Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

To get pissed off at children running around in restaurants?

999 replies

CelticPixie · 07/04/2013 20:29

We went out for lunch today and there was a large group sat behind us. It was obviously a family celebration with parents, grandparents, kids etc. A little boy from the group who must have been around two was running around our part of the restaurant screaming and shouting and getting under the feet of waiting staff carrying hot food etc. He also kept approaching people at other tables and kept asking them if they were having their dinner and what they were having. At no point did his parents do anything to stop him and they just kept on smiling at him, but it was obvious that he was getting on everyone else's nerves.

Its a family friendly place and there were lots of other small children in there but he was the only one running about and being a nuisance. I will NOT allow my DDs to run about and disrupt others people's meals and it pisses me off that other people have so little consideration for anyone but themselves. If mine wants to go to the loo one of us takes them, if they are bored we take them out to the play area. It's really not hard is it?

OP posts:
CloudsAndTrees · 09/04/2013 14:40

If an older dc wants the treat of a restaurant then you explain to them that you just can't provide that at the same time as entertaining their sibling.

Or you get a babysitter.

Or you let them choose from other treats that can accommodate younger ones.

Or, you make all your children stay at the table with you.

5eggstremelychocaletymadeggs · 09/04/2013 14:40

bella if your children want a bday treat at a restaraunt then they have to know that they need to sit and behave. If they dont they leave, its a treat not essential and they need to be able accordingly, if they dont they dont get the treat, simple.

MsBella · 09/04/2013 14:41

Arabesque, sometimes the older ones want a birthday treat in a restaurant should I refuse that? Ffs and cory what? Just because I have a different opinion?

brdgrl · 09/04/2013 14:41

ah - bella is just winding us up.

LaQueen · 09/04/2013 14:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MsBella · 09/04/2013 14:42

Seggs I said an older dc, one that does sit still etc. They shouldn't be punished because their younger sibling isn't sitting still.

cory · 09/04/2013 14:42

MsBella Tue 09-Apr-13 14:39:32
"Cory, my older ones have grown up just fine without learning self sacrifice etc. Getting on with people is another matter than this. Toddlers are too young to be being punished in my opinion."

Ah, punished by not being taken to a restaurant where they may put themselves and others at risk. 'tis a hard life.

Noone is saying you should punish them- just keep them under control. Do whatever you do at soft play if they snatch another child's toy or push them over. Or would that be interfering with their enjoyment too?

CloudsAndTrees · 09/04/2013 14:42

Really Bella, you need to take the hint. Other people do not want to be disturbed in any way, shape or form when they are in restaurants. You can either be a decent parent and ensure that that doesn't happen, or you can be self entitled, rude and annoying.

Would you really rather be seen as the latter?

HazleNutt · 09/04/2013 14:43

well yes, if you want the younger dc present and the older requests that you go to a place clearly not suitable for the younger, then you either get a babysitter or you don't go to that place.

MsBella · 09/04/2013 14:43

LaQueen I have done that! But we are talking about very young children ffs...

5eggstremelychocaletymadeggs · 09/04/2013 14:43

dropdead that man was an arse, i am sorry to have to deal with people lije that :(

And i agree with laqueen i have worked bloody hard teaching my five how to behave in a social setting when out. Its not easy, i think it helps that we all eat at the table togethrt ar home and good table manners and behaviour are expected at home as well, so i am not asking something new and unusual of them.

cory · 09/04/2013 14:44

Not getting exactly the birtday treat you want is not being punished, Bella. Surely, it would be a simple case of explaining to the older child that a meal in a restaurant isn't a good idea at the moment and come up with alternative plans for a fun treat.

My dc never had McDonald's birthdays because we couldn't afford them. It wasn't a punishment. Ds can't have the active holiday he'd like because of dd's disability. It's not a punishment. Not getting everything you fancy is not a punishment.

LaQueen · 09/04/2013 14:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MsBella · 09/04/2013 14:46

We do eat around the table at home.

Why should all my DCs, for example when an older one is enjoying a birthday meal be forced to stop and taken home upset? It makes no sense at all.

5eggstremelychocaletymadeggs · 09/04/2013 14:47

bella i have five from 13-2 yrs. If an elder child wants a treat i think isnt suitable for my little ones i arrange childcare or i plan to ensure it will be ok ie they arent going to be tired etc and if the trip had to be cut short i would make sure to do something else with the elder child.

Children of different ages need to learn they cant always do what they want. So when my elder ones wanted to do goape rhe little ones were told they were too little, and when ds4 had a soft play party the elder ones were told they were too old to go. Thats life and you have to manage expectations and behaviour.

MsBella · 09/04/2013 14:47

Cory we know that ffs, my words keep getting twisted. Why shouldn't they get the treat they want though just because it is possible some people will be slightly annoyed

Ridiculous

sparkle12mar08 · 09/04/2013 14:47

FFS, because that's what happens when they misbehave! Peer pressure has a big part to play. But clearly you don't believe that normal social rules should apply to you and yours. Good luck for the future, you're going to need it...

sparkle12mar08 · 09/04/2013 14:48

Sometimes I feel justified in judging, I really do...

5eggstremelychocaletymadeggs · 09/04/2013 14:49

laqueen agree infact even when in a highchair they can still be taught, dd is not allowed to bang cuttlery or throw food for example, when they did the cuttlery and food was removed.

Toddlers are quite bright, they need lots of reinforcement and positive oraise but they can learn.

Sirzy · 09/04/2013 14:49

So at what stage do you start punishing children?

Toddlers are more than old enough to begin to learn that they have to sit quietly? Nobody expects perfect behaviour but parents have to have boundaries in place.

If everyone had your "they are toddlers they can do as they please" attitude then places would simply ban young children from going!

MsBella · 09/04/2013 14:50

Sparkle 'good luck for the future you're going to need it' what could that mean then?

I believe a toddler is too young for punishments and being forced to fit into certain boxes, they'll get that when they're older unfortunately

LaQueen · 09/04/2013 14:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

anklebitersmum · 09/04/2013 14:51

Oh my word Shock

I genuinely wonder what people are all about now-a-days.Can I clarify what I'm reading here?

You are in a restaurant, having a meal and you can't have your children behave themselves and sit down for the duration of that meal??

I can only assume that you have taught them no table manners and allow them to roam during mealtimes at home too.

Outrageous, selfish, selfish behaviour on both yours and your childs part.

5 children, 3yrs-13yrs. They sit down for a meal in advance of the food hitting the table, are served either pre-plated or ask for what they would like from the spread. In company they ask if they may start. They eat their meal. With cutlery. Politely. No chomping. They may politely ask for seconds or even thirds and then they wait until everyone is finished before leaving the table, having asked permission. And that's at home.

MsBella · 09/04/2013 14:51

Sparkle NO, why should children who are behaving perfectly be punished for younger siblings behaviour?

LaQueen · 09/04/2013 14:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.