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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Aibu to expect abled people to move? (Pushchair related)

229 replies

Maryshoppins · 01/04/2013 19:07

If I see a pushchair, wheel chair, person with 101 bags and so on, walking towards me, I would, without hesitation, move out of their way.

Why does it seem that whenever I am out and about with my pushchair, 9/10 times someone will continue to walk towards me with no intention of moving out the way, therefore I end up swerving at the last to move out of their pathway!

I'm particularly cross about this today, as I was walking towards a woman (and I don't mean intentionally to knock her down,) she continued to walk directly towards my pushchair, glaring at me as if to say 'are you going to move?'. For the first time, I didn't and we both came to a standstill. Sounds ridiculous I know, but I was finally fed up with the amount of rude people I encounter and wanted to be sure I wasn't completely over reacting! This lady called me all sorts, and walked past me in a huff!

Other mothers I have spoken to in the past say they encounter this a lot. But they just swerve out of the way to avoid confrontation.

I'm not normally one for causing a scene. But I am amazed that an abled person wouldn't consciously move out of the way of somebody that has a pushchair or struggling with shopping /children etc.

So, aibu?

OP posts:

BegoniaBampot · 02/04/2013 12:02

I usually move for most folk especially buggies, children, old folk etc but you could argue that it's you are bringing a possibly dangerous buggy in to the mix ( mine was fuck off huge), then you have the onus on you to be more careful.

What I get a bit pissed of is when two or more folk expect you to move, often having to step on he road or such. There is a narrow path at our school,if someone comes towards me I always prepare to go single file wth my kids but many don't and still continue walking in a line of two or three - that really makes my blood boil.

ariane5 · 02/04/2013 13:32

This happens all the time where i live, especially difficult if Im pushing the double buggy loaded with shopping and another person with a buggy is coming towards me and clearly does not want to move their (usually single)buggy over.

For some reason round here everybody wants to stay on the inside of the pavement AT ALL TIMES! people do not want to move and Ive had a few awkward stand offs! Its like buggy wars

Ghanagirl · 02/04/2013 14:11

YANBU, when my twins were small I had a tandem pushchair (front and back) so it was relatively easy to get out of the way, (although looking back why don't people realise it's much easier for them to move). But when they were older had to change to a side by side which was nigh on impossible to move swiftly out the way, some people just really rude but other mums are as bad I stopped using bus and would walk miles because it was impossible to take two 8 month old babies out of a pushchair and fold, I did occasionally appeal to mums with one baby/toddler but the ruddiness I encountered made it less stressful to do the 2 hour round journey to shops on foot, on pos side I was down to size8 in no time!

ouryve · 02/04/2013 14:15

Begonia - we have that problem with a particular group of mothers from school. I'm having to work hard with DS1, who has ASD, to get it into his head that randomly stepping into the road is not OK - he's had a few scarily close shaves, recently. They just keep coming though - I usually loudly counsel him "you don't need to step into the road/wade through the mud, DS2 - people will move out of the way to let you past." (And I can't hold onto him because I'm already holding onto his younger brother, who is more severely affected by his disabilities and can't go out without a safety harness)

Ghanagirl · 02/04/2013 14:17

Mrsspagbol why are you on mumsnet if you haven't "bred" the clues in the title!

WestieMamma · 02/04/2013 14:24

That's a bit rude Ghanagirl. The vast majority of mumsnet content has nothing to do with being a mum.

MrsSpagBol · 02/04/2013 14:25

Ghanagirl - I am pregnant.

Is that ok with you?

Are you the Mumsnet licence giver? Why do I need to have birthed a child to be on here?

MrsSpagBol · 02/04/2013 14:26

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

Ghanagirl · 02/04/2013 14:33

just wondered why people come on here to have a go at people who have "bred" as you'll find out being a mum can be really hard work and tiring and encountering someone who won't get out of the way just because they think the other person feels "entitled" in some way can be demoralising

Ghanagirl · 02/04/2013 14:36

And I'm neither an idiot or presumptuous, just expressing my opinion

MrsSpagBol · 02/04/2013 14:39

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

Ghanagirl · 02/04/2013 14:46

Bowing out MrsSpagBol very spiteful and hysterical post.

