to think you won't want to go diving 3 weeks after giving birth

[ParadiseChick]

That's right, diving. On a pretty much restarted island. 5 hours drive away from your baby...

My darljng, crazy sister is 39 and expecting her first baby in July. She lives in south east Asia with her dh, both British but been out there for 7 years now. Charmed life, big income, large house, live in maid etc etc.

I've just got back from my mums who had her weekly Skype with ds is this morning. Mum has booked to go out to my sister's about 3 weeks after the baby is due to meet the baby, see my sister and help out. Today my sister asked mum if she would look after the baby for 3 nights whilst they go on a diving trip.

Sis and her dh are seasoned, experienced divers and pre pregnancy would be away on dive trips once a month. She's obviously itching to do it again as she hasn't been able to whilst pregnant.

She's planning to bf but will express.

The island they dive on is a 4 hour drive and 30 minutes on a boat. It is pretty much deserted apart from the dive club, only has power a few hours a day when the generator is put on to refill the tanks. I've been, it's stunning, but bloody cut off!

Mum is going out on her own, isn't that confident in the country, sticks to their pool and whatever restaurant the y drive her to of an evening. She'd be happier in an exclusive beach resort but hasn't had a holiday like that for years because she goes out to see dsis every year.

Mum said no. She's happy to look after the baby so they can go out for a meal or whatever but not 3 nights with a new born n a country isn't familiar with or confident in.

Sis took the higher and said something along the line of but you look after paradise kids. Yes, she's had ours overnight on a regular basis from about 12 weeks but we're 30minutes down the road on the end of a phone if need be.

All that aside - wtf? Diving? 3 weeks post birth I still felt like my insides were falling out if I walked any longer than 10 minutes and a bra hurt never mind a fucking wet suit!

[PeneloPeePitstop]

Omg want2b how very sad that you have to live in that situation.

[TheDoctrineOfSnatch]

Your mum is there for ten days, flying 15 hours each way and your sister is disappearing off for four of them [shocked]

SIBU - regardless of the baby factor.

[Want2bSupermum]

Miaow I could say I was in my prepregnancy clothes after DS (my 2nd) after 2wks. That is only because I didn't lose all my weight from my first! Yes you are a freak... one that I am very jealous of!

I am on the Liz Hurley post partum diet of eating not a lot - just fruit, veg and proper portions of meat. I am 25lbs off my wedding day weight and I only got married 4.5 years ago.

[ParadiseChick]

You know the more I think about it the more I think he might be the driving force.

He's an alright guy but a bit of a hooray henry wannabe. Yes he earns good money, but she earns more. Over here he'd be earning below average wages but over there with the gift of the gab and no regulation he thinks he's the bees knees. He mixes with big wigs, just has this attitude about him I don't like.

I can see him grudgingly agreeing to no dive trips whilst the baby is brewing but seizing the opportunity of mums visit.

[motherinferior]

Want2be, please tell me you are joking. Please.

[PacificDogwood]

Want2be, I have witness the situation you are describing when this happened to a friend.

Another friend insisted they came home to the UK from Malaysia before she agreed to try for DCs... she knew why .

[motherinferior]

Six weeks of no sex is a moment of weakness????

[SelfconfessedSpoonyFucker]

I don't know if you are referring to me, I'm assuming you are as I addressed you directly.

If you are, yes I read the whole post. I assure you I have the skill to do so and comprehend it regardless of your insult.

I stick to my post. You have no way of knowing if diving could cause a DVT if you did it tomorrow, even if you did one yesterday, even if you feel you could jump to the moon, even if you found some doctor to clear you and a dive shop to take you.

Yeah you might be a freak of nature, still a big risk.

Oh and I left the hospital with DC#1 in my prepg clothes. Not a huge feat seeing as 1) I was overweight and 2) was really sick during my pg and lost a bunch of weight in the first and second trimester.

[Want2bSupermum]

PPP It isn't the situation that I live in per se. My eyes are open and I know what I am dealing with. Some on here have called me controlling. That might be but it is for a darn good reason. I trust DH, I just don't trust these other women. They can be highly manipulative. I don't want my DC's to grow up without their father in the home.

