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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not want by 7wk olds dad to take him out without me?

98 replies

JellyBelly1975 · 04/04/2013 19:58

We aren't together and he wants to spend time with him but without me.

I'm bf'ding on demand and lo feeds roughly every hour.

He's said he wants me to feed lo and he will come back in an hour. But I'm not comfortable with it. I need some other opinions on this please. Would anyone be ok with letting their 7 week old leave the building they are in?

I've offered to meet at my parents house and go upstairs in case lo wants feeding, he says this will not be relaxed for him.

OP posts:
Annunziata · 04/04/2013 19:59

YANBU, baby is too little just now.

Gossipmonster · 04/04/2013 20:00

I let my DS2 dad take him when he was teeny tiny and he was EBF - it'll be fine - as long as you have no other concerns?

thebody · 04/04/2013 20:01

No I sgree with you. Why is he insisting on something that will make his child's mother upset?

Salmotrutta · 04/04/2013 20:01

Do you trust him to bring the baby back within an hour?

Is he planning on taking the baby out in the pram for a walk?

If you trust him to be just an hour or less and he's going for a walk I don't see a problem.?

I don't understand about leaving the building.

Gossipmonster · 04/04/2013 20:02

It's his son too?

atrcts · 04/04/2013 20:02

You're not being unreasonable at all.

stella1w · 04/04/2013 20:03

Yanbu

Salmotrutta · 04/04/2013 20:03

I don't think theOP gives enough info.

If it's just out for a walk and if he comes back within the hour what is wrong with that?

seeker · 04/04/2013 20:03

Sorry- but I think you have to let him. I understand why you would hate it. Could you compromise on 30 minutes?

NaturalBlondeYeahRight · 04/04/2013 20:04

No, we'll unless he pretty much walks to the shops and back. Where else could he go in one hour??
You have offered him one idea which ( might) make him uncomfortable. What about you wait in a cafe while he has a mooch around town. Tbh what sort of bonding will he be doing in this hour?
Are you on good terms or are things still dodgy. Who left who?

MissyMooandherBeaverofSteel · 04/04/2013 20:04

I think going out for a walk for half an hour isn't too big an ask really.

Salmotrutta · 04/04/2013 20:05

And I still don't understand about "leaving the building"

Babies can go out from day one if properly dressed etc?

NaturalBlondeYeahRight · 04/04/2013 20:05

Sorry if I sound rude, just wondering who would be feeling more sensitive ATM.

SirBoobAlot · 04/04/2013 20:06

No, YANBU. Too little.

ImTooHecsyForYourParty · 04/04/2013 20:07

I regularly chucked mine at my husband and told him to bog off with them for an hour or two Grin

If you were still a couple, would you feel the same way? That he couldn't take the baby out for an hour without you?

Or is he irresponsible and not capable of caring for a small baby for an hour? In which case then of course he can't.

Salmotrutta · 04/04/2013 20:07

Too little for a one hour walk?

We can't really say until the OP clarifies what he is planning on!

digerd · 04/04/2013 20:07

At 7 weeks babies just eat, sleep and need nappy changing.
What does he intend to do in an hour and where?

No, yanbu he is.

zukiecat · 04/04/2013 20:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

seeker · 04/04/2013 20:09

I just remember how much my children's father loved time alone with them, and how he still remembers it now.

Pigsmummy · 04/04/2013 20:11

I couldn't bring myself to let this happen, yanbu. What will he gain in an hour that can't be gained in your home? You could go for a bath/nap/read but stay close by, also it is Baltic cold at the moment and snowy.

redskyatnight · 04/04/2013 20:11

AT this age my DC's grandparents loved taking them out for a walk (obv with baby in pram). I totally see how this feels more like time together than with you being round or in a place where he can't relax. If you're not comfortable with an hour, why not half an hour and build up?

SneakyNinja · 04/04/2013 20:11

Depends how far away he is going. Is there any possibility of taking Ds somewhere that is only 5-10 minutes away and then promising to return as soon as he gets fretty?
I do feel for you, I remember having a Doctors appointment with Ds about the same age and practically having to drag myself out the door away from him. AND it was only half an hour AND I'm married to his Father.

noblegiraffe · 04/04/2013 20:12

Why on earth is a 7 week old baby too little to be apart from its mother for an hour? I really don't think he's asking much, and can understand why he'd want to spend time with his own child away from a hovering mother.

I've got an ebf nine week old who I leave with DH while I pop to the shops and who has been taken out in the pram by grandparents. The only problem I can see here is if you don't trust him to bring the baby back.

Salmotrutta · 04/04/2013 20:12

Scandinavian babies seem to cope Pigsmummy.

They put their babies out (properly attired) to sleep in their prams no problem.

EmmaGellerGreen · 04/04/2013 20:13

Unless there is anything more that you're not telling us, why on earth can your baby's father not take him for a walk? What on earth could be the problem? DH was taking DS for walks from a few days old while I lay on the sofa in a sleep deprived haze.

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