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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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To get pissed off at children running around in restaurants?

999 replies

CelticPixie · 07/04/2013 20:29

We went out for lunch today and there was a large group sat behind us. It was obviously a family celebration with parents, grandparents, kids etc. A little boy from the group who must have been around two was running around our part of the restaurant screaming and shouting and getting under the feet of waiting staff carrying hot food etc. He also kept approaching people at other tables and kept asking them if they were having their dinner and what they were having. At no point did his parents do anything to stop him and they just kept on smiling at him, but it was obvious that he was getting on everyone else's nerves.

Its a family friendly place and there were lots of other small children in there but he was the only one running about and being a nuisance. I will NOT allow my DDs to run about and disrupt others people's meals and it pisses me off that other people have so little consideration for anyone but themselves. If mine wants to go to the loo one of us takes them, if they are bored we take them out to the play area. It's really not hard is it?

OP posts:
arabesque · 09/04/2013 14:32

MsBella

I can understand someone shrugging and saying 'what can I do' if a child won't stop crying in a supermarket or on a bus or in some other place where a parent is by necessity.

But you choose to go to a restaurant and eating in a restaurant is a treat not a necessity or an entitlement. Therefore if your child can't be in a restaurant without wandering all over the place and annoying other people or making a lot of loud noise and disturbing other diners then, sorry, you shouldn't bring him there.

brdgrl · 09/04/2013 14:32

Stop all my dcs enjoying themselves at go home?

Now you've got it! YES.

5eggstremelychocaletymadeggs · 09/04/2013 14:32

I think children who have sn are to be treated differently in that i would assume their parents are trying to deal with their behaviour and a bit of noise etc is understandable.

But children wandering round in a restaraunt is not ok, its dangerous!

CloudsAndTrees · 09/04/2013 14:33

You could just not go to restaurants until your children are old enough to sit at a table? Try Mc Donald's instead?

Radical suggestions, I know!

MsBella · 09/04/2013 14:34

SERIOUSLY??!!!! Stop all my DCs enjoying themselves at march them all home and upset them all... its actually pretty upsetting that somebody wants that brdgrl
[Hmm]

insanityscratching · 09/04/2013 14:34

I would say if you can't manage all your children in the restaurant and they can't all meet a reasonable level of behaviour then yes you should take them home. I speak as a mum of five including the two with autism but then I don't expect others to find my children as interesting or entertaining as I might.

LaQueen · 09/04/2013 14:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MsBella · 09/04/2013 14:34

Clouds, what if an older dc wants a birthday treat not at mcdonalds or somewhere...

sparkle12mar08 · 09/04/2013 14:35

Ms Bella "What do people suggest I do then?
Stop all my dcs enjoying themselves at go home?

Yes, absolutely. It's shockingly bad manners to allow your children to disrupt other diners. It's your job to teach them and you're clearly failing to do it.

brdgrl · 09/04/2013 14:35

If your "parenting style" is rude and inconsiderate of other people, don't expect other people to just shrug and say "ah, well, every parent is different."

There are some basic expectations of being a well-mannered person. Exerting a reasonable degree of control over your children in public places is one of those.

TomArchersSausage · 09/04/2013 14:35

'Drag young dcs back to the table and restrain them tightly'

Sounds like a planGrin

brdgrl · 09/04/2013 14:36

...and yes. Seriously.

LaQueen · 09/04/2013 14:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MrsMelons · 09/04/2013 14:36

Clouds my friend does exactly that - Macdonalds or sometimes Nandos as they have booths which means the DCs can be more contained. She wouldn't want to have her meals out ruined by badly behaved children so in the same way she doesn't subject other people to her children being a bit unruly!

I am absolutely baffled by how selfish some people are!

cory · 09/04/2013 14:36

MsBella Tue 09-Apr-13 14:31:23
"Everyone has a different parenting style, cory..."

Everybody has a responsibility not to let their child put themselves or others at risk. A small child wandering around in a crowded restaurant is putting both itself and the waiter at risk.

As for stopping your children from enjoying themselves:

a) your children's enjoyment is not actually more important than anybody else's enjoyment

b) your children's future happiness does depend to a great extent on their ability to get on with other people. That includes the understanding of a).

You are having us on, aren't you Bella? Your later posts are becoming more and more tongue in cheek, non?

5eggstremelychocaletymadeggs · 09/04/2013 14:37

And yes other children.being allowed to wander round is a pita as mine want to join them anf i have to say no!

An example not in a restaraunt was at a graveyard when other children and some adults were clambering and climbing all over the headstones!! Not ok and i wouldnt allow mine to do this but i then had ro endure the whining if 'but they are' and that meant me having to say cut the whining or we will leave. It was a graveyard on top of a hill wherd people had congregated to watch the red arrows. a lovely event that should have bern enjoyable.

MsBella · 09/04/2013 14:37

I'm failing my job?? I'm a good mum ffs

arabesque · 09/04/2013 14:37

Clouds, what if an older dc wants a birthday treat not at mcdonalds or somewhere...

Well, MsBella, you see it's actually not all about you and your dcs. The bottom line is that you and your family do not have the right to disturb and annoy other diners in a restaurant. So you should be making all your decisions based on that very simple to understand foundation.

sparkle12mar08 · 09/04/2013 14:38

No you're not if you can't teach your children manners. It's your job.

brdgrl · 09/04/2013 14:38

Restraining them would be a good first step, but with many kids, that's going to bring on shouting. In which case, step 2 - remove them so that other people can get on with their business. And the kids can learn that if they act up, the outing is over.

cory · 09/04/2013 14:38

ok, just read last post, Bella. It was good while it lasted and you certainly had me drawn in. But not any more. Grin

motherinferior · 09/04/2013 14:39

I have quite enough of children at home, thank you. On the regrettably rare occasions when I go out without them, I really do not want to hang out with more of them.

Don't get me wrong - I love my kids dearly. It's just that I quite like not being with them too.

dropdeaddivalover · 09/04/2013 14:39

unfortunately we have been in a burger king before when DD kicked off as we were waiting 4 food. The man queued behind DH shouted 'cant u shut that child up' . She had screamed once at this point.

I was calming DD down when this happened so did not hear. DH explained DD was disabled and the man replied that 'he did not care'.

So unfortunately clouds and trees u cannot please all the people all the time :(

MsBella · 09/04/2013 14:39

Cory, my older ones have grown up just fine without learning self sacrifice etc. Getting on with people is another matter than this. Toddlers are too young to be being punished in my opinion.

MrsMelons · 09/04/2013 14:39

I have to agree with all the others - don't take them or teach them reasonable behaviour!

I have taken my DCs home from a toddler group before when they behaved badly and that is a place for children to run aronud etc but I do not expect them to behave badly or not do as they are told ANYWHERE. I even expect some level of decent behaviour in Macdonalds but as there are no plates or cutlery it does not deserve the same effort as a proper restaurant Grin

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