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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think the world does not need 'gender reveal parties'?

281 replies

dreamingbohemian · 04/04/2013 09:21

My cousin, clearly the first woman in the world to ever give birth Wink, has just had something called a gender reveal party.

They went for the scan, then had friends and family around, ramped up the suspense for a couple hours, then she opened a big box of balloons that were.... pink! It's a girl! Awwww.

AIBU to think this is the wankiest thing ever? Or am I a joyless hag?

My family think it's cute so I need you nest of vipers lot to restore my faith in humanity.

OP posts:
CockyFox · 04/04/2013 09:44

Oh have googled now, gender is cultural personal identification - nonsense.

Theicingontop · 04/04/2013 09:45

YABU, because I get feckloads of customers wanting gender-reveal cakes.

Wink
eccentrica · 04/04/2013 09:45

Sex is biological physique, gender is culturally learned behaviour, these parties are awful ;-

eccentrica · 04/04/2013 09:46

And that was meant to be a wink!

glorious · 04/04/2013 09:46

fox sex is biological whereas gender is what someone identifies themselves as. I didn't know either until I embarrassed myself once Smile

GwendolineMaryLacey · 04/04/2013 09:48

I can't get steamed up about gender parties/baby showers/gift lists etc. Let other people get on with what makes them happy. I don't understand the foaming about it.

And I think it's incredibly naive to suggest that no one should care about what sex their baby is. People do, it's life.

Original poster
dreamingbohemian · 04/04/2013 09:49

thanks ladies Grin

I have to say, it's increasingly annoying living in a Pinterest world. It's like there are so many more things I have to pretend to care about!

Easily great point about gender vs sex. Another reason to hate the whole idea.

OP posts:
Original poster
dreamingbohemian · 04/04/2013 09:52

I should say as well, my cousin is American, so if the scan turns out to be wrong there will no doubt be a lawsuit in the works Wink

icing I will totally accept AIBU in your case! Are you in the UK? Is it really becoming a thing there?

OP posts:
HesterShaw · 04/04/2013 09:53

God, I've heard it all now Hmm. Wanky is right

I think what people are forgetting in these FB and Twitter driven times is their lives are not as interesting or exciting to other people.

EasilyBored · 04/04/2013 09:54

I understand people caring. We certainly wanted to know the sex, just so we were not limited to only buying while clothes (as it was we bought a lot of purple, green, yellow etc, not just blue), but it also made us feel like the whole thing was a bit more 'real'. The part I object to is the whole 'it's a girl/boy! Here's a load of frilly pink/blue cars lets just get this kid all well and labelled before it's even taken it's first breath!' And do not even get me started on naming babies before they are even born.

I find it all a bit tacky to be honest. Gender reveal party and grabby baby shower. Why can't people enjoy having a new baby without it being this giant production. We had a little meet the baby type party when DS was a couple of weeks old, everyone came over for some cakes but there was absolutely no expectation of gifts.

TakingTheStairs · 04/04/2013 09:56

YABU.
Why on earth does it bother you? If it's not for you, don't go to the party.
Or does it make you feel smug & superior to sneer at others because you don't agree with their reasons for excitement.

Librarina · 04/04/2013 09:56

I'm glad someone else asked about the gender/sex thing cos I'm never very sure.

My sex is female - that's biology, X & Y chromosomes, that sort of thing. If I have gender reassignment surgery, my chromosomes will stay the same, so I will always be biologically female.

My gender is ... about identity? I identify myself female, however other people may identify themselves as something other than their biological sex, and you might even define yourself as gender-neutral?

Is that right? I'm practically tying myself in knots attempting not to be offensive to anyone.

Either way, any excuse for a party and I like cake very much but I wouldn't have a party to reveal anything about this baby just in case something goes wrong before they're safely in my arms.

thebody · 04/04/2013 09:58

Ar am guessing its a Pfb.

When she gets to number 4 noone gives a shite!

Seriously she sounds a hoot, wait till potty training she will probably have a poo in the potty party!!!

At least you will have a good laugh as time progresses.

catlady1 · 04/04/2013 09:59

I'm another who just can't seem to get wound up about this. It's not something I'd do myself, but if other people want to throw a party then why not? Life, for the most part, is pretty dull, so surely any reason for cake celebration is a good thing.

Mondayschild78 · 04/04/2013 10:01

Definitely wanky. However, I am going to tell my friends we are having such a party though now I'm preg with #2

Just for a laugh like! Grin

maddening · 04/04/2013 10:09

I don't know anyone who wasn't interested in the sex of their baby - whether they found out at the scan or keeping it a surprise for the birth. And what sex the baby is is always one of the first questions - so I don't get all those suggesting that no one should care.

Personally wouldn't have a party or a shower or even christening/naming party but it doesn't bother me that others do.

anothershittynickname · 04/04/2013 10:14

YANBU - I also think that this is the wankiest (word steal) ever and they should be celebrating the fact that the baby is ok xx

anothershittynickname · 04/04/2013 10:15

Wankiest thing ever*

LokiTheCynicalCat · 04/04/2013 10:20

I had one. It was fun, just an excuse to have friends over for cake.

We have a really good home for parties, but both of our birthdays fell too late into my pregnancy to celebrate with a party, and we didn't think we'd be up for hosting parties post-pregnancy because, well, you never know what's gonna happen with the birth. We needed a good second trimester excuse.

Anyway I was rubbish at keeping secrets so everyone knew the damn thing was blue before we cut it.

StealthPolarBear · 04/04/2013 10:21

I assumed this was about adults from the title :o

fuzzysnout · 04/04/2013 10:24

I thought you were going to say it was one of those lentil weavery extremists families who give their child a gender neutral name e.g. Storm or Rain and refuse to tell anyone the sex until the child is 26 so that they are not defined by the gender expectations of others.

YANBU, I'm joining the nest of vipers to say we really don't need parties with boxes of balloons or colour reveal cakes however sweet & harmless it is. America, you are a great country in many ways, but please keep your twee crap to yourselves. There is something in the British psyche which makes us scoff & tut at your excesses and then ultimately copy them. We are weak Sad

Pancakeflipper · 04/04/2013 10:25

Dream - yep you are a humourless old hag cos it's made me giggle.

I feel left out as we went for 'surpise' and never found out the gender at the scans for our children. Boring old fart me - missed out on a cake and balloon opportunity.

GwendolineMaryLacey · 04/04/2013 10:25

Fucksake. I'm shocked at the stupidity of the posters who are making holier than thou comments regarding being so interested in the sex of your baby, that you are automatically too preoccupied to give a thought to the health of your child. You can do both Hmm

sjupes · 04/04/2013 10:27

I wouldn't do it and i wouldn't go to one either.

Important people i told by phone the rest by facebook.

The sheer effort of having to throw a party uch :( but i'm a lazy miserable sod wallowing in my pregnancy induced sleepy spell and everything is too much effort ..

JamieandtheMagicTorch · 04/04/2013 10:31

I hate parties, especially ones that are a big old excuse for attention-seeking/ present so can't really get into the whole " any excuse for a party" argument.

I may be a miserable sod though