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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

friend said i treat DD as though she's terminally ill

278 replies

princessj29 · 05/04/2013 22:21

Later in the year we're going to Disneyland. DD, age 5, doesn't know yet and I was planning on hiring a Mickey costume for DH's friend to wear to deliver the tickets and some Disney goodies to announce the trip to DD. My friend said this 'special treatment' is ridiculous and that I treat DD like she's terminally ill by arranging things like this! I just wanted DD to have a lovely memory, that's all. She still totally believes that people dressed up are real characters and would be amazed by Mickey coming to the house. The suit only costs £10 to hire but she'll remember it forever- AIBU to think this is just a nice thing to do and that my friend was out of line?

OP posts:
Fudgemallowdelight · 06/04/2013 09:39

Very jealous

AThingInYourLife · 06/04/2013 09:39

I suppose it was a bit rude, but it does all seem a bit Make a Wish Foundation.

I wouldn't have said it. But I would have thought it.

And I am giggling away at all the people saying how imaginative and creative it is to have a person dressed up as Mickey Mouse making a big song and dance of announcing your holiday :o

sweetiepie1979 · 06/04/2013 09:44

Jealous friend me thinks. Even if she thought it was over the top she should still enjoy that it's a fun thing to do and your wacky. Your not by the way I think it's fun and why not ? If you look around there will be other things happening that will help you realise she has some issues.

DumSpiroSpero · 06/04/2013 09:46

Tell her to bugger off and mind her own.

It's possibly a bit OTT but so what? If you can't do slightly bonkers stuff to bring a bit of magic to your child's life then it's a sad old world.

FWIW I'm taking my 8yo to see Charlie & The Chocolate Factory in July - am not telling her until the morning when she will get all the details of our trip (we're staying in London overnight and doing some other stuff too) on a golden ticket inside a real Wonka bar Grin!

rockinhippy · 06/04/2013 09:47

I suppose it was a bit rude, but it does all seem a bit Make a Wish Foundation

I hope for your DCs sake that you never need to understand exactly why that is so offensive Hmm but you really should be ashamed of yourself, as should the OPs friend

flippinada · 06/04/2013 09:53

I think the surprise sounds really lovely (and do do you) and I'm sure your DD will love it to.

Your friend sounds thoroughly unpleasant. No need for such a spiteful comment.

flippinada · 06/04/2013 09:56

Oh dear, my phone is conspiring against me today.

DumSpiro I did that a couple of years ago when I took DS to Legoland. The look on his face was priceless! Have fun :)

Groovee · 06/04/2013 09:58

Is she really a friend? I'd be telling her to get lost. I've surprised my children with a trip to Florida this year and I didn't see it as being terminally ill but a surprise which their reactions were fab x

Hulababy · 06/04/2013 10:00

Some people are just miseries and can't see the fun and joy in anything about different. Ignore her a do what suits you and dd best. Your dd will have lovey memories.

Tbh I find your so called friend quite unpleasant referring to terminally ill children like this anyway.

I'd find another friend.

mercibucket · 06/04/2013 10:04

It's a horrible thing to say to a friend and I wouldn't want to stay friends with someone who said it to me

It does, however, sound ott, but you say you had a bad childhood, so it's all abput making their childhood extra special. Maybe that is why your 'friend' sees it as 'make a wish' territory. Mean to say or even think it though, and not at all comparable

What on earth did you say in reply?

Ledkr · 06/04/2013 10:04

No do it your mate is jealous.
We took our ds's to Florida years ago and didn't tell them until the limo turned up to takes us to the airport ( dh mate had limo company so cheaper than a cab)
I took my d to see one direction last night and I wouldn't have risked missing her face for the world

marquesas · 06/04/2013 10:14

Whilst I would never dream of saying what your friend said I can't believe how many posters think she's jealous.

Really? Jealous of someone going to Disneyland, it's hardly a world cruise (no offence to your holiday choice OP) outside the pockets of all but the megawealthy is it?

Sure, she might be a nasty person but I wouldn't jump to the conclusion she's green with envy.

PurpleRayne · 06/04/2013 10:16

She isn't your friend.

DPotter · 06/04/2013 10:16

Sounds absolutely lovely to me.

Just one word of warning - several years ago my nephew (then aged 5yrs) adored Mr Blobby. My DP hired a Mr Bobby suit for my DSis wedding (don't ask why). We all thought nephew would love it but he screamed the place down - Mr Blobby close up was over 7ft tall ! Can I suggest Micky stands back from the door and allows your little girl to approach him rather than being really close to the door. At the Disney parks characters are briefed to step back if small children look frightened so as not to be threatening.

Have a lovely time - "It's a small, small world !"

MuddlingMackem · 06/04/2013 10:16

AThingInYourLife Sat 06-Apr-13 08:32:35

Also to me adults dressing up as fictional characters and pretending to actually be them insults children's intelligence.

It's the opposite of magic - it takes imagination and mystery and brings it kicking and screaming into the mundane.

I can't bear it.

fivesacrowd · 06/04/2013 10:20

We went to disney Florida last year and told the dc the previous Christmas - huge box filled with packing beans with disney character toys and leaflets etc all hidden at bottom. Dc still talk about how they found out and holiday was brilliant. You'll have a brilliant time and don't worry about what other people think, it's what your dc think that matters.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 06/04/2013 10:20

It does all seem a bit "Make a wish foundation".

Err no. It doesn't.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 06/04/2013 10:21

Massively insensitive post

AThingInYourLife · 06/04/2013 10:21

Well I am against dressing up, it's true :o

But what sends me out to the barricades is people pretending the "real" Santa/Easter Bunny/Mickey Mouse/Elvis/Jon Snow showed up to their house.

Just... no!

crashdoll · 06/04/2013 10:21

That was a vile thing for her to say but I wonder if maybe you came across as bragging...? Not excusing her but we don't know the context for this situ.

FreudiansSlipper · 06/04/2013 10:26

what an odd thing to say

I too am going against what most are saying on here i do not think it is jealousy as it seems to be more about getting the ticket delivered by friend in costume. If a friend made this suggestion i would laugh and tell them not to be so indulgent. I agree it is the little things that make memories

Not a fan of all this Disney is magical. Ds went thankfully with his dad they had an ok time but neither of us play into the Disney stuff and ds would have enjoyed a weekend at centre parks more ex feels it was a total rip off and waste of money

Telling Mickey to stop bothering him hilarious Grin

ConfusedPixie · 06/04/2013 10:28

I wouldn't have her as a friend any more Shock

I think it sounds quite OTT, but half the fun of doing these things is going over the top! OTT isn't always a bad thing and I hope that when I have children I'll be as imaginative as you and not a horrid grump like her

Waiting That cardboard castle idea is awesome

TheSecondComing · 06/04/2013 10:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Vicky2011 · 06/04/2013 10:35

Not to my taste though partly because I know my DS has a tendency to react in exactly the way I don't expect. We did the "pretend we're going to see GrandPs but actually we're off to your favourite place (CP)" thing and there were floods of tears 'cos he wanted to see GrandPs so we had to take a massive detour on the way back via them.

But in short, while your friend is entitled to feel it's all a bit OTT she is being horrid to say so and to make the reference to terminal illness...very strange thing for any parent to say. Does she actually have kids?

AllDirections · 06/04/2013 10:40

MuddlingMackem DD1 has taken DD3 to the cinema in Middlesbrough so I'll text and tell them to go to the Cleveland Centre after that Grin

OP YANBU Some people don't know when to STFU