Childcare costs- someone talk me through the outrage

[Suzietwo]

Is it just me or does it seem a bit grabby of mothers to be getting cross about the change to child care rules?

I thought the rules were being changed to try and encourage people to work. Ie to give them more choice and be option generating aka A. Good. Thing.

But the stay at home mums voice in the media just sounds a bit self important.

Don't misunderstand me, I am entirely on favour of people and families making decisions which suit them. This isn't about that. It's about people being a bit....indulged? Make a choice, stick with it. The more choices which are available the better so if the gvnt can help (a different argument about whether they should) by offering money to assist people go to work, then fab. But don't demand it for making the choice to stay at home.

Goldenbear you seem intent on harassing me and continue with the slightly stalking behaviour even after been asked to stop. As a result you have left me no option but to report your behaviour to MN. Hopefully they may be able to do something about your internet trolling.

This discussion is about the OPs question. My life, my family, what I choose to reveal on MN and how I choose to live my life is non of your business.

I'm really struggling to see how goldenbear is stalking anyone.
Can we all please remember that this is a public discussion forum where people with different, often opposing opinions, will come to discuss, debate and air their views. Irritates me no end when someone uses a loaded word like 'stalking' out of context. And I speak as someone who has been stalked in real life, so I understand what the word actually means.

you haven't read the comments or seem the previous thread stepaway.

Yes, I have.

which part is 'stalking?''

I would say stalking and harassment is behaviour that is repeated and unwanted by the person it's directed at (in this case - me). Which this has and although it may seem normal to others when it is causing alarm to the intended target then I would class it as slightly stalking behaviour.. This doesn?t have to be in person. It can be via phone, text, internet (in this case). I have requested it stop on a number of occassions and continue with the discussion at hand, but it hasn't so I am unconfortable with it and have report it as such.

GoldenBear.

In response to your post above. I was not the only person who found your comments to LittleChickpea out of order. You weren't trying to establish any fact but calling her a liar.
I probably have more common ground akin to your thinking than Chickpea and have so far not really agreed with many of her points. I do agree with many of yours. But I do not think it fair to treat people the way you have treated her.

I'm still waiting to have the 'stalking' element explained?

I have read threads that are pertinent to me and the above poster has started them or written a lot of posts on them- I'm hardly going to forget the information she has divulged, hence the confusion.

Equally, I think she/he did the same I.e referred to another thread that I had posted on where I had been outed as a liar(apparently) by her. Is she stalking me- no I don't think so.

people need to ignore or stepawayfromthescreen.
If you don't pour fuel on a fire, it won't burn.

Step I have made my point clear above and that's the end of this discussion on this particular topic as far as I am concerned. Whether you accept my reasons if your choice.

The post upthread from Goldenbear was a disgraceful personal attack, which several of us objected to at the time. It doesn't matter what view you hold about how public money should be used : there is no excuse for a vicious personal attack. Also I have not seen any evidence on the thread that littlechick has told people they should emulate her, which is an accusation Goldenbear keeps making. Quite the opposite I'd say- quite a number of us have said time and time again that as WOHP we are not out to 'convert' anybody- each to their own, if you want to stay at home then fine.

'several'? Is that true? No Janey I didn't say that she told us to 'emulate' her, it is called inference.

Ps- and the other thing this thread highlights to me is the total mistrust a few posters have about other people. They expect everyone to take their own posts at face value, but assume other people are lying. That's such a weird mindset. If someone posts that they are really happy as a SAHM and their children are thriving, then I accept that as true. Yet when a WOHM posts that she and her kids are happy, it seems 'acceptable' for a few posters to start questioning that- as if they know our children better than we do! Or they tell an anecdote about the dreadful nursery along their road - well, hello, why is that relevant to me?! It's like me telling an anecdote about mrs smith the SAHM down the road who smokes 40 a day and sticks her kids in front of the telly. Not relevant.
MN would be a better place if people worked on the basis that each of us know OUR family and OUR circumstances best. That should hold
True whatever ones personal view of the topic being discussed.

Well normally I would take at face value but it's the complete contradictions I'm struggling with, especially when they are suggesting that they have made it work really well.

So Janey all Wp are happy,their children are happy and they have no wish for any help to be with their dc more?

Sorry don't buy that.

The vast maj I know want more home with their dc not less,feel they get no help and far too busy actually err working to spend the time you do on this thread arguing the need for 2x working parents and refusing to discuss what is in the best interests of many children.

Children have needs.These needs shouldn't be ignored in any discussion but because you don't like acknowledging the needs of young,growing children you think you can pick and choose what posters post.Well you can't particularly when re judging choices there are far more judging of the whinging,grasping SAHMs than wp's on this thread.

Here's a thought why don't you close your laptop and go out in the sun with your dc,you're clearly doing buggar all work.

Tis exactly what I'm going to do-adios!

Janey

Such true words buttttttt. Sorry, I do talk about some bad child care but merely in context to my own experience. I do always (I hope) add that its only around here I have witnessed this.
I think it is relevant when talking about childcare and options.
I don't like the sound of your Mrs Smith tbh

There's an interesting thread on chat about social class, its quite funny see you all soon.

Squarepebbles- READ the posts!!
I am not claiming to know what all WOHP feel, I keep saying I know MY children, MY situation.
YOU are the one claiming to speak for other people! You're right about one thing though squarepebbles, I am doing buggar (sic) all work, because I'm taking some leave- yeap, we do get that in the world of work yknow

Morethan- oh I agree, perfectly valid to talk about your own experience if for example you've looked at childcare options and not found any suitable. If I were living in your area, I'd have a real dilemma if the nurseries were all not up to scratch- for me it would mean looking at other options eg child minder, going further afield with looking at nurseries or considering whether dh or me needed to give up our work as the solution. It certainly wouldn't be an easy decision any way you look at it, but of course however much someone enjoys their career, the childrens needs come first. I'm very glad not to have that dilemna anyway. Your posts are a far cry from square pebbles, who seems to think she speaks for all WOHP!!

is incredible how much time is devoted by busy, high powered full time working mums have to writing very long, frequent, detailed posts on discussion forums. And always on the same, same, same subject.

And big LOLz @Janey for describing goldenbears posts as 'vicious and disgraceful!!!!! I'm still looking for the disgrace and the viciousness. Someone needs to direct me to it!

The elephant in the room in all these debates is what's good for the children. Nobody discusses that. Apparently this is a pesky side issue, irrelevant to the other bigger ishoos. I don't imagine there are very many, if any, children from normal, average homes, who'd be better off in daycare settings. This is the unspeakable elephant in the room, both here and in Westminster. A baby/small child is always going to be better off with one attachment figure, rather than sharing a key worker with several others. Always.

I don't see what you find funny about her attack... Weird sense of humour. And you're worrying too much about other people finding time to post- perhaps some people just have good time management