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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu to expect abled people to move? (Pushchair related)

229 replies

Maryshoppins · 01/04/2013 19:07

If I see a pushchair, wheel chair, person with 101 bags and so on, walking towards me, I would, without hesitation, move out of their way.

Why does it seem that whenever I am out and about with my pushchair, 9/10 times someone will continue to walk towards me with no intention of moving out the way, therefore I end up swerving at the last to move out of their pathway!

I'm particularly cross about this today, as I was walking towards a woman (and I don't mean intentionally to knock her down,) she continued to walk directly towards my pushchair, glaring at me as if to say 'are you going to move?'. For the first time, I didn't and we both came to a standstill. Sounds ridiculous I know, but I was finally fed up with the amount of rude people I encounter and wanted to be sure I wasn't completely over reacting! This lady called me all sorts, and walked past me in a huff!

Other mothers I have spoken to in the past say they encounter this a lot. But they just swerve out of the way to avoid confrontation.

I'm not normally one for causing a scene. But I am amazed that an abled person wouldn't consciously move out of the way of somebody that has a pushchair or struggling with shopping /children etc.

So, aibu?

OP posts:
MintyyAeroEgg · 02/04/2013 16:30

If you are using something which is obstructing the pavement to the extent that two people cannot pass each other side by the side, then the person causing the obstruction lets the other person pass first, surely?

Viviennemary · 02/04/2013 16:34

I would move out of the way for pushchairs. But I object to people using them as bulldozers.

SchroSawMargeryDaw · 02/04/2013 16:35

^"I would never move out of the way for a pushchair user. I would expect the pushchair user to move out of the way for me, if possible.
"^

Well, if you passed me you would be waiting an awfully long time because I wouldn't be moving.

MrsKoala · 02/04/2013 16:35

so when on a pavement with parked cars, one person alone could step to one side very quickly, or someone with a buggy can't fit between the cars or would have to stop and put the cumbersome buggy down the kerb. the person walking alone should blunder along? i find that very odd. it's quite black and white to say the person causing the obstruction, but that could apply to an elderly person with a shopping trolley thing etc. is everyone to move for you?

MintyyAeroEgg · 02/04/2013 16:46

Of course I would move out of the way for an elderly person or person in a wheelchair. Of course!

FierceBadIggi · 02/04/2013 16:49

It's often not that two people can't pass side by side though is it, it's that one person is walking down the middle and meets another person and doesn't want/choose/notice to give way.
School run pavements are a nightmare. Prior to having kids I would have got very annoyed at this - post kids I realise there is no option, it's just rush hour the same as on the roads! (And better pushing the buggy than driving surely)

FierceBadIggi · 02/04/2013 16:52

Mintyy I hope you don't meet any out-for-the-first-time, possibly depressed new mum getting top grips with life pushing a pram and never again sleeping. Someone displaying a lack of even common courtesy will really make her day.
I've been generally heart-warmed at how nice people are to someone out with a baby, the little smiles that can make it seem easier somehow.

SchroSawMargeryDaw · 02/04/2013 16:55

Fierce It is amazing how something as small as a smile can change your day when you're a new Mum/not coping with lack of sleep etc.

MrsKoala · 02/04/2013 17:20

right mintyy, so it isn't about the person 'obstructing' as you said, it's about the type of person obstructing?

MintyyAeroEgg · 02/04/2013 17:25

Smile No, it is about a person obstructing. Otherwise we wouldn't be talking about someone having to move out of the way, would we?

I didn't expect to have to include disclaimer about the non able-bodied as I would have hoped that that would be a given. But NO!! as ever, on Mumsnet, I should have remembered to state the bleeding obvious.

MrsKoala · 02/04/2013 17:33

sorry, i am now confused are you saying you are non able bodied? surely this discussion is about the able bodied not moving? i think it is entirely because it IS a given that it would not occur to me that a non able bodied person would be included in the expectation to move. This is turning into a people's front of judea argument ('any man...' 'or woman' etc i don't think people expect to keep saying 'or disabled' in discussions as it is an unspoken accepted.)

MintyyAeroEgg · 02/04/2013 17:41

No! but I give up and am off to cook the dc dinner. I thought my couple of posts were clear but it seems not and its not important enough to me to try again!

sue52 · 02/04/2013 17:45

When someone's obstructing my way (including buggy pushing parents), I use the time honoured method of smiling and saying "excuse me please". It has never yet failed in all the years I have employed it.

MrsKoala · 02/04/2013 17:52

Sorry if i'm not getting your point mintyy. :) i'm a bit sleep deprived.

BegoniaBampot · 02/04/2013 18:05

Minty - if you were on a narrowish path and came face to face with a mum, buggy and a toddler - would you really expect them all to step on to the road to let you pass?

Dinkysmummy · 02/04/2013 18:16

No yanbu...
I hate people who dont move out of the way for buggys/wheelchairs/people with small children ect.
It's the same on the bus. I hate those who don't move to let the buggy go in the wheelchair space! Angry

Defo NBU!

KansasCityOctopus · 02/04/2013 18:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Ghanagirl · 02/04/2013 18:47

Very depressing that some people would rather make a point than make some poor woman with toddler and baby's life a little easier??

BoundandRebound · 02/04/2013 18:56

Poor woman?

Oh gosh my heart bleeds

We all, well most, have children. We all know exactly what it's like to have a baby, and a toddler as well.

Some new parents have an entitled air about them. Some experienced parents have the same air too.

Basic manners count and I am pretty sure we mainly all show these manners whilst out and about. I have never consciously not moved out of someone's way but a parent bearing down on me with any form of entitlement that they should have right of way for they have a buggy is absolutely laughable. If they smiled and said excuse me or I'm sorry then fine

Original poster
Maryshoppins · 02/04/2013 18:56

Shushpenfold- so do you walk towards pram pushers and expect them to move? Must make you entitled eh!

OP posts:
hazeyjane · 02/04/2013 18:57

I tell you what really annoys me - when I bump ds's buggy up the steps into school, nearly everybody pushes past, I have to wait for ages for someone to let us go through, even if we are half balanced on the steps I don't mind the kids doing it, but I kind of think the parent's should know better! I have had a few tuts though, so I guess they think I am the pain in the arse!

MrsKoala · 02/04/2013 19:00

i think anyone who is less able to move out the way (for whatever reason) is more 'entitled' to the right of way. how bitter some people seem about some things is bizarre.

FeijoaVodkaAndCheezels · 02/04/2013 19:06

At 8 months pregnant and suffering bad SPD I was busy struggling to push a half full shopping trolley around the supermarket when a stupid cow with a mostly empty basket made me swerve around her. I nearly cried from the pain and swore at her in my head a lot.

Some people are just dicks.

MooMooSkit · 02/04/2013 19:06

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

Original poster
Maryshoppins · 02/04/2013 19:11

Boundandrebound- ANYONE who acts entitled would piss me off! But I have always been the person to swerve because most of the time unfortunately, the hands free pedestrian acts entitled but not moving for me. Nothing entitled of precious about my op.

Why on earth should a person with a pushchair apologise than oncoming person, one who is able bodied to move over? It should be a mutual acknowledgement but usually, it makes sense for the person without a pushchair to step to one side? On the very rare occasion that has happened, I've been grateful and thanked the person. It's got nothing to do with entitlement! It makes logistical sense especially in a crowded street.

OP posts:
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