AIBU to throttle DD???!!

[matchpoint]

Roughly four hours later and I am still frothing at the mouth.

Backstory: DD is 4 years old, and she and her sister have received (too) many Easter eggs from school, family friends, various well-meaning relatives etc. Both had a Creme egg for a treat after dinner, and the rest of their haul of Easter eggs are living in the kitchen to be dished out as appropriate over the next year/eaten by me (seriously, there are a lot).

I come downstairs to get DD up for bathtime, and she has opened and eaten parts of five eggs, two of which she knew were not hers. There was chocolate in little bits all over the floor, some of which melted and it took ages to clean up.

When asked about it, DD lied to my face that it wasn't her, but eventually fessed up (her sister is innocent in this affair). I went absolutely batshit crazy at her, and I don't feel guilty. She was sneaky, greedy and she lied to my face. She knows better. DD was sent straight to bed, no bath, no story, cried for ages, now asleep.

I'm thinking that she gets no more Easter eggs; and also want to ban her from the iPad for the next week. DH is a bit of a softy, and reckons being shouted at and sent to bed was punishment enough.

DH thinks this is too harsh; my worry is that she will see it as a not a bad trade-off---snuck into Easter eggs, Mummy shouted a bit, but she still got chocolate. MN thoughts please??

Doesn't the thought of her crying herself to sleep make you feel sad now you've calmed down? Doesn't it make you want to give her a big hug tomorrow and reassure her that mummy really does love her? It makes me want to do that and she's not even my child!

I just hope that the OP sleeps on this and decides to just let it go now and is nice to her DD tomorrow. I'm worried that this will turn into one of those situations where you see a mother going batshit crazy at a child in public, the mother is taken to task over it or glared at, gets defensive and takes it out on the child further at home :(

OP please, just let it go now - you have been flamed and its not very nice. I would be going to bed and thinking about spending a nice day with your family tomorrow

What about if she'd come downstairs on Christmas eve and ripped open and trashed loads of presents including her sisters things. Would that be equally "kids will be kids"? Or is it different because it's food?

She ate two of her sisters eggs? For the bazillionth time shes FOUR, in all the excitement of chocolate eating heaven she may not have realised they wernt hers. Ffs you are expecting her to behave and have the sense and control of an adult!

A relative of mine was very strict about sugar intake with her boys.
It didnt end well.

Is OP a troll?

Rapunzel - those are some serious issues. Get help!

I'd be sitting here feeling like absolute crap counting the hours till she woke up and I could say sorry to her and give her a big cuddle. Do you not feel that way OP?

No I'd be very and at that Rapunzel but I hope I would still remember that she is only 4.

Rapunzel How do you expect a 4 year old to have any self control when her mother cannot even control her temper over a few bits of chocolate?

When one of your main role models is going batshit crazy and is still frothing hours and hours later, over a few morsels of chocolate, I wouldn't expect the children to have any self control when that is the example they are being set.

How odd to think the children should have self control when they have probably never seen it demonstrated by their mother.

'I think trashing five chocolate eggs, spreading the bits all over and stuffing your face is really appalling behaviour'

It's not appalling at all, naughty maybe, but it doesn't make the child an inherently bad person.

You've admitted you get irrationally upset with your little 3 YO wanting to try different foods.

That's about you, not them.

Baking is all about them eating more ingredients than go in the bowl, it's a time when they can eat bits and bobs they don't normally get, and why would you not want her to see what butter tastes like?

You're missing out by taking it too seriously.

Honestly?

You sound like a raving lunatic.

I just advance searched, candlestick but it seems both OP and rapunzel are existing posters, must say I thought some sock puppetry maybe but seems not.

Awful thread. Awful thread title - 'throttle' a 4 year-old? Even as a 'joke' that is repulsive language. I hope, for your family's sake, you are starting to get an inkling of how wrong your behaviour was.

i got the strop with my DS once when he spilt his cold water on me, i told him off told him to get into bed, got changed and got him a new drink, he was in bed asleep when i got back and i woke him to say sorry id shouted. I felt so guilty! This many hours after you should be feeling very guilty that your DD cried herself to sleep without even a bath and hug goodnight!!!!!

I just feel sad that your 4 year old daughter cried herself to sleep. To hell with the rest of it.

No matter what happens here, we always go to bed on a kiss and cuddle. I'm sad for her.

She is only 4! All of your replies and your OP really don't seem to be taking this into account.

Oh do get a life, I've been on mumsnet since I was ttc in 2009.

Sorry the idea that someone doesn't agree with you is so deeply shocking you assume it must be a trick :)

Jesus I have poor emotional regulation as part of my mental illness, but between the OP and Rapunzel I'm sounding pretty freaking normal right now.

OP, all your plans of punishment and what you will do with her remaining eggs, etc., are far, far worse behaviour than anything your very young child did. She is small, with poor impulse control and what you expected from her is simply developmentally if not impossible then extremely difficult. YOU, on the other hand, are a grown adult with proper self-control, understanding, wisdom, pereption, etc., and YOU are finding it nigh on impossible to behave in ways that you surely must know are totally wrong, unfair, bad, etc. You are expecting more from her than you are from yourself. Tell me, do you identify things in her thag you dislike in yourself, things that you were made to feel bad about by your own parents? Forgive the amateur analysis, it's just that everything you wrote about her screams 'TRANSFERENCE ISSUES!!!'.

She messed up some chocolate bloody eggs. You believe that this makes it perfectly alright for you to mess up her sense of self-worth and her bond with you. If you cannot see that how you are behaving towards her is far, far worse than what she did with the eggs, then your family is in a real mess.

And YOU won't face the consequences of your cruel, OTT parenting where you allow yourself to luxuriate in your own issues about not being made a fool of, or whatever it is your DD has been allocated to be your whipping boy for. She will.

No I thought the only person who agreed with OP must be Op herself

And yes, we always ALWAYS make up before bed time. Never go to sleep angry.

I wish I hadn't read this thread . I keep thinking OP is going to come back and realise that she's been harsh, regret letting her cry to sleep and that she'll make it up to her tomorrow. It's not going to happen is it?

[Sad] just given my dc hugs. I can be very shouty i admit it, but always always regret it afterwards. And that is why i made a promise to myself I would tell dc I love them no matter what every single night, because I may not get a chance to say it again.
Lifes too short OP, your dc will be teenagers before you know it. Teaching them its ok to go crazy over some fucking chocolate is NOT ok. Get your priorities right.

I am surprised you don't feel even a little bit bad? NO 4 yr old should have to cry themselves to sleep over something so ridiculous as this.

She's still a baby really!!!!!