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Original poster

To get pissed off at children running around in restaurants?

999 replies

CelticPixie · 07/04/2013 20:29

We went out for lunch today and there was a large group sat behind us. It was obviously a family celebration with parents, grandparents, kids etc. A little boy from the group who must have been around two was running around our part of the restaurant screaming and shouting and getting under the feet of waiting staff carrying hot food etc. He also kept approaching people at other tables and kept asking them if they were having their dinner and what they were having. At no point did his parents do anything to stop him and they just kept on smiling at him, but it was obvious that he was getting on everyone else's nerves.

Its a family friendly place and there were lots of other small children in there but he was the only one running about and being a nuisance. I will NOT allow my DDs to run about and disrupt others people's meals and it pisses me off that other people have so little consideration for anyone but themselves. If mine wants to go to the loo one of us takes them, if they are bored we take them out to the play area. It's really not hard is it?

OP posts:
TomArchersSausage · 09/04/2013 14:52

Bella What if your dc's treat is ruined because someone else barges all over it doing as they please?

Still ok then for everyone to do what they like?

5eggstremelychocaletymadeggs · 09/04/2013 14:53

sirzy its far better to start as you mean to go on in an age appropriate manner ime!

When they are little ie under two pick somewhere child friendly, with an outdoor play area if you can ie pub/carvery so you can take them.outside if necessary. Certainly my dd who is 27mths can manage a meal out with small toys and a walk outside if she gets really restless but generally you need to keep them engagrd and entertained, it tequires effort yes but so does being a parent!

PeaceandFUCKINGLove · 09/04/2013 14:53

"Why shouldn't they get the treat they want though just because it is possible some people will be slightly annoyed"

Your children will have to learn that if you can't behave, you can't do everything that you want to. You need to reinforce this now whilst they are little.

Other people manage it. The problem isn't with them or with your DCs, its with YOU. You need to stop being so ineffectual and start parenting properly when they are in a restuarant setting.

MrsMelons · 09/04/2013 14:53

Its not punishing Bella its just teaching them decent manners.

If they are under 2 then they can be in a highchair and after that they are more than old enough to understand about sitting properly for dinner.

I have taken DS1 to various weddings and silver service type meals under the age of 2 and he has behaved brilliantly. The waiters and other guests fussed over him as he was so well behaved.

DS2 on the other hand would not have been as good under 2 in such a formal environment (not really space to take colouring or toys etc) but always behaved well enough in normal restaurants when we could give him games and toys to play with to occupy him. I don't feel that he was punished by us not taking him to those sorts of places as a toddler but it was considerate to others and also easier for us as we want stress free meals like everyone else.

If children do not learn good manners and how to amuse themselves early on they will grow up to think everything is about them and expect to be fully entertained and stimulated at all times!

propertyNIGHTmareBEFOREXMAS · 09/04/2013 14:54

Bella. McDonalds is the most appropriate dining setting for your parenting style. It is with sadness for your children that I say that.

arabesque · 09/04/2013 14:55

dropdead

I think that's a rather unfair example to give. There is a big difference between that and people being understandably annoyed if they're sitting in a restaurant trying to enjoy a meal and some child is running around bothering them or screaming and crying for the duration of their meal.

sparkle12mar08 · 09/04/2013 14:56

La Q - MsBella won't feel at all uncomfortable. She'll be one of those parents that thinks the other diner is entirely in the wrong!

MsBella - it's quite possible your children will grow up to be ill mannered adults who also don't know how to behave in a restaurant if you can't be bothered to teach them. They could well lose friends and show themselves up in the workplace etc if you can't be bothered to teach them manners.

5eggstremelychocaletymadeggs · 09/04/2013 14:56

anklebiters same here!!

Part of being a family bella means sometimes a child doesnt get their own way, when one of mine misbehaves so all of them have to leave that chikd gets an appropriate punishment and i make sure the chikdrdn that were behaving get a treat etc to make up for missing out through no fault if their own.

MsBella · 09/04/2013 14:56

Jesus christ I DO parent them!!!!!!!!!!!!