MrsSpagBol · 02/04/2013 14:49

????

"Mrsspagbol why are you on mumsnet if you haven't "bred" the clues in the title! "

But this is polite to you?

You don't even know me!

AND you did not read my posts properly!
But you still decided to single me out on a thread and question my entitlement to be on the website?

But I am the one who is spiteful?!

TwelveLeggedWalk · 02/04/2013 14:53

A bit of common sense and manners is all that's needed, but I agree with the poster who is baffled by people's expectations that you can somehow shrink.

I have a twin side-by-side buggy, and am usually walking a very large dog. This makes me a massive obstruction and I often walk in the road to keep out of people's way, but I often can't get into the road, e.g if cars are parked close together. The number of people who see me up ahead taking up X amount of space on the pavement and somehow expect that by the time they have reached me I will somehow take up considerably LESS space is just bizarre!

IdaClair · 02/04/2013 15:26

YANBU to think basic consideration and politeness are good things. It's generally nice when people go out of their way to make your day easier.

YABU to expect them to, and YABU to take up large amounts of space on a pedestrian only area and expect other pedestrians to move out of your way.

I'm bloody glad I've never used a pushchair though reading this and hope I never have to - it sounds like a nightmare of pushing and shoving. I gave up supermarket shopping for a similar reason. Too much trolley rage. I bet I'd get pushchair rage too.

wibblyjelly · 02/04/2013 15:50

I will always move out the way, whether ds is with me in his pram, or if I'm out alone. It's the polite thing to do, and it literally takes a second out of my day to do so. What does annoy me is the amount of people who don't thank or even make eye contact with you, when they can see you have gotten out of the way.

CakeForBreakfast · 02/04/2013 15:59

There is a hierarchy, it is a mark of civilisation to have an unspoken understanding of the order of these things

Disabled and very elderly trumps all else. They have Right of Way
School Parties - lines of little 'uns walking crocodile fashion to get to places,
ME - I got twins in a buggy and a 5 year old and 3 year old walking next to me
OTHER Prams with less kids than me!

On the occasions I walk without kids, I move out of everyone elses way.

I think that settles it.

MintyyAeroEgg · 02/04/2013 16:00

Only read about 10 posts, but this is an April Fools thread isn't it?

crashdoll · 02/04/2013 16:02

I disagree that there is a hierarchy. Sometimes it's easier for a pushchair owner to move and sometimes it isn't. Just because you have a buggy does mean you never have to move.

MrsSpagBol · 02/04/2013 16:05

What crashdoll said.

Cakeforbreakfast - what if i don't have a buggy but I have a broken ankle and am on crutches with a support boot (like my husband) - then I must move for you - healthy with a buggy with wheels and able to move or stop and wait. Come on now! Get over yourself!! Just because you have a buggy doesn't put you above anyone else!

SchroSawMargeryDaw · 02/04/2013 16:05

No one on here has said that they would never move for someone who obviously needs them to (bigger/twin buggy, wheelchair, major buggy, walking sticks, older person etc).

We're all quite happy to move when needed, just not for every single bloody person.

MintyyAeroEgg · 02/04/2013 16:13

If there is the remotest chance this is a serious thread, I will tell you something in all sincerity:

I would never move out of the way for a pushchair user. I would expect the pushchair user to move out of the way for me, if possible.

To be perfectly honest I thought this was the way of the world!

shushpenfold · 02/04/2013 16:17

YAB ridiculous and entirely unreasonable....steer dear, steer! A wheelchair is not in the same league as a pram, even a double one....trust me, I've pushed every blinkin sort of them.

sue52 · 02/04/2013 16:19

I always moved out of the way when I was at the pushchair using stage of my life, shopping or no shopping. I think most of my friends did likewise where possible.

MrsKoala · 02/04/2013 16:25

i find that odd mintyy. why? are they not citizens too? with as much right to the pavement. and if someone is on 2 easily manoeuvrable feet why would someone pushing something heavy move for them?

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