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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To get pissed off at children running around in restaurants?

999 replies

CelticPixie · 07/04/2013 20:29

We went out for lunch today and there was a large group sat behind us. It was obviously a family celebration with parents, grandparents, kids etc. A little boy from the group who must have been around two was running around our part of the restaurant screaming and shouting and getting under the feet of waiting staff carrying hot food etc. He also kept approaching people at other tables and kept asking them if they were having their dinner and what they were having. At no point did his parents do anything to stop him and they just kept on smiling at him, but it was obvious that he was getting on everyone else's nerves.

Its a family friendly place and there were lots of other small children in there but he was the only one running about and being a nuisance. I will NOT allow my DDs to run about and disrupt others people's meals and it pisses me off that other people have so little consideration for anyone but themselves. If mine wants to go to the loo one of us takes them, if they are bored we take them out to the play area. It's really not hard is it?

OP posts:

cory · 09/04/2013 14:11

MsBella Tue 09-Apr-13 14:06:35
"Surely people should make allowances for CHILDREN"

What kind of allowances? Not caring if you risk spilling hot coffee over their heads because they ran out in front of you in a crowded restaurant? Not caring if you drop an expensive meal and lose a customer because they didn't have the time to wait while it was cooked again?

And why is failing to keep your own children entertained not making allowances? Don't you enjoy talking to them?

YouTheCat · 09/04/2013 14:12

Fair enough, Arabesque.

cory · 09/04/2013 14:13

MsBella Tue 09-Apr-13 14:10:26
"Cory, some children are so excited to be somewhere like that that they aren't as interested in those things which I do every day at home."

Then you take them outside. Or keep something special for going out- a special game or a new story which you make up for the occasion.

It is not the waiter's problem.

MsBella · 09/04/2013 14:13

Jesus christ cory you're being ridiculous now!!! Of course I like talking to them, please read my previous post explaining.

arabesque · 09/04/2013 14:14

MsBella

Having read this thread and seeing that the vast, vast majority of posters do not like children wandering up to them in restaurants and interrupting their meal, or getting in the way of waiting staff, do you still insist it's okay for you to allow this type of behaviour from your child?

MsBella · 09/04/2013 14:14

Cory as I said, if someone is a single parent or is there without other adults then it would mean making all dcs stop and come outside, ridiculous

MintyyAeroEgg · 09/04/2013 14:18

Am utterly bemused by this thread! When you say that no one has ever complained about your dc going up to their table and chatting, Miss Bella, that doesn't mean they welcomed the intrusion. They were very probably just being polite, as many posts on this thread testify.

People do make allowances for children. There probably will be more noise and mess and more to-ing and fro-ing to the toilet in a family restaurant. But why should people make allowances for children running around? It is dangerous for a start! Do people really have to keep repeating this until it finally gets through?

MsBella · 09/04/2013 14:19

Do you really think while this is happening I'm not keeping an eye on them to make sure its not dangerous?

cory · 09/04/2013 14:19

Yes, but I still don't get why you are prepared to risk a dangerous situation (as explained before: hot foods, sharp objects, crowded spaces) because you are not prepared to come up with a plan for a new entertainment only kept for restaurants or take them outside- or even give up on the restaurants until your dc is old enough to cope.

So what would you say if there was an incident: say a waiter trips over your ds and falls on top of him with a heavy tray of hot food- would you still be ok with that, or would you blame the waiter?

MsBella · 09/04/2013 14:22

Cory I think its a bit wrong to even suggest that.

And a new plan for entertainment? Do you understand that all children are different and sometimes they want to explore a new place a little bit (within my view) and maybe be friendly to people they've never seen before

Sirzy · 09/04/2013 14:22

I worked in a cafe when I was a student. I was carrying a tray of empty dishes when a child ran infront of me I couldn't see the child - somehow I managed not to drop the tray onto the child but it could have been so nasty, even worse if I had been carrying hot drinks.

