posting here so it will disappear...
DH and I have been married 10 years - love him to bits and we are very happy. We have 2 DC under 4. I always thought that his parents were alright. They are very blunt and seem to think they can say things other people can't, but I always took the view that they didn't do it maliciously and tried very hard not to get upset etc etc. I can see that sometimes I was a bit defensive because she is so incredibly rude but did try not to be. I have also had bad PND since DC2 which she didn't know about because she is a gossip and it is none of her business. Last year she was visiting the DC and announced over supper one evening that "she and FIL had watched me for a few years now and although they thought I was alright at the beginning, they have now decided that they don't like me".
The fallout, needless to say has been immense. She got to the point of ringing up my mother to complain about my upbringing and had told everyone that DH agrees with everything she said, despite DH bursting into tears over her complete inability to listen to anything he said. She now accepts she was wrong (although FIL doesn't and just ignores me) and has apologised and now clearly thinks that it is all over and we can just go back to normal and carry on. I am finding that very hard. I can't stand to be around them as I just feel they are judging me again, and don't wish to see them. I keep trying to be the bigger person here and just carry on and then just freeze when they arrive. The whole thing has been just excellent for the depression too 
. What do I do, should I be the bigger person?