To ask you for a name for daughter's bits?

[lucamom]

Apologies in advance if this is inappropriate.

My two boys (6 & 4) are mildly obsessed with the fact that baby sister (1) doesn't have a dinkle. We deal with the anatomy explanations quite well I think until it comes time to 'name' her bits (appropriate to their age, but avoiding twee names like foo-foo/Twinkie etc)

I hate the 'v' word (rubbish I know-sister is a midwife who believes in using medical terms for everything!), and I think as a kid we used fanny, which I also hate.

So tell me, what do you/your daughter's call yours? Inspiration needed please.

Sorry if this is weird!

unknown if you were in the shop, say stood in the que and ur 4 year old said ''mum, my labia is itchy..'' how would u feel? For me personally it would be tmi for others around.

Thanks to everyone for replying-food for thought.

I fully understand why some are against teaching alternative words to kids (a pet hate if mine is baby-talk, we never use gee-gee/choo choo etc, always talked using proper names).

However, I think for very young children there is a level of appropriateness which means we can't be as free with our private parts as other parts of the body, and somehow it seems to de-sexualise them by giving them nicknames. Going to the toilet/having sex/giving birth are all completely natural but we do them as privately as possible, hence there is a difference with body parts used. I use boobs/dinkle etc as they somehow seem less offensive (if that's the word) from a child's mouth.

Think we'll go with front bottom (reminds me of when Daniel Craig was on graham norton recently, where they played a game to find your porn star name-childhood name for genitals plus grandmother's maiden name. My sister's porn name, therefore, would be frontbum Taylor!)

Why would it be tmi? Children come out with random shit all the time, lots of it you wouldn't, as an adult, say in public. Why is it that correct terms for genitals have special protection?

I just think it's sad that we feel that way about the proper names for female genitalia. Is it more embarrassing for a girl to say her vagina's itchy than for a boy to say his penis is sore? And if it is, why is it? I would argue that we're programmed to believe the words are rude or embarrassing. To the point where grown women will refer yo their minnie when talking to a doctor.

On a day-to-day basis it's girly bits/lady parts in our house, but we've recently had conversation about puberty/periods/sex and on those occasions I generally use the correct terminology.

There's room for both imho.

My younger DDs call it 'toot toot' No ida where that came from- and older ones call it their 'privates'
I like 'privates'
I am surprised so many people use 'Minnie'. There are quite a few little girls called that around this way.

DS has a "special purpose"

Proper names in our house. I don't call my foot my twinkle. Not sure why a different rule falls true for my vulva/vagina/breasts??

This^^ what MrRected said.

Proper names, we have always used proper names boys and girls,

never had a problem, and it is important.

proper names are required when interviewing children about abuse, so using proper names from the beginning helps protect children.

I find the silly names creepy.

I don't get the silly name thing. Like MrRected said, I don't teach DS to call other body parts by ridiculous titles.

I'm a single mum. DS sees me naked most days when getting dressed, and obviously, I see him naked when washing and dressing him. So he's asked about why I don't have a willy / what sanitary towels are for / what my 'milk' is really called. I've answered each question honestly. They're perfectly capable of understanding it.

And if a name of a body part being repeated by a child in public, you need a bit of a reality check.

'proper names are required when interviewing children about abuse, so using proper names from the beginning helps protect children. '

what non sense.I awas abused as a child and one of the first thing the police asked my mum were for the 'pet' names used to describe genitals

Besides we don't call other parts of our body by their medical names.It sounds utterly cringeworthy to hear a 3 yr old say 'vulva' or 'testicles'

No it doesn't sound "utterly cringeworthy", Bessy. I think it's utterly odd you feel this way. You are entitled to your opinion of course, but why on earth do you feel this way?! Are we to assume you have pet names for all body parts? If not, why not?

If anyone could articulate why it's wrong to use the correct words, I would be impressed. Using fake terms is imo bloody ridiculous.

The silly name thing is a way of letting children know that those parts are different to their arm, leg or neck....it's a way of separating them into another area altogether.

Which is well and good because those parts are special and private.

You need special names to teach your children that? Really?

How do children distinguish between 'Minnie' and 'vulva' to know that it's private? Surely you as a parent would teach them that regardless of the word used? Calling their genitals a pet name in no way shape or form gives them protection or privacy.

Winkle and winkette in our house. Ds knows the proper names. Dd is happy to call hers winkette for time being.

Willy's for the boys, (didgeridoo if we are joking). I think i have used meat and two veg to make them laugh.

Girly bits or bits and bobs for the girls. We also use the word petouski but I have no idea why (I hope it doesn't mean anything weird)

I think the logic that you should use the proper name is flawed. The proper names are too serious. I think it makes it easier to talk about your 'bits and bobs' when you inject a little humour and affection into the name IYSWIM.

Trust me, you need a lot of humour when you are trying to remind teenage boys to wash their digereedoos or to check their 'meat and two veg' for lumps.

Vagina.

Vulva just doesn't sound like the right word to me because I grew up thinking it was vagina not vulva, tho I know anatomically its correct. I have explained that to ds'! (6 and 4) who know that vagina is actually the passage for babies. I can't bring myself to use silly euphemisms, I don't see why it isn't just a biological thing.

Dd is2 and she is v proud of her gina!

Each to their own but I don't see why you have to be humorous about a body part?

well, yes, Holly. It's non-specific in the same way that "your arm" doesn't actively specify whether it's your arm, your whole arm, your forearm, your elbow or whether you're including your wrist or hand in it or not. I'm not really sure I get your point.

Why do you need to use a lot of humour though?

Do you use humour to mask your own embarrassment?

We don't need to use humour. I talk to the teens in an open and honest way, without the need of humour.

I don't really care, but we don't come up for special words for arms, ears or teeth so it does send a message that these are at the very least private, which they are.

Ok so we have established that certain body parts are private and to be given little pet names.. Well, if you are a girl anyway.

Why don't we give boys these silly little names for their penises?
Or what about bottoms and anuses?
These are also private.

Just asked Ds (3)

Where his stomach is
He pointed to it
Then asked where his tummy is
He pointed to it
Then asked where his belly is
He pointed to it

He's perfectly capable of knowing more than one word for the same thing without getting confused
(And he now thinks I'm odd...er)

Dd2 calls hers a pipsy because that's the noise it makes when she wees. Dd1 called hers a pippa, as a child mine was a tuppence.

On a day to day basis we use 'bits' for all genitalia male or female. Eg 'stop playing with your bits in public' - It doesn't matter if it is penis/willy or balls/scrotum that's being fiddled with.

But if more accurate description is required (something is sore for eg) then we use vulva.