showing absolutely no tolerance in a queue in a fast food restaurant which is not the same as people getting annoyed at deliberate ignoring of children being disruptive in a restaurant.

dropdeaddivalover · 09/04/2013 15:06

Yes FanjoForTheMammaries not sure why I bothered to respond to this post. As a parent of a DD with invisible SN i know we are judged everywhere we go when DD does not act appropriately.

Thankfully she now had visible SN equipment and clothing so it is more obvious that she is disabled. But this does not stop people huffing and tutting at times

MsBella · 09/04/2013 15:07

Peaceandfuckinglove my children are not 'poor sods' and there's nothing wrong with me actually. I am a good mother

YouTheCat · 09/04/2013 15:07

I did a stint helping out as a dinner lady in nursery. I was actually quite shocked at how many 3/4 year olds were unable to sit at the table for 15/20 minutes and eat their food without banging cutlery and playing with their lunch.

LaQueen · 09/04/2013 15:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HazleNutt · 09/04/2013 15:07

I believe a toddler is too young for punishments
Jesus christ I DO parent them

So what exactly does this parenting mean in your dictionary, if you believe that toddlers are too young to have their dangerous or inappropriate behaviour corrected?

MsBella · 09/04/2013 15:08

I don't see how being sociable and exploring a little bit is bad behaviour.

TomArchersSausage · 09/04/2013 15:08

You older dc may have grown up just fine but how many times whilst they were growing up did they spoil someone's meal, treat, whatever because 'enjoying' themselves was top of the list?

It's not just about how a child feels about something, consideration for others is a factor too.

anklebitersmum · 09/04/2013 15:08

Bella you shouldn't refuse them a birthday treat. But you should refuse to allow them to encroach on other diners, be that by running around or by interupting them whilst they're trying to enjoy their meal.

brdgrl · 09/04/2013 15:09

dropdead, I think you described a very different situation - not because your child has SN, but because, as you described things, your DD's 'outburst' was short and isolated, and you were already dealing with it.

Also, the man who spoke to you about it was rude himself.

That's a very different scenario...most parents have had moments with a child acting up...and most people out there are fairly understanding when they see a parent dealing with the behaviour. Very very different from an attitude that kids should be permitted to act out and parents to do nothing about it, because of age or SN or simply - like bella suggests - because the kids are having fun.

dropdeaddivalover · 09/04/2013 15:10

arabesque it was not an extreme example it happened on a Saturday during lunch time. And it was real so what is extreme about it???

Unfortunately I would imagine it has happened to others with SN DC before.

We often can see a visible shift in people wherever we go when DD starts to kick off so I am afraid whilst u think that is extreme I cant honestly say I was shocked.

5eggstremelychocaletymadeggs · 09/04/2013 15:10

I have to say fanjo and dropdead one thing mnet has done is give me an awareness of sn and i certainly now think perhaps thats why a child is behaving in what could be seen as 'naughty' and if a parent is obviously trying to deal with it then if anything i give them a sympathetic look and i have offered to help incases i can ie if i have a toy or snack that may calm a child or even to hold a baby whilst they deal with an older sibling or finish their drink etc.

LaQueen · 09/04/2013 15:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

5eggstremelychocaletymadeggs · 09/04/2013 15:11

bella being sociable and exploring is not necessarily 'bad' behaviour but its not appropriate for a restaraunt and its dangerous to let them wander around!!

MsBella · 09/04/2013 15:12

You don't seem to understand, the birthday treat is for older well behaved dcs and I'm saying why should they be punished when they're behaving perfectly and younger dc is the 1 wandering and chatting

PeaceandFUCKINGLove · 09/04/2013 15:12

From now on I am never being polite about badly behaved children in restuarants again. I will be complaining to the staff and asking the children to stop disturbing our meal.

If I get lucky, I might end up eating in the same restuarant as MsBella, her kids could use some guidance on how to behave, because they get none from their mother.

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