To ask you for a name for daughter's bits?

[lucamom]

Apologies in advance if this is inappropriate.

My two boys (6 & 4) are mildly obsessed with the fact that baby sister (1) doesn't have a dinkle. We deal with the anatomy explanations quite well I think until it comes time to 'name' her bits (appropriate to their age, but avoiding twee names like foo-foo/Twinkie etc)

I hate the 'v' word (rubbish I know-sister is a midwife who believes in using medical terms for everything!), and I think as a kid we used fanny, which I also hate.

So tell me, what do you/your daughter's call yours? Inspiration needed please.

Sorry if this is weird!

She calls it her foo

Minnie or girly bits.

Softly: plenty of experts in child abuse disagree with you. A friend of mine went on a parenting course where she was told that too.

The 'V' word is that like the 'n' word or 'c' word?

Wow, do adult women feel weird about the correct term for their own genitals? Seriously? If you can't handle words like vulva and vagina, how are you even mature enough to make a baby come out of one?!

Front bottom is bloody awful. It implies that they are dirty, smelly, etc. And it's suggesting an anatomical similarity which could be confusing for older kids, which at least doesn't exist with mimsy names like Fairy, etc.

I honestly would suggest you just call it what it is. It's a body part. Same as an arm, a leg, a foot, a toe...

Finding euphamisms for a body part has the potential to give the child the impression that there's is something shameful about it. Which someone shouldn't have about a part of their body.

So it's penis, vulva/vagina and a generic 'genitals' all the way here. By being casual and unembarrassed about it, I hope to avoid it being a sniggery subject. After all, nobody giggles as they chant arm arm arm arm, do they?

We make that happen because we find different words, because we talk of it in whispered voice. There's your head, shoulders, knees and toes and then there's your bits.

Not good.

We say vulva and penis.

Some odd names on here! Tushy/tushie for eg, is a slang term for bottom! Not sure I'd want those definitions mixed up!

I've never understood why people are so afraid to let their children learn correctly. Why would you willfully teach a DC an incorrect word when there are perfectly good correct terms?!

With my next DC I am going to train them to say beef curtains and meat whistle. joking

Oh FFS then not knowing the word vulva won't open them up to abuse!

Perhaps not "open up", but make it harder for them to report it, yes.

This has happened! Little girls with private family cutisms have tried to tell trusted adults outside the family, such as teachers, and not been understood.

Boys, willy/penis.
Girls, vulva.

Vaginas, imho are not bottoms (seriously people use this?), minnie (not a mouse), tuppence (money), minky (housework stuff - ironing boards etc), fairy (yea because it's magical and has wings), penny (really, another money one never mind a persons name), foofoo (character in beano).

Why not call it what it is, rather than a ridiculous name.

we just say girl/lady bits

Why do so many people thimk the word vulva is an ugly one?

Is volvo ugly? Or lava?

It's a word. I don't think there has to be an alternative word. My children know the words penis, testicles, vulva and vagina and manage to say all of them without flinching, Having said that, we also use the informal versions - willy and bits.

i will admit to using a nickname because DD is likely to talk very openly about her body parts and i want to offer a bit of safeguarding - she has very few appropriate social boundaries and we figured (rightly or wrongly, i'm sure there will be many who will judge me on that )

she knows there are names for all the different parts, vagina, vulva 'wee hole' (urethra is too hard for her to remember) but collectively we use the word 'flower'

My DD (5) called hers her 'outrage'! Goodness knows where she got it from.

we just used the word privates .

It's very disempowering to not know the correct name for such an important part of one's own body. Making it all silly/shameful/mysterious/taboo/unconnected to anything physical or biological does not set girls up for life positively. Society is sexist enough without us joining in by being self-regulating in such pathetic ways.

I would not like my dd to have called hers a vulva when she was small! A 4 year old does NOT need to feel empowered by her sexual organs,My nan called mine a kipper, I called dd's a flower. My brothers were just plain old willy.

The scan man at hospital called my friends dd at a sexing scan a burger! hideous!

I don't think anyone is saying you shouldn't teach them the correct anatomical names. However I talk about my dcs tummys is that not ok then?

I do think we have to talk about vulvas etc in a different way to elbows, knees because they are different. They are private. I have taught my dd vulva and vagina is inside but we use a nickname. Same as ds2 has a willy and wingles.

I don't want them thinking people can touch them in the same way as if they hold hands iyswim.

If dd came to someone and said 'Uncle X looked at my Minky' I still think it would set off alarm bells.

Crotch in our house. Accurate and straightforward.

Nunu in our house

Front bottom here. I do not associate bottoms as being 'dirty' at all.

Just to point out, "vulva" is the collective term for all the female external reproductive bits, not a specific things like labia or vagina. So if you are going to use "vulva" you might just as well wave your hands in the general direction and vaguely point at it because you aren't saying anything specific at all.

Used lady bits but DD self named hers her Sugar Puff, due to the resemblance to the cereal.
My son refused to eat sugar puffs for years because of it.

Minnie in our house.

Whereas 'flower', 'tuppence' and 'bits' are more specific?