Also, the bad comes with the good, I just have a different set of problems. I thank my lucky stars that we are not trying to find a way to feed ourselves and put a roof over our heads.

[Pandemoniaa]

I'm a day short of 2 weeks after DD2 - physically I'd be up to it (well if I was ever physically up to it PRE-child... which I ain't) but apparently I'm barking mad and a freak of nature that I'm out and about as normal and in my pre-pregnancy clothes already...

So was I since I ate Christmas Dinner in my normal jeans 13 days after having ds2 and life had already returned to what passed as normality. Thank fuck nobody expected me to go diving as well though

I'd also agree with others who say that you've got no idea what you'll feel like after having a baby though. Especially your first baby.

[SaggyOldClothCatPuss]

IIWY I would just smile and nod.
Your Mum knows whats what, she isnt going to do it, so just sit back and enjoy the fact that your poor sister is going to be in for a rude awakening.

[TheAccidentalEgghibitionist]

Pleease someone put up a link to the thread where the mum wanted to leave her baby in SCBU to go on holiday??

[motherinferior]

You do trust your DH but you think he might somehow be taken advantage of by a woman paid to work in his house because he was so vulnerable on account of not having had penetrative sex for a month?

[Want2bSupermum]

motherinferior I am not bf and my calorie intake is 1350-1450 a day.

The weight thing is me and not DH. I really don't like being wibbly wobbly and I am itching to go for a run. I didn't run for my entire pregnancy and I had a CS. I can't wait to wear my old clothes again and I am dreading another summer being this big. For me, I handle the heat a lot better when I weigh less.

[swallowedAfly]

guess which posts have made me feel positively queasy?

[motherinferior]

I meant the other stuff not the weight loss!

[SelfconfessedSpoonyFucker]

Smart people do not deliberately put themselves in the path of disaster despite how much they are convinced they won't get hurt.

I think Want2be is smart.

[EuroShaggleton]

I'm a diver and this plan is madness. She will be at a risk of infection from any wounds and a cervix that hasn't yet fully closed, not to mention all the other health risks. Diving is physically HARD - you are wearing a belt with several kilos of lead around your abdomen to weigh you down, the tanks weigh a ton, currents can require some hardcore swimming if you don't want to be pushed into rough coral or worse. And your poor mum! The whole thing is absolutely crazy!

[mombie]

I think your sister could do withabit of support and guidance from you or your mum. she needs reassureing that your mum's refusal is based on her experiance with babies and not because of any favouritism towards you. She needs to know that you have her best interests and health at heart. She may find it difficult once the baby is here, esp if she has unrealistic expectations and pressure from dh. With no proper support system, she needs to know she has you guys.

[lurkedtoolong]

I'm a diver too and while I've not had a baby and know nothing about going back to diving after pregnancy/childbirth I do know what it's like going back after illness (I know it's not the same, I'm thinking more of the extended break/change in body condition).

I haven't been diving in several months due to severe migraines and I'm really nervous about going back due to the physical and mental demands. As Euro says above there are so many physical challenges that your Sis will have to consider that I won't have. If I was your mum I'd smile, nod and agree to the plan... chances are diving will be the last thing on your sister's mind, no matter what her husband wants to do.

[TheDoctrineOfSnatch]

Is she on any diving talkboards where she could ask about this?

[foreverondiet]

1. Totally impossible to express three days worth of milk..
2. If she doesn't pump 6-8 times a day for 45 mins at a time her milk will dwindle - plus she might be uncomfortable during a dive and end up with mastitis
3. Probably will still be bleeding and if cs or stitches may still have wound

Not your business but just not possible unless totally straightforward birth with no tearing or significant bruising also acceptance of bottle feeding.

[AnneElliott]

I remember the thread about the waterskiing after birth and leaving thd baby. That wasn't the posters first baby though was it? And the dad was staying behind with the nanny IIRC? I think the OP left or name changed after that thread!

[foreverondiet]

Re: lochia - mine had stopped by 2 weeks each time and I took older dc swimming when ds2 was 2 weeks old - but I had no bruising or tearing and midwife thought it ok