To get pissed off at children running around in restaurants?

[CelticPixie]

We went out for lunch today and there was a large group sat behind us. It was obviously a family celebration with parents, grandparents, kids etc. A little boy from the group who must have been around two was running around our part of the restaurant screaming and shouting and getting under the feet of waiting staff carrying hot food etc. He also kept approaching people at other tables and kept asking them if they were having their dinner and what they were having. At no point did his parents do anything to stop him and they just kept on smiling at him, but it was obvious that he was getting on everyone else's nerves.

Its a family friendly place and there were lots of other small children in there but he was the only one running about and being a nuisance. I will NOT allow my DDs to run about and disrupt others people's meals and it pisses me off that other people have so little consideration for anyone but themselves. If mine wants to go to the loo one of us takes them, if they are bored we take them out to the play area. It's really not hard is it?

What about all those other people who have paid for their meals? As long as you are ok though then thats fine.

Regardless of SN (of course sometimes there may be explanations for toddlers behaviour which is noones business) but that attitude is awful!

I often see parents out with DCs and they are expecting the child just to sit quietly and yet they are holding a conversation that is way over the DC's head and doesn't include them, or they are even on a mobile phone to someone else.
You do have to converse with them or play games like 'I Spy' to keep them engaged. You have to sit at the table at home and get them used to sitting at it until the meal is over. I think that it is perfectly possible to 'train' DCs (unless they have SN).
It is however easier to just say it is too difficult and let them roam. It is no surprise then that some establishments won't take children, and penalises those who would be fine, just because some parents won't take responsibility for their own DC's behaviour.

Everyone's paid for their meal dropdead. Other people in the restaurant may have had a hard day or be tired or whatever. If they used that as an excuse to get drunk and raucous and ruin your meal, how would you feel?

Its not out of order, what should she do put her dc in a box..? But then dc will still make noise

In my opinion, kids do sometimes make noise! That is how they are! I personally correct bad behaviour so if my dc was hitting their brother or sister then that would be a problem but wandering around a bit or chatting to someone? I fail to see a problem, I've always got my eye on them, nobodys ever complained. And yes sometimes young children do cry or have a little tantrum, personally I have more than 1 dc so I can't and won't pick the young 1 up and make all my family stop eating so we can go and sit outside until the tantrum stops...

It is natural toddler behaviour!

Tough luck about the attitude.

I never let my DD cry for longer than a couple of minutes and if she gets louder I take her outside or into the ladies room so she can calm down.

I never let her damage others property and if she is banging on her highchair I will always distract/ or place hands between her and chair.

If I did not go out when she MIGHT kick off then i would NEVER LEAVE THE HOUSE!!!!!

Sorry if a disabled child ruins your meal for a few minutes but life is hard enough without feeling that u cant leave the house because u might offend someone.

So I have developed a thick skin.

Plus unless u understand anything about severe learning difficulties or any SN then you should not disregard that toddler who may be acting up or the frazzled parents who don't jump up in reaction to it!

Its NOT about being lazy or a bad parent if my dc wants a little wander around the room and isn't harming anyone or anything I don't know what the problem is... I used to hate sitting still when I was young

I don't think a bit of noise for a few minutes whilst a tired parent shovels down a couple of mouthfuls of a meal whilst it's still warm is too much to ask.

A bit of compassion and understanding would be nice and it's not like just letting the kid run around which is dangerous.

Also I really don't think it only applies to SN DCs.

but wandering around a bit or chatting to someone? I fail to see a problem, I've always got my eye on them, nobodys ever complained

They are too polite!
I take it that you wouldn't mind me picking them up and telling them a story to keep them amused? I bet not. I bet I am supposed to behave the way that you want me to behave-smile indulgently and don't touch! It is the peculiar 'my child-my rules' which outside your own home is a complete myth!

I used to hate sitting still when I was young

And most likely your parents didn't make you-hence the problem.

These are the same people who probably let a baby cry or a toddler talk in a school play without taking them out immediately.

Hmm good point actually but surely kids have the right to do it just as adults do and you wouldn't pick an adult up/touch them

The harm, Bella, is that being short he could easily be overlooked by a waiter carrying something hot, and being young he doesn't have the experience to keep out of harm's way, so could easily cause an accident either to himself or others and will almost certainly make the work of the restaurant staff harder.

Let's face it, most restaurants are laid out on the assumption that customers will get in, get themselves seated and then sit down: there simply isn't the room for people to go on walks in a restaurant without inconveniencing both the staff and other guests. This is why toddler play areas and other places which are designed to have children running around tend not to allow hot drinks or hot food or sharp objects where the children are. But you could hardly have a "nothing hot or sharp" rule in a restaurant.

Walks - whether by adults or children- should be taken outside the restaurant. If that means adults have to take it in turns to accompany a child, then that's just a normal part of parenting. It's either that or keep them entertained at the table.

But we're not talking about that YoutheCat. We're talking about prolonged crying and screaming while the parents continue calmly with their meal, taking their time and being completely oblivious to the annoyed looks they're getting from other diners.

Wow exotic you're making assumptions

I don't like the idea of forcing a kid to stay still and be quiet, its not natural for all kids

Angelos wasn't. And I thought it was totally out of order.

"but surely kids have the right to do it just as adults do"

An adult customer who kept wandering around the restaurant getting in the way of the waiters and interrupting the conversations of other guests would almost certainly be asked to leave. And rightly so.

And actually neither were you.

Surely people should make allowances for CHILDREN

MsBella Tue 09-Apr-13 14:04:18
"Wow exotic you're making assumptions

I don't like the idea of forcing a kid to stay still and be quiet, its not natural for all kids"

You don't have to force them if you have planned it well ahead. Story telling, games, planning to start an interesting conversation just as you get to the boring bit, having a rota for taking them outside if they need a bit of a run.

It's hard work, but if you, the parent, don't do the hard work, it will be other people- most likely the already hard working waiters- who end up doing it.

"but surely kids have the right to do it just as adults do"

Since when have adults had the right to wander around restaurants getting in the way of staff, or to go up to random tables of strangers interrupting their conversation and making themselves the centre of attention.
I think they would find themselves pretty quickly being asked to sit down by management.
The only reason adults usually walk around a restaurant is if they're going to the loo or outside to answer their mobile. And because they're adults they know how to navigate their way across the room without tripping up staff or banging into the backs of people's chairs etc.

I understand dropdead that sometimes you just feel overwhelmed because having two children with autism (ds has severe autism) I have felt the same way quite often. I still don't think it is fair though that others should have their meals ruined though as a result.
Ds and dd behave impeccably when eating out but that didn't come easily and I have had to work hard at it. I have also had to acknowledge that on bad days and when ds was younger it wasn't possible, advisable or rational to take him out for a meal so I'd take him to run circuits at the local park instead.
Now he sits quite happily with the ipod and the earphones to cut out the background noise he finds difficult and when he was younger I had a bag of tricks and snacks that kept him amused but there were still days and still are days when I wouldn't take him out for dinner not just because of upsetting other diners but because it is highly stressful and upsetting for him.

but wandering around a bit or chatting to someone? I fail to see a problem

As has been already discussed in this thead:
a) other people might want to eat in peace and not entertain your DC.
b) waiters walking around with hot and heavy items are simply unable to see a wandering toddler.

If you don't want to force your kids to sit still, then it would make sense to wait with going to restaurants where people generally are expected to sit still and not wander around?

Cory, some children are so excited to be somewhere like that that they aren't as interested in those things which I do every day at home.

Yes I was YoutheCat. DropDead only clarified in a second post that she didn't allow the baby to cry for more than a couple of minutes before taking him out.