Aibu to expect abled people to move? (Pushchair related)

[Maryshoppins]

If I see a pushchair, wheel chair, person with 101 bags and so on, walking towards me, I would, without hesitation, move out of their way.

Why does it seem that whenever I am out and about with my pushchair, 9/10 times someone will continue to walk towards me with no intention of moving out the way, therefore I end up swerving at the last to move out of their pathway!

I'm particularly cross about this today, as I was walking towards a woman (and I don't mean intentionally to knock her down,) she continued to walk directly towards my pushchair, glaring at me as if to say 'are you going to move?'. For the first time, I didn't and we both came to a standstill. Sounds ridiculous I know, but I was finally fed up with the amount of rude people I encounter and wanted to be sure I wasn't completely over reacting! This lady called me all sorts, and walked past me in a huff!

Other mothers I have spoken to in the past say they encounter this a lot. But they just swerve out of the way to avoid confrontation.

I'm not normally one for causing a scene. But I am amazed that an abled person wouldn't consciously move out of the way of somebody that has a pushchair or struggling with shopping /children etc.

So, aibu?

[lljkk]

12 years of pushchair use & I never once noticed that people especially expected me to swerve.

Not that I mind, anyway. Am I supposed to? Why?

[Maryshoppins]

lljkk- well consider yourself very lucky! 11 years of pushing a pushchair (in a busy town) and unfortunately most pedestrians seem to expect I move all the time as I am clearly an inconvenience. Seeing as I always do, yes it does nark me ever so slightly. For someone like you who clearly encounters courteous people, it would be quite hard to understand why I'm frustrated with my predicament.

[lljkk]

Snarf at East Midlanders being called courteous.
Or maybe some of us don't make mountains out of molehills.

[crashdoll]

Very depressing that some people would rather make a point than make some poor woman with toddler and baby's life a little easier

How patronising. Do men not push buggies? And why is parenting such a hardship? As I said, I would move but I dislike the expectation that I should move. I would never purposely make someone else's life more tricky but I am not indebted to anyone simply because they have a child.

[Maryshoppins]

It's tedious that I'm being labeled on here as entitled or as someone making a mountain out of a molehill. This is a discussion forum. This issue is a tiny fraction of my life. I don't loose sleep over it and I don't let it spoil my day. However, I am within my rights to discuss my issue on here. The fact is, I am always the considerate one that privately fumes at other people's rudeness.

Parenting isn't a hardship. I've been doing it for years and I have never been precious or expected royal treatment for 'breeding' as one poster charmingly put it. But I find some people would prefer to railroad a person with a pushchair, out of principle because they are disgusted at the size of their pram, or because think the pushchair has inconvenienced them in some way. Rudeness!!

[Maryshoppins]

Crashdoll- if for example, I was walking towards you with that expectant face with no smile or acknowledgement, I'd expect you to be angry and not want to move. My issue is that I am ALWAYS polite, smile and STILL most people will not even acknowledge me, they just wait for me to move. Would you in my case,wait for me to move with my double pushchair in a crowded street???

[IdaClair]

Every day on the school run I walk along a narrow path, there are equal amounts of people coming by each way. It is wide enough for a person and a small pushchair to pass by - but only just. Either side of the path, at this time of year, is the most disgusting ankle depth sinking mud. I already wear wellies to do the run but the DC has to wear school shoes.

Many days we encounter a giant pram on the path coming towards us. No way round it.

Who should yield - ie who should go on the mud? Pram wheels, or me and my DC? By the way, I also take a baby on the school run, if that tips the scales of MN fairness.

[FakeHotCrossLobsters]

This thread (and the people who inspired it) reminds me of this old joke.

Believe it or not...this is the transcript of an actual radio conversation between a US naval ship and Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland in October 1995. The Radio conversation was released by the Chief of Naval Operations on Oct. 10, 1995.

US Ship: Please divert your course 0.5 degrees to the south to avoid a collision.

CND reply: Recommend you divert your course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision.

US Ship: This is the Captain of a US Navy Ship. I say again, divert your course.

CND reply: No. I say again, you divert YOUR course!

US Ship: THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER USS CORAL SEA*, WE ARE A LARGE WARSHIP OF THE US NAVY. DIVERT YOUR COURSE NOW!!

CND reply: This is a lighthouse. Your call.

Everyone seems to want to be the lighthouse now.

I've found the same thing OP, some people will not move even an inch regardless of their circumstances or yours, but they are always surprised/angry if nobody moves for them.

I was heavily pregnant and knocked to the floor by one man. I was standing still looking at a display in a shop and he walked towards me on my right hand side and just knocked me over, then shouted at me for being in his way and walked off. I hurt my arm and was very worried about my baby (third pregnancy after two late losses) and just sat on the floor and cried from the shock.