MsBella · 09/04/2013 14:57

Can people stop 'explaining' how being a family works and what its like to me a mum I mean ffs I think I know these things

sparkle12mar08 · 09/04/2013 14:57

It doesn't look like it from you've written here though, that's the point.

If the younger ones can't behave then get a baby sitter and leave them at home. Simple.

brdgrl · 09/04/2013 14:57

But we are talking about very young children ffs...

OK. Look. The child's age does not matter. Why? Because the issue is not the child, it is the other people around you. I really don't think you are understanding that.

When my DD was a newborn, I took her all sorts of places - restaurants, work functions, parties. She slept. If she woke up and she cried, I dealt with it. If she could not be immediately soothed, I took her away from the other people.

Now DD is almost three. In her lifetime, I've taken her out of restaurants, a kids' matinee, our own living room when we had guests, play areas, shops...Have I missed out on things? Of course. This past weekend, I went to a lovely meal with visiting family, and had to miss my pudding while I took her for a 'time out' - because frankly, two and a half hours in a restaurant with a bunch of adult relatives who wanted to talk and talk and talk was more than she could manage - which I understand and which I was mentally and logistically prepared for in advance.

But the reward? Other people like having us around, and like having DD around. I'm confident that Waitresses don't hate us. Strangers smile and tell me how nicely my kids are behaving. And best of all, I do get to relax and enjoy myself, because for most of that two and a half hours, my DD is doing fine because she knows what is expected of her and has had practice at it.

(And we have a 15 year old and an 18 year old as well. It's not just toddlers who need to behave themselves.)

dropdeaddivalover · 09/04/2013 14:57

mrsmelons I would not take my DD to theatre and would enquire of the parent that left theirs to climb around and disrupt you.

Plus we are talking about restaurants and not theatres which I consider a totally different thing altogether!

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 09/04/2013 14:58

I bet loads of parents of kids with invisible SN are feeling really crappy about this thread, knowing how much judging goes on.

It's all very well to say "at least they are trying" but it's still pretty daunting going to a cafe

MsBella · 09/04/2013 14:58

Sparkle HOW DARE YOU.. my older dcs grew up just fine thank you very much.

Sirzy · 09/04/2013 14:58

I agree 5eggs. DS is 3 now and can go out for a meal happily now and knows how to behave. We have been going since he was tiny so he has grown up knowing how to behave in restaurants. Like any child he tries to push his luck but he doesn't get away with it!

PeaceandFUCKINGLove · 09/04/2013 14:59

"Jesus christ I DO parent them!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Grow up.

Letting you DCs do as they please in restuarants isn't parenting, its sitting lazily on your backside doing nothing whilst your DCs spoil other people's meals.

MsBella · 09/04/2013 15:00

sparkle I never have and doubt I ever will get a babysitter, what a ridiculous thing to say

You're judgemental.

5eggstremelychocaletymadeggs · 09/04/2013 15:00

Well you clearly dont bella as you think its ok for them.to wander round in restaraunts, its rude, annoying but more importantlu its dangerous!

MrsMelons · 09/04/2013 15:00

anklebiters we try to enforce the same here, it irritates me when we have others for tea who just get up and down from the table etc.

If a friend says oh they are fine I just say no they're not as in our house we sit up till everyone has finished. TBH most people are fine with that as they are too embarrassed to cause a fuss and are respectful of how people do things differently, the same way I would respect other peoples house rules ie only eating in certain rooms, tidying up toys etc.

I am actually quite laid back with DCs but manners are one thing I don't think should be compromised.

MsBella · 09/04/2013 15:00

I do parent them, I'm a good mother. I am not lazy, I like them to enjoy themselves...

insanityscratching · 09/04/2013 15:00

Same here anklebiters and 5eggs. It's not rocket science to teach your child how to behave at the table it just requires effort on a parents' part.It's giving your child skills that will make their lives far easier as they get older surely.

dropdeaddivalover · 09/04/2013 15:01

arabesque why?

In both examples we were in a restaurant and other posters are discussing crying children so not sure of why I am not allowed to post?

LaQueen · 09/04/2013 15:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

anklebitersmum · 09/04/2013 15:02

Fanjo if you are being seen to parent, SN or not, even if it's not working out then I would have no judgement. Sympathy at your plight, yes.