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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be absolutely f****ing furious with DH?

61 replies

Supermim · 04/04/2013 20:41

Just seen an email confirming his week playing golf in Portugal next month - he hasn't even mentioned it to me before!!!!!!!!!! And it's not the first time - he did the same thing two years ago and made me look a complete prat at the golf club as I was the only mug who didn't know her DH was going away!!
He says he hasn't confirmed yet (even though his name is on the email, flights are booked, hotel booked etc., deposit paid and I think balance paid as it was due 13/03/13! He also says he hasn't paid but I think he lies ! And anyway I believe I have a right to be fuming just because he didn't consult me about it/mention it to me at all??? I have told him if he goes he won't have a wife to come back to - which he says is not very nice !!
Your opinions please,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

OP posts:
SirBoobAlot · 04/04/2013 20:43

YANBU. He should have at least run it past you, and if he has a habit of this, sounds like a right pain to live with.

HazelnutinCaramel · 04/04/2013 20:43

YANBU. Have you asked when he was planning on mentioning it to you?

AnOeufUniversallyEggnowledged · 04/04/2013 20:43

Why didn't he tell you?

DialMforMummy · 04/04/2013 20:45

YADNBU Why would he not say anything?

youmaycallmeSSP · 04/04/2013 20:45

And when is your fabulous holiday?

Rulesgirl · 04/04/2013 20:47

YANBU but do you really mean it? Will you actually leave him if he goes and are you saying that you will be ending your marriage if he goes.

lonahjomu · 04/04/2013 20:47

Are you going to stick to your guns if he does go? As I suspect he is going?

HollyBerryBush · 04/04/2013 20:48

is it actually a problem though? I pack my DH off every October for a week in Spain playing golf. It's bliss.

Snugglepiggy · 04/04/2013 20:49

No YANBU.I would be livid.Do you have a family ?Not that that really makes a difference tbh.It's just courtesy in my mind ,and all about honesty and consideration isn't it?How would he feel if it was the reverse and you didn't even discuss a weeks holiday ,and went ahead and booked it?

Catchingmockingbirds · 04/04/2013 20:49

I can't ever imagine booking a holiday away to Portugal without mentioning it to DP at some point, yanbu.

AnyFucker · 04/04/2013 20:49

Don't make threats you have no intention of following through

He has done this before

Ergo, this one is the dealbreaker. Why do I have the feeling you will roll over, though ?

Chottie · 04/04/2013 20:50

I'm just wondering why he hasn't told you about it? It seems quite a selfish act to me. I hope you show him this thread and the comments. Why is he lying when the evidence is in black and white? Was he just going to go the airport instead of work one day?

dopeysheep · 04/04/2013 20:51

Weird. What was he going to say when he wasn't at home for a week? Have you got kids?

Karoleann · 04/04/2013 20:53

Just book your own holiday, dh and I often have a week/weekend away without each other.
It is very selfish booking it without asking you.

digerd · 04/04/2013 20:54

Very secretive of him. Very strange. He did this 2 years ago and did you have a go at him then? .
He reminds me of a child who knows he has done it again although you were very cross with him the first time.
How did he think he would get away with it?

How old is he?

Portofino · 04/04/2013 20:56

It is totally unacceptable booking it without asking you first. Would be a deal breaker for me.

Liara · 04/04/2013 20:56

If he takes the dc then no problem. Take yourself off to somewhere nice and enjoy....

FriggFRIGG · 04/04/2013 20:57

How very odd.
And yes,I'd be furious.

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie · 04/04/2013 20:59

Say "Ooh sorry darling that won't work! I've had those weeks booked for a while now and I', not going to be here for the DC."

pamelat · 04/04/2013 21:00

Is he normally a selfish pig?

NorthernLurker · 04/04/2013 21:03

If my husband booked and paid for a holiday (just for him, not a surprise for both of us) without speaking to me at all I would be seriously questioning the future of our relationship tbh. Did you mean it about leaving him? Because if you've just issued an emoty threat you've made a doormat of yourself!

claudedebussy · 04/04/2013 21:04

do you have kids?

digerd · 04/04/2013 21:06

His reply of " That's not very nice", implies to me he thinks you do not mean it, or he doesn't care. Not sure which.

ThePinkOcelot · 04/04/2013 21:10

YANBU!
Is the holiday itself you are annoyed about, or the fact that he hasn't told you about it? Also, it sounds like he is lying when he says he doesn't know if definitely going yet!

VitoCorleone · 04/04/2013 21:11

I would hit the roof if my DP done this.