When in a cafe or restaurant children need to be sat down no ifs buts or maybes (unless they are accompanied by an adult who is controlling them)

cory · 09/04/2013 14:22

MsBella Tue 09-Apr-13 14:14:52
"Cory as I said, if someone is a single parent or is there without other adults then it would mean making all dcs stop and come outside, ridiculous"

I have done plenty of travelling alone with children: if you cannot get up and leave (for instance because you are in a plane or on a crowded coach), then you just have to work harder on entertaining them.

But when it comes to going to restaurants on your own with dc- why do you have to do it if you are really struggling that much? It's not compulsory: if the children don't like it and there is no other adult there, why even do it?

brdgrl · 09/04/2013 14:23

Cory as I said, if someone is a single parent or is there without other adults then it would mean making all dcs stop and come outside, ridiculous

No, it is ridiculous to think that your failure to supervise your kids should be permitted to become any one else's problem.

If you can't manage to look after your child or children properly in a restaurant (which means, yes, keeping them in a seat and relatively quiet), then you should not go. If you are a lone adult with multiple children, then yes - when one acts up, you all have to leave. (Actually, that helps kids learn to behave, believe it or not!)

Sirzy · 09/04/2013 14:23

If he wants to explore then you hold his hand and walk with him. Too leave a young child walking alone is an accident waiting to happen

MsBella · 09/04/2013 14:24

But the children do like it...?

angelos02 · 09/04/2013 14:25

YY cory If you are unable to control your children in restaurants, don't go to them. By the way, I can guarantee that no-one doesn't mind other people's children going up to them in a restaurant setting. Your kids are pissing people off if they do that.

cory · 09/04/2013 14:25

I know several ex-waitresses who have had accidents and near accidents in the course of their work: a restaurant is simply not a safe environment for a small child to explore.

Why do you think toddler groups do not allow anyone to carry hot drinks in the play area?

If your child knocked a cup of coffee over (and I have seen this happen), there is no way you'd get there quickly enough to avert an accident. And a hot drink does a surprising amount of damage on sensitive skin.

MrsMelons · 09/04/2013 14:26

Dropdead you have now explained that you don't just leave your toddler to disrupt so you are in fact one of the parents that do care about causing a disruption so therefore not one of the parents people are discussing on this thread!

I don't think people expect toddlers to be as quiet as adults or even older children but it is the running around and wild behaviour being allowed to happen most people object to.

This does not just go for restaurants, its anywhere really - I paid £60 for a theatre ticket and had to ensure a 2/3 year old crying and climbing around me at a show that was not for children at all. Is that ok also just because its hard to control toddlers or that she may have had SN. I really can't see the difference as its not actually a specific place for children either.

MsBella · 09/04/2013 14:26

Also why is it always 'if its annoying someone a bit it needs to stop NOW'

LaQueen · 09/04/2013 14:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

brdgrl · 09/04/2013 14:27

Do you understand that all children are different and sometimes they want to explore a new place a little bit (within my view) and maybe be friendly to people they've never seen before

Seriously? read that back to yourself. Do you really think the rest of the population is there to provide a stimulating environment for your children?
No. A restaurant is not a park to be "explored". Other patrons may well not be interested in your children's "friendly" interruptions. This is totally narcissistic behaviour on your part.

cory · 09/04/2013 14:28

"Cory as I said, if someone is a single parent or is there without other adults then it would mean making all dcs stop and come outside, ridiculous"

So how on earth do you discipline your children in a public place if you can't cope with this concept? Of course, everybody has to leave if there is one child that cannot be controlled. That's known as parenting. People who cannot cope with this would do well not to have more than one child.

MsBella · 09/04/2013 14:30

What do people suggest I do then?
Stop all my dcs enjoying themselves at go home?
Drag young dcs back to the table and restrain them tightly?

LaQueen · 09/04/2013 14:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MsBella · 09/04/2013 14:31

Everyone has a different parenting style, cory...

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