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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Childcare costs- someone talk me through the outrage

446 replies

Suzietwo · 31/03/2013 15:00

Is it just me or does it seem a bit grabby of mothers to be getting cross about the change to child care rules?

I thought the rules were being changed to try and encourage people to work. Ie to give them more choice and be option generating aka A. Good. Thing.

But the stay at home mums voice in the media just sounds a bit self important.

Don't misunderstand me, I am entirely on favour of people and families making decisions which suit them. This isn't about that. It's about people being a bit....indulged? Make a choice, stick with it. The more choices which are available the better so if the gvnt can help (a different argument about whether they should) by offering money to assist people go to work, then fab. But don't demand it for making the choice to stay at home.

OP posts:

janey68 · 02/04/2013 13:40

Why does littlechick need to explain how she runs her life to anyone? Why isn't it enough to Trust that she knows her children, her life style etc? We're not asking any SAHP to justify or explain their choices. Just be happy doing what you're doing. What works for one person doesnt work for another.

LittleChickpea · 02/04/2013 13:42

Golden bear this is my last message to you ever because I prefer to not communicate with people like you. Firstly you are aware that I have two adopted children and secondly you are aware that I only came onto MN because DF and I had fallen pregnant with our first child together which I mc. Now just because I didn't mention my adopted DC when I was mc means nothing.

Yes DF and I have successful careers in high pressure roles and we are both HR tax payers. But I don't need to explain myself to you. I am so irrated by your comment I felt I needed to respond before my meeting.

There is nothing you can write that will justified your idiotic and childish note earlier. Anyone can see you for what you are and you are now trying to claw your way out of a childish comment. I have no time for you and your BS.

Let's not forget it was you that was caught out right lying on the previous thread..

Goldenbear · 02/04/2013 13:42

It's not about disagreements, it's about not wanting to be preached at and belittled about a subject someone is claiming to have insight into but in fact may not.

janey68 · 02/04/2013 13:47

No one is preaching at you to change your life though Goldenbear. You want to be a SAHM so be one- and let the rest of us enjoy our lives. I'm not asking you for a blow by blow account of your day, what you do with your kids, what they have for lunch etc etc- why would I? So why on earth would you need to know the minutiae of anyone else's life?

Goldenbear · 02/04/2013 13:50

Janey, it's not about justifying lifestyle choices, something doesn't add up with any of this.

janey68 · 02/04/2013 13:52

You seemed to be complaining a minute ago that other people
We're expecting you to emulate them. I've seen no evidence of that. People are saying the opposite: live the life you choose and be happy with it.

Goldenbear · 02/04/2013 13:52

'Outright lying' little please explain?

BoysAreLikeDogs · 02/04/2013 13:54

if you think something is not adding up please take your concerns to MNHQ , email [email protected]

a reminder of the rules for you

Goldenbear · 02/04/2013 13:54

Basically I have issue with preaching that has no substance.

Goldenbear · 02/04/2013 13:56

I know the rules I've been posting on here since 2007!

BoysAreLikeDogs · 02/04/2013 13:57

well it does rather appear that you don't so please forgive me

Goldenbear · 02/04/2013 13:58

Squarepebbles · 02/04/2013 14:04

Janey there has been plenty of preaching and making of sahp justify their roles if you read back through the thread- plenty!

Original poster

Suzietwo · 02/04/2013 14:04

Some things: a) i don't think the gvnt has any place encouraging women to stay at home or return to work. We can make our own minds up
B) I don't think women need encouraging to stay at home. Our natural instinct after having a baby (hormones n stuff) tend to make us want to do so. They do tend to need additional encouragement to return to work place
C) personally I think working in some form or other is good for everyone. Keeps horizons and options open. And gives you a break from home. I recognise this is personal but does form my view expressed at (c) above. I am allowed to hold views.
D) I am new. I had a previous name of zoelda which you can look up if you like. You'll see a smattering of posts over a year or so but not many. You will find out I am trying to reduce my weight from 11 st to 10. I am halfway there.
E) my suspicion that mumsnet would be a hornets nest of hormones holds. I don't understand the need to be judgemental or unaccepting of other people's views and life choices. It stinks of insecurity.

Let the flaying begin

OP posts:

Wishihadabs · 02/04/2013 14:07

Morethan the other parent ! That's what we did and my dsis has recently done.If the other parent can't take 1/2 day out to support their partner then I think it is unlikely they would support them in the workplace.

Squarepebbles · 02/04/2013 14:09

Err Suzie I think you need to read your own posts.

Original poster

Suzietwo · 02/04/2013 14:12

Probably but I'm on a train w 2% battery....so.

OP posts:

Wishihadabs · 02/04/2013 14:20

Btw when I say we I mean exactly that my DH has taken time off for me to attend interviews and I have rearranged shifts to enable him to return to the workplace after SAH.

I have never suggested that people might not need some childcare to retrain.

Wishihadabs · 02/04/2013 14:25

Morethan I think we have been here before. You don't want to WOH which is of course your right. So why continually post about why you would find it difficult to do something you don't want to do anyway ?

Startail · 02/04/2013 14:30

Because it's always my DH and My DCs, Higher rate tax and losing their Child benefit, that subsidise the choice of families to use childcare.

Subsidising childcare just allows companies, schools, the NHS and local councils to continue paying shit wages for a lot of the jobs women do.

ReallyTired · 02/04/2013 14:44

"Subsidising childcare just allows companies, schools, the NHS and local councils to continue paying shit wages for a lot of the jobs women do. "

Such women won't have access to the childcare vouchers because they will probably be earning less than 10K if they are working part time.

janey68 · 02/04/2013 14:54

People use childcare to work. People who work contribute economically. There is also a wealth of evidence to show that women who remain in work, be it full or part time, during the period when children are small and childcare costs are high, are more likely to increase their earning potential in the future. Those are facts. Be a SAHP if you want- your choice- but don't complain that you your husband is subsiding the rest of the workforce because it isn't true.

The govt is interested in generating a healthy viable economy. It wouldn't be subsidising childcare if it was just to provide a nice little break for women- does anyone think the govt really care about that? Of course they don't. They are interested in economics. If it were better for the economy to have women out of the workplace you can bet your life they'd be chasing us out with incentives to keep us at home. So it's rather hard to see how anyone can genuinely believe that having a SAHP is somehow making some valuable contribution to public funds. They may well be making a valuable contribution to their own family's personal lifestyle, but let's not kid ourselves they are somehow 'paying ' for the rest of the workforce.

Original poster

Suzietwo · 02/04/2013 14:59

janey, i dont know how you can be arsed...!

OP posts:

janey68 · 02/04/2013 15:09

Original poster

Suzietwo · 02/04/2013 15:12

well good luck to yoU!

i came on here as i genuinely coulndt understnad why some poarents who didnt worked were in arms about a change which had fvck all to do with them

the replies have given me an answer and more importantly, an explanation!

think ill just google it next time

OP posts:

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