AIBU to throttle DD???!!

[matchpoint]

Roughly four hours later and I am still frothing at the mouth.

Backstory: DD is 4 years old, and she and her sister have received (too) many Easter eggs from school, family friends, various well-meaning relatives etc. Both had a Creme egg for a treat after dinner, and the rest of their haul of Easter eggs are living in the kitchen to be dished out as appropriate over the next year/eaten by me (seriously, there are a lot).

I come downstairs to get DD up for bathtime, and she has opened and eaten parts of five eggs, two of which she knew were not hers. There was chocolate in little bits all over the floor, some of which melted and it took ages to clean up.

When asked about it, DD lied to my face that it wasn't her, but eventually fessed up (her sister is innocent in this affair). I went absolutely batshit crazy at her, and I don't feel guilty. She was sneaky, greedy and she lied to my face. She knows better. DD was sent straight to bed, no bath, no story, cried for ages, now asleep.

I'm thinking that she gets no more Easter eggs; and also want to ban her from the iPad for the next week. DH is a bit of a softy, and reckons being shouted at and sent to bed was punishment enough.

DH thinks this is too harsh; my worry is that she will see it as a not a bad trade-off---snuck into Easter eggs, Mummy shouted a bit, but she still got chocolate. MN thoughts please??

ChasingDogs, yy, I think I am a much calmer (and better) parent for finding this forum, and reading advice from so many other people.

Aye, me too LR if the truth be known.

And my DCs are grateful for it!

I agree. I am a far better parent thanks to MN. I wish I had been on it when ds was smaller because I didn't have a clue then.

You should maybe have let her gorge herself silly on day 1 and 2 then no rations necessary

Oooh! Jumped in after page 1. . now this is interesting. . .

Poor little girl

I can't imagine leaving a 4 year old to cry herself to sleep - it would break my heart.

Way OTT op. I'd love to say more...

I would have loved MN when my DCs were small and my husband 'departed'. I hope the OP here starts a new thread, maybe with a name change, and simply asks for advice and some friendly support (and banter - it's quite witty here, too). There would be loads of help.

Rapunzul, far from accusing others of extrapulating to serve their own needs, you have done very well to do so yourself. How do you know that the OP spent hours doing something else rather than (in her own words) frothing for 4 hours?

Yes, 300 odd posters here are all following mov mentality. Cos we is all fick and we got nufink beta 2 to do Or perhaps it's a bunch of well meaning parents who are deeply concerned for the welfare of a 4 year old child - based on what her mother has written.

I have avoided mn for months. Mostly because most of what I usually read seems so trivial (sorry lovely MNers). But in this case the OP needs a swift kick up the arse to remember perspective. 4. year. old. child. easter. chocolate. nicks a bit. Remember? !

Rapunzul, Rapunzul. ..perhaps you've let your hair down too far and you're trying to be too all encompassin

rapunzel - it is a matter of fact that the op said she went bat shit crazy. That is not appropriate. At all. Therefore surmising whether she spent 3 hours watching tv or not before posting is all a bit meaningless.

Separately, it's human nature for people to comment or discuss something that they find shocking or upsetting. This is not mob mentality but because posters literally seem to feel that they can't walk away without comment as they are concerned for a little girl. What would you suggest, that MN only allows one response per thread to prevent this happening?!

The tooth thing is complete and utter tosh - my DH is a dentist and apparently '"inheriting" weak tooth enamel is extremely rare. I Tooth enamel can be compromised due to childhood illness but this is also pretty rare and the op would be aware of this. Instead most decay is caused by poor oral hygiene and diet. Doling out bits of chocolate over a longer period is actually less tooth kind than getting it over and done with in a shorter period. In any event, eating some extra chocolate that day is going to have no real effect on the child's teeth presuming that the op cleaned her teeth later (oh the irony if she didn't in her rage). It's systemic patterns that matter. All of this will have been explained by the dentist. I'm sure pretty much all of us on this thread know it - it's basic dental knowledge. You don't need a flippin' dental degree to know that what the OP is saying is self serving rubbish to try and justify a massive over reaction.

Th op seems to have gone, but just in case she reads this (and everyone else), here is some objective advice: It is extremely hard, if not impossible, for under 5 year olds to delay gratification and leave visible, unattended chocolate alone (this has been researched). If they are able to, they are either ahead in development in this aspect, or scared of the consequences. A child behaving age appropriately in thus aspect us not greedy.

Secondly, lying is not always about wanting to deceive. At that age, more times than not, it is about wishful thinking or simply a defensive reflex. The adult's role is to point out to the child that they might indeed wish that they hadn't done whatever, but that it is important to tell the truth and give reasons for it. When the child is older, they will be able to gradually understand. Calling a four year old a liar is very harsh and unnecessary. Potentially even damaging.

Incidentally, isn't fruit bad (in many cases worse than choc because of the acid) for the teeth as well? Surely you do not restrict fruit, op? Give chocolate, but brush teeth or offer gum afterwards- done!

Also I have to mention that my parents restricted my sweet intake very heavily mainly on account of tooth health. I see it as one of the contributing factors in my later anorexia and bulimia, because I became obsessed with sweets. I know others with the same history and conditions, so I would be just a bit more lenient if I were you.

Oh dear I gave ds3 just turned 2 a whole button Easter egg and let him get on with it. He had a bit then got bored.

If he could have gotten his hands on more he would probably have opened all of them to see what they tasted like.

I think the punishment was a bit excessive, tell her off and make her give her sister some of hers back but leaving her to cry to sleep was cruel.

And just brush their teeth well after eating, Having too much chocolate at Easter is hardly going to ruin their teeth

Oh and everything toys said there ^

I agree with everything Rapunzel has written over the last few pages. Well said.

Do you NewMia. I don't. I suggest Rapunzel has some fairly deep rooted food issues.

It was Easter OP. You completely overreacted and I hope you have made up with your daughter. She's only a baby.

I don't see any examples of mob mentality on this very long thread but on the contrary considered and often very personal responses from a range of people.
Most people have expressed concern for the little girl and have tried to offer some genuine advice to the OP.
I think people are still posting because it has struck a chord and also because the OP might still be reading and reflecting.

She was 4 in 2013

Why bump a thread so bloody old the subject is nearly old enough to leave school

She's 4.
It was Easter.

You punished her by...not bathing her. Weird.
You continued to punish her by letting her cry 'for ages'..
Considering even further punishment..

Yeah, I don't understand why you thought this could possibly go in your favour. Remember, you were a child once too. If that's the kind of treatment you received when you'd do perfectly normal small child things be 'naughty', think about whether you're actually happy now. If you're happy inflicting that kind of fear and sadness onto your children, then you're not a truly happy or good person.

Do better.

Just seen that this is an old thread. My mistake not reading dates, but my thought still stands regardless. Hopefully OP learnt to better manage her emotions.