I tend to move for most people as well. I know my situation, I don't know theirs, but as I said earlier in the thread, I'm sure both people used to move slightly to avoid each other in the past and now that doesn't seem to be the case, you are either the lighthouse or the ship and most people now want to be the lighthouse.

[MrsSpagBol]

Maryshoppins - can I ask, what IS your issue with my posts??!! I really don't understand it.

I have just looked up the definition of breeding - and it is defined as follows:

"Breeding is the reproduction, that is, producing of offspring"

Can I ask what about that makes me so abhorrent?! Enough so that you feel the need to say "....for 'breeding' as one poster charmingly put it."

???

[stephrick]

I allways move for pushchairs, sometimes off the pavement, but that being said why do some people allow their children to walk on the traffic side of the pavement and not on the inside. This is a bug for me.

[Maryshoppins]

Mrsspagbol- to be fair I was talking about a poster way up thread. I generally find that when a person uses that term (all be it the correct term) it often comes across offensive and dismissive, like us mothers expect a gold star for having children! Maybe that's just me who feels that way?

[Maryshoppins]

Idaclaire- in that situation, the pushchair should move! I wouldn't expect right of way all the time. It completely depends on the situation ahead. I move for a parent and child/ren without a second thought! It never occurs to me to wait for them to move.

This is all getting rather out of context as fakehotcrossedlobsters mentioned. People sometimes will not budge an inch, but are angry or surprised when you don't.

[SneezingwakestheJesus]

I think breeding/bred does come across offensive sometimes because it sounds so similar as to when people want to insult parents so call them "breeders".

[MrsSpagBol]

Mary and Sneezing

you are entitled to take offense at whatever you words you wish to, but I am entitled to use whatever vocabulary I want to - especially if I am not using the word incorrectly (ie misusing it in terms of meaning).

Secondly, I never referred to anyone on this thread - Mary or others - I used the word in relation to myself!

Please read my posts properly. I feel I have been saying this all day! It's so frustrating when you hone in on one word by one poster and choose to take offense - when none was actually intended.

"I think breeding/bred does come across offensive sometimes because it sounds so similar as to when people want to insult parents so call them "breeders". "

When did I insult ANY parent on this thread?! I am pregnant - I am going to BE a parent (all things going well). FGS!

[SneezingwakestheJesus]

Erm, did I say what you said offended me? I was

[SneezingwakestheJesus]

Erm, did I say what you said offended me? I was pointing out why it comes across offensive to some. You sound very angry.

[MrsSpagBol]

I am not angry at all. But feel free to assume what you will. As I said, you can attribute offence (inferred or actual) to whatever you like.

[SneezingwakestheJesus]

I will. Thanks for the permission :)

[Maryshoppins]

Mrsspagbol - I did say someone else up thread. I don't particularly want to single that person out and say who, but it is in one of the 9 pages! No, I don't like the term, but yes, you are correct and you are well within your rights to use it!!

[AlbertoFrog]

Yes yes yes FakeHotCrossLobsters that sums it up perfectly.

Although I only become the lighthouse once in a blue moon. I much prefer sailing on calm seas.

Goodness there are some very intolerant people on here lately.

And I'm so bored of the "entitled" word being bandied about just because someone doesn't want to be pushed around all the time.

The OP moves for others. I move for others. Just sometimes we get fed up having to move for every goddamn pedestrian in the street. I swear some days it takes me 3 miles to walk 1 (disclaimer - that was mildly exaggerated)

[Maryshoppins]

Alberto- I couldn't agree more! I suppose I asked for it posting on Aibu. But it has got blown out of proportion. As I've said, it's a small fraction of my life, but 9 pages on, I'm still justifying myself!

[FierceBadIggi]

Must remember to pick up a "Congratulations for breeding!" card at the shops tomorrow for my expectant friend. Since it's such an acceptable term for people who have had babies.

[AlbertoFrog]

I once started a post in AIBU about lift etiquette. I thank God it was then and not now. I reckon I'd be flamed big time.

I do wonder sometimes if some posters just want an argument.

ie "I change my knickers every day AIBU?"

reply "YABU I change mine twice a day you minger!"

or "Think of what you're doing to the ozone layer with all those wash cycles - panties can be turned inside out and used again."

Good luck on your next outing Maryshoppins (may I recommend hiring an American Football costume? )

[Maryshoppins]

the last two post have tickled me :-)

and so very right! !

[crashdoll]

Mary In the same way you said you this was a tiny fraction of your life, it's probably most of ours too. It doesn't mean we don't enjoy wasting spending time debating over the small things in life. Hey, where have the Easter smileys gone??!!