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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To ask you for a name for daughter's bits?

301 replies

lucamom · 07/04/2013 09:11

Apologies in advance if this is inappropriate.

My two boys (6 & 4) are mildly obsessed with the fact that baby sister (1) doesn't have a dinkle. We deal with the anatomy explanations quite well I think until it comes time to 'name' her bits (appropriate to their age, but avoiding twee names like foo-foo/Twinkie etc)

I hate the 'v' word (rubbish I know-sister is a midwife who believes in using medical terms for everything!), and I think as a kid we used fanny, which I also hate.

So tell me, what do you/your daughter's call yours? Inspiration needed please.

Sorry if this is weird!

OP posts:

tethersend · 07/04/2013 17:19

Was les Dawson your midwife, Herrena?

tethersend · 07/04/2013 17:22

"I would never teach a child an alternate word, any more than I would teach them an incorrect term for their head or their leg."

Don't you mean their cranium or their tibia?

seriouscakeeater · 07/04/2013 17:25

neomaxi laughed out with that one - I think I might even say it to DH !
oxford I wasn't ever scared of using the correct terminology, just preferred something less clinical for my little dd.

Also am I detecting a hint with some posters that any thing to do with sexual organs is NOT allowed to be taken in any kind of humour. I think that's quiet oppressive - but then again we are all allowed our own views!!

One of the teenagers I worked with calls a ladys neither regions a wizard sleeve................... sorry but I think that funny ha ha

Wishihadabs · 07/04/2013 17:31

We use lady parts as opposed to boy's bits, I think thats ok.

HerrenaHarridan · 07/04/2013 17:34

I love this

My son has a penis his friend has a winkle

pigletmania · 07/04/2013 17:39

I don't like the words for female genitals much prefer to refer to mine as Fanjo, or fru fru. Why is it sically acceptable fo men to ave nicknames for ter oenis and testicles bit if women use names it's seen as anti feminist.

thegreylady · 07/04/2013 17:39

Herrena indeed; and one day his parents came round to complain about my son's 'bad language'-he had of course used the p word!!
They still let their ds come on holiday with us though.That was in 1977 and in the fullness of time the boys grew up and acted as best man for one another so not too much trauma for the winkle wearer

Borntobeamum · 07/04/2013 17:55

My dd coined the phrase Tippies and Duddun.
Lord knows where they came from but they've stuck! X

UnChartered · 07/04/2013 17:57

what about 'bum' then?
that's a slang term and no-one minds...

OxfordBags · 07/04/2013 18:01

So if I don't like the word ankle, should I start going around calling it my walky bone? That's as daft as saying you don't like the given word for a genital body part and are going to give it a coy name instead.

Wizard's sleeve is funny, but also on a par with terms like clunge in terms of offensiveness. I love sweary words and daft names for everything, and often call my vagina a silly name deliberately to make a comedic point to Dh or close friends, it's just the people reaching for the smelling salts over using a boring, mundane term for a body part that makes me get a bit over-serious. I have very little time for mimsiness in adults.

UnChartered · 07/04/2013 18:04

wizard's sleeve i think is quite offensive - it refers to the vagina losing elasticity

jamdonut · 07/04/2013 18:06

My grandma and Mum always used to say "penny". I always thought that was why you "spend a penny"...until I realised it was to do with actually putting a coin into the door of public toilets!

Softlysoftly · 07/04/2013 18:06

I want an official term for the vaginal area! I'm feeling oppressed!

Seriously vulva just feels too clinical like when my sil (gp) said that a lady we er with had a vasovagal episode. So that would be fainting then?

A "hand" isn't a hand, a "leg" is a collection of differently named parts. We have willies and plonkers but nothing non twee but non clinical generally accepted for the female genital area.

I see a mumsnet campaign coming in .

Softlysoftly · 07/04/2013 18:09

Oh and for those of you who use "vulva" and are offended by other names, dooyou tell your children to wipe their anus properly? Genuine question.

tethersend · 07/04/2013 18:09

I think piglet's in a minority not liking the words vulva/vagina- I think most people agree that they are formal words, and opt for informal ones instead.

Since there are few informal universally recognised words for female genitalia which are suitable for children, people have made up crazy names.

I'm sticking with fanny. So to speak

crashdoll · 07/04/2013 18:11

I've only ever heard it being referred to as a vulva on here following shrieks of vagina being not anatomically correct. But vulva 'contains' (for lack of better word) other anatomy such as the labia, so if you're being pedantic, vulva isn't right either IMO.

crashdoll · 07/04/2013 18:12

If willy and balls are the accepted words for males, us females should have accepted words too without being descended upon as if we have commit a crime against all women.

UnknownGnome · 07/04/2013 18:16

Just as an interesting aside, the 'nicknames' that are used for penises - cock, dick, willy - are listed in the dictionary as slang words for such. I think the only one for women's bits to appear in the dictionary is cunt which, of course, is highly offensive.

poshme · 07/04/2013 18:16

I told my DDs it's a vulva and DD 2 couldn't say it so she calls it her ulva. (She's only 2)...
I don't se why people dislike the word so much. DS has a willy. He knows its really called a penis.

UnknownGnome · 07/04/2013 18:21

Ah, minge is in the dictionary too. So the 'official' slang words that we have are cunt and minge.

StuntGirl · 07/04/2013 18:22

I almost included a sentence about how obviously there are multiple slang words for body parts, such as noggin for head, but we use the correct word the majority of the time and the slang words occasionally, and we teach children that they are slang and not the correct terms, but then I though oh no surely I won't need to go down to such minute detail.

Apparently I did.

"I have very little time for mimsiness in adults."

^ This.

pigletmania · 07/04/2013 18:24

Oxford that's up to,you what you call your vulva, my body my choice, yes I know the anatomical terminology I am not stupid, but why can't I talk about my Fanjo or fru fru without the feminists having an attack of te vapours and reaching for te smelling salts. So why is it acceptable for men to talk about their willy or todger, or pointing percy at the Porcalinbuttoning for a pee),but if women uses anything but anatomically correct term it's very bad. Yes if you want to be even mre correct, it's cranium for head, femur for leg, and stand so forth. No I'm not in te minority quite a fe people are not keen on the wrds vulva or vagina.

StuntGirl · 07/04/2013 18:24

Perhaps we should teach our children those terms unknown. I wonder how the faint of heart would cope with hearing those coming from children's mouths!

StuntGirl · 07/04/2013 18:25

It's less about using slang and more about teaching children slang to the exclusion of the actual terminology.

pigletmania · 07/04/2013 18:25

I hate the words cunt, clange sets my teeth on edge

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