To get pissed off at children running around in restaurants?

[CelticPixie]

We went out for lunch today and there was a large group sat behind us. It was obviously a family celebration with parents, grandparents, kids etc. A little boy from the group who must have been around two was running around our part of the restaurant screaming and shouting and getting under the feet of waiting staff carrying hot food etc. He also kept approaching people at other tables and kept asking them if they were having their dinner and what they were having. At no point did his parents do anything to stop him and they just kept on smiling at him, but it was obvious that he was getting on everyone else's nerves.

Its a family friendly place and there were lots of other small children in there but he was the only one running about and being a nuisance. I will NOT allow my DDs to run about and disrupt others people's meals and it pisses me off that other people have so little consideration for anyone but themselves. If mine wants to go to the loo one of us takes them, if they are bored we take them out to the play area. It's really not hard is it?

I never let them get far so I don't think its dangerous personally

I do understand bella and i already explained what i would do in that situation. Its unfortunate but i would make it up to the birthday child if we had to leave because little siblings were not managing.

I don't guide my children on how to behave? Well yes I do peaceandfuckinglove

dropdead It is an extreme example in that the average diner would not behave like that. I'm not disputing that it happened, I just don't think it can be used as an example of the typical kind of attitude parents with children have to put up with.

If they were more than an arms length away ie so you can grab them.then it wasnt safe. Restaurants expect their customers to be seated.

being sociable in a restaurant means sitting at the table with the people you are with talking. It doesnt mean walking up to other tables and forcing yourself upon them.

Its not just me that wants it, clouds, if a child chooses to go to a restaurant for their birthday why should I refuse when I've told them they can choose

Since when did children get to choose whatever they want whenever they want?

Perhaps you should stop telling them they can choose. Or start controlling your younger children.

It is possible to take toddlers to a restaurant and not let them annoy people you know. Only problem is, it requires you to make some actual effort.

No you don't, you let them have 'fun' in restuarants instead.

You don't seem to understand, the birthday treat is for older well behaved dcs and I'm saying why should they be punished when they're behaving perfectly and younger dc is the 1 wandering and chatting

You don't understand.

1. Why should other people be punished, be having their time out spoilt or diminished because you choose to let your younger child carry on? How is THAT fair?
2. You don't want to use babysitters. Fine. Then accept that you will not be able to go to some places until ALL of your children can reliably be counted upon to behave themselves. If that seems unfair or a bit hard on the older kids, that is a consequence of YOUR OWN CHOICES, and nobody else should be inconvenienced by your personal choice to not get a sitter/ take your kids out/have multiple kids/whatever.
3. Your kids do not matter to anyone else. Sorry, but that is the position you need to begin from. Other people are entitled to an evening out, to a bit of peace, to basis good manners. You're being an utter narcissist.

I do make 'actual effort' with my children

I'm NOT a bad mother and I'm not lazy.

For example some people think kids playing outside loudly is bad behaviour, its just interpretation I suppose

I never let them get far so I don't think its dangerous personally

Well Bella, as my Nan used to say "You know what thought did"

You have already been told that not going to a restaurant is not a punishment.

I moved to France at eighteen, on my first night we were at a lovely Italian restaurant and I almost had a heart attack when I saw a group of parents with about a dozen babies, toddlers and a couple of older children between them. I thought my meal was going to be ruined but I never heard anything from their table. The parents paid attention to and were attuned to the younger ones who were taken out at the first sign of restlessness, the older ones were happily eating and chatting like normal people as they were properly socialised. Families are welcome everywhere because proper parenting is the cultural norm.

There's no excuse for not taking a screaming baby or tantruming toddler out or for allowing your kid to run around disturbing other people. It's selfish, lazy, inconsiderate parenting.

These types are the first ones to scream about how child unfriendly we are compared to the continent completely oblivious to the fact that it is their bad parenting which is unwelcome. They'd be the first to complain about hot food or drink landing on their toddlers head, too stupid and self absorbed to realise that it was their fault for letting them run under the wait staffs feet. They think everyone's admiring their child, nobody is.

Nobody minds a child who's being a bit naughty or out of control when the parents are actively dealing with it. Most people become annoyed with parents who can't be arsed doing anything about it or smile proudly assuming we're all as entranced as they are.

yanbu.

How can I be judged on this 1 fucking thing as a bad mum and a narccisist

Oh for god's sake. It is not "just interpretation".
I really, really hope this is a wind-up.

Well actually a lot of people do love it when a dc talks to them, fact

Playing and wandering in restuarants is bad behaviour and doing nothing about it is bad parenting.

You keep saying you are a good mother, but I guarantee that everyone who has had the misfortune of dining with you and your badly behaved children thinks you are a bad mother.

5eggs is great..but what people MUST remember is even if people aren't making an obvious visible attempt to modify behaviour in a way that you would understand, if the child has SN, it doesn't mean the parents aren't doing loads..for example distraction works much better with my DD than saying "sit down and shut up" in a stern manner

Brdgrl yes it is... some people think kids playing loudly outside is bad behaviour when I think we would all agree its not so yes it is interpretation..

"I really, really hope this is a wind-up"

Me too. I didn't think it was possible to be for anyone to be so thick.

dropdead..yes, I know where you are coming from, I am almost glad when my DD makes loud noises making her disability clearer when we are out in public these days.

How would you feel if my hubby came over to your table and randomly started talking to you while you were sat with your kids trying to eat?

I'm sure you wouldn't mind-I mean he'd just be being sociable, right?

Peaceandfuckinglovw you don't know my children so you can't assume they're badly behaved.

Your entire argument is based on a narcissistic view of the world, in which you, and by extension your children, are the only consideration. Every post you have written further displays a degree of self-absorption and a complete inability to recognize the feelings and worth of other people. It's impressive.

So I'm 'thick' ffor having a different parenting style? Blah blah blah heard it all before.