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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think the world does not need 'gender reveal parties'?

281 replies

dreamingbohemian · 04/04/2013 09:21

My cousin, clearly the first woman in the world to ever give birth Wink, has just had something called a gender reveal party.

They went for the scan, then had friends and family around, ramped up the suspense for a couple hours, then she opened a big box of balloons that were.... pink! It's a girl! Awwww.

AIBU to think this is the wankiest thing ever? Or am I a joyless hag?

My family think it's cute so I need you nest of vipers lot to restore my faith in humanity.

OP posts:
bumperella · 04/04/2013 23:18

Alconleigh, people do look for excuses to take offence, though, even about something they don't really care much about! C'mon, it's not just my mental colleagues/cousins who are like that sometimes, surely???

It's an excuse for a party and get away from the "ooh, well, I know what it is but don't think I shouldn't tell you" fall out. If you're invited tp one and you don't fancy it, then surely make up an exciuse.

I didn't know the sex of my DD, am not pg and have never been to a gender reveal (sex relveal sounds SO much more dodgy-suburban though).

Alconleigh · 04/04/2013 23:24

Nope, everyone I know is well balanced and with plenty going on in their own lives. I can no more imagine any of the people I value huffing about when they found out a foetus gender than I can imagine them appearing on Jeremy Kyle. Not that the two are comparable. I know that sounds a bit insufferable, but I do find this sort of thing extraordinary. Do these people who care about such minutiae not have their own families, jobs, commutes, hobbies, box sets?!

SpecialAgentTattooedQueen · 04/04/2013 23:26

The only time I think people get annoyed about not knowing the sex is either:

They're dysfunctional family members

Or you're one of those annoying people who brings up the fact you know and ooh eem gee it's sooo hard not to tell every fucking conversation. So you play along and ask. Oh no I want it to be a surprise. ARGH I don't give a fuck either tell me or don't.

propertyNIGHTmareBEFOREXMAS · 04/04/2013 23:29

Yes, I would not have a large party but I see nothing wrong with inviting grandparents and siblings for a reveal and a celebration.

propertyNIGHTmareBEFOREXMAS · 04/04/2013 23:31

Plus you need to be genuinely delighted whatever the gender for this to work. Can you imagine some Hun bursting into tears as blue is revealed instead of princess pink Grin

StuntGirl · 04/04/2013 23:32

Wanky as hell.

Grin

I am of the opinion that you wait til your baby is born safely before you start celebrating.

SpecialAgentTattooedQueen · 04/04/2013 23:37

I wonder what the reaction to this thread would have been on NetHuns...

PretzelTime · 04/04/2013 23:40

Don't give them ideas!

LazyMonkeyButler · 05/04/2013 00:12

On the face of it it sounds sweet. However, I am firmly in the "wait until the baby has arrived safely to celebrate" brigade. I had a late MC myself & two friends have had the agony of stillborn babies Sad. In my last pregnancy (after my MC), I didn't even announce the pregnancy as such - obviously people who saw me noticed Grin, and I told close friends & family but I felt like it was tempting fate to do any more than that.

We discussed possible names obviously, but DD's name was decided in hospital after her birth. The only things we bought in advance were a moses basket, first size clothes, nappies & a pushchair aswell - we needed to see a healthy baby come home first before we could really "go to town" as it were.

VisualiseAHorse · 05/04/2013 00:26

We had a gender reveal party.

I was giving birth. Baby popped out. I said 'has he got a willy??'. Midwife said 'yes'.

It was an ace party, there was mood lighting, nakedness, a hot tub and drugs on tap. Felt totally wasted afterwards.

tvmum1976 · 05/04/2013 04:21

I don't get this whole "why do people think I care what the sex of their baby is" line of thought. People don't think that other people care deeply about their birthdays or weddings, but it would be nice to think friends took a passing interest in the major milestones of their lives and a baby seems like a pretty major milestone. Personally I prefer this idea to baby showers as it seems like more of a celebration of a fun milestone rather than a grabby attempt to get presents.

aurynne · 05/04/2013 06:35

"When she gets to number 4 noone gives a shite!"

No one gives a shite with any number.

nooka · 05/04/2013 06:56

Lol VisualiseAHorse Grin

The birth of a baby is a very big deal of course. Finding out the sex should not be. Where I live now they have been discussing whether to stop telling parents the sex during scans because of a rise in the number of later abortions.

I also think it is peculiar and really quite wrong to have a party to 'welcome' a child that hasn't been born.

MrTumblesBavarianFanbase · 05/04/2013 06:58

I thought this was going to be about a new party craze among androgynous young people, who wore masks and capes (or something) to a party and mingled flirtatiously (disguising their voices presumably) before revealing their gender at some point in the evening - a bit like 16th century Venetian carnival or a more elaborate masked ball...

Am disappointed now :o Although it sounds slightly less offensive than a "gimme presents" baby shower, as long as only a few close interested parties are invited and no presents expected... Wouldn't do it though!

PretzelTime · 05/04/2013 08:17

VisualiseGrin

Original poster
dreamingbohemian · 05/04/2013 08:19

Visualise Grin

It's not that I don't care what my cousin is having, but it's like -- oh how nice, a girl! (or, alternate version: oh how nice, a boy!) Then, um, life goes on. It's just one small facet of having a baby, why have a party for this particular characteristic? It's just nature, doing its thing.

Oh and sorry, people asked: no I don't think there were formal presents, but people would normally bring a little something for these things.

OP posts:
Original poster
dreamingbohemian · 05/04/2013 08:21

I also like Cheryl's idea of having another party if the scan is wrong. They can call it a gender correction party and really give people the wrong idea.

OP posts:
freddykins · 05/04/2013 08:48

Visualise Cracking my DH and me up! Nice one.

chocoluvva · 05/04/2013 09:33

Have scans become more advanced in the past 14 years? When DC2 was scanned I had to beg the radiographer to tell me which sex he was. It was not policy to reveal the sex apparently, as there was a significant inicidence of getting it wrong.

VisualiseAHorse · 05/04/2013 09:35

And the hangover lasted for MONTHS.

Nooka - I am shocked that people have abortions because of the 'wrong' sex. I already knew that this can and does happen, but it is so awful.

Original poster
dreamingbohemian · 05/04/2013 09:41

Yes, I know at least a few hospitals in London no longer tell you the sex, because they found some people were having illicit abortions after finding out they were having girls. It is awful Sad.

I guess in that light, having people be so excited about having a girl seems like a good thing? But really, I wish the whole issue didn't have so much significance.

OP posts:
TheRivieraKid · 05/04/2013 09:49

When I had my 20 week scan for DD 3 years ago, the sonographer told me she used to work at one of the Birmingham hospitals and it was policy NOT to tell people the sex of the baby due to the same reason bohemian describes. All very sad that technology can be used in that way Sad

lowra · 05/04/2013 12:38

Naff naff naff.

Honestly, pipe down, no-on else is that bothered...

LimboLil · 05/04/2013 14:14

lol did you tell her you thought it was wanky. Or did you make all the appropriate ooh and aaah noises? I would probably make all the right noises but I am not good at hiding my inner thoughts and feelings so it would be mightily obvious that I thought it was wanky. I do cringe a bit though when I think about what I was like when I was preg first time (rivalled only by mil's sheer nuttiness)

WafflyVersatile · 05/04/2013 14:17

I thought this was going to be about some sort of masked balls.

I'm not a fan of what I thought it would be but this is worse.

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