Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to want DH to take him with me on a work trip abroad?

50 replies

ButteryJam · 28/03/2013 22:45

DH is going on a 10 day work trip to the Middle East when I'll be 34 weeks. I'm happy for him to go but would really like to go with him! He'll be staying at a lush hotel and as I'm on maternity leave then, I could just rest, go to the spa, go shopping and just enjoy myself :)

DH is not keen due to a) he thinks ill be in the way (I'm very very independent so I won't be in the way) b) say I go into labour there (well at least he'll be there then!). I also think secretly he thinks its awkward as his other colleagues will be with him and they tend to go out together for dinner every evening etc. and also he has never ever heard of anyone else dragging their spouse with them (but we are in an exceptional situation Smile).

Anyhow so AIBU or is he?

OP posts:
grabaspoon · 28/03/2013 22:47

YABU

Are you seriously considering flying at 34 weeks to go to a spa and shopping when you could do this at home?

Original poster
ButteryJam · 28/03/2013 22:47

Sorry title is wrong, should read 'take me with him'. Mumsnet iPhone app really needs updating!

OP posts:
ripsishere · 28/03/2013 22:47

YABVVVVU. If you do go into labour there, it'll be a very different experience to the NHS. you'll also have the passport and registering child issue. i've done it, although mine was planned.
Also, his collegues would possibly laugh at you and him.
Work is work, holidays are holidays. Don't confuse the two.

QuintEggSensuality · 28/03/2013 22:48

Yabu to want to spend 10 days in the Middle East as a LONE pregnant woman.

LaurieFairyCake · 28/03/2013 22:48

Would you even get a certificate to fly?

Original poster
ButteryJam · 28/03/2013 22:49

grabaspoon, thanks, yes I wouldn't mind flying out at 34 weeks if my GP is ok with it.

OP posts:
Hassled · 28/03/2013 22:49

I don't think you can fly past 28 weeks, can you?

Sirzy · 28/03/2013 22:49

So you would be nearly 36 weeks pregnant by the time your coming back?

You would be mad to go, book a spa day near home!

annh · 28/03/2013 22:51

YABU - and deluded! At 34 weeks, you may not even get permission from the airline to fly long haul. Your situation is not "exceptional", I'm sure your dh's colleagues' wives have also had babies, maybe some of them are even pregnant now.

YellowandGreenandRedandBlue · 28/03/2013 22:51

I don't think the airline will carry you anyway.

Original poster
ButteryJam · 28/03/2013 22:51

Thanks all! You've knocked some sense into me Grin

OP posts:
TheBigJessie · 28/03/2013 22:54

YABU. I went into labour at 34 weeks! Grin Granted, I have twins, but everyone was confident I would go to 37 weeks (when I would have been induced) as I had scan that said there was less than a one per cent chance I would go into labour before 33 weeks. Obviously, scan was dead right!

Whoknowswhocares · 28/03/2013 22:55

Yabu. On so, so many levels.

1.He is right. You WILL be in the way. It is a work trip. For workers. It would be weird and inappropriate even if you weren't pregnant
2.a long haul flight at that stage of pregnancy? You won't even get travel insurance! Or be allowed on the damn plane.
3.you seriously think going into labour in a foreign country while on a jolly with your OH's work is a sensible option? For the chance of a spa and shopping? Come on, really?
Or is this some sort of joke?

Whoknowswhocares · 28/03/2013 22:55

Sorry cross posted!

willyoulistentome · 28/03/2013 22:57

Even if you weren't pregnant, cant see why you would wsnt to go with him on a work trip, especially to the middle east. Work trips are HARD. I've been on loads of them. I would feel awkward if my dh came along for evening meals with colleagues. Evenings are when I could debrief and talk about how the work was going. I would feel my colleagues would be a bit annoyed if I was treating it like a holiday.

SummerFin · 28/03/2013 22:58

yes I wouldn't mind flying out at 34 weeks if my GP is ok with it

It's not just ok if the GP says it is.

Airlines have their own restrictions, some are more lenient than others.

What a ridiculous and stupid idea regardless.

Original poster
ButteryJam · 28/03/2013 22:59

*Thanks everyone! Smile

As I said earlier you've all been really helpful, and knocked some sense into me and I realise IABU. Can this thread be closed now? Thanks. *

OP posts:
GreenEggsAndNichts · 28/03/2013 23:02

hah. I understand why you'd want to. I went with DH to Korea when he went for a conference, and I was pregnant. However, I was probably only at the end of my first trimester. At 34 weeks you'll just want the baby out, and as others have mentioned, it's very unlikely any airline would carry you anyway.

Definitely book yourself something special to do while he's gone. :)

Christelle2207 · 28/03/2013 23:04

extra comment -if airline alllowed you to fly-some ok with letter to 35 wks- you would still struggle to get insurance.

Original poster
ButteryJam · 28/03/2013 23:05

GreenEggs, thank you, I will do and thanks for understanding :)

My 1st post in this section and it can be a little daunting. Hope people will just back off now, I've admitted that IABU.

OP posts:
SummerFin · 28/03/2013 23:05

Can this thread be closed now? Thanks

You asked for opinions and you got them. You purely want this thread to be closed because people don't agree with you.

Why would you even want to go - pregnant or not? Odd.

Original poster
ButteryJam · 28/03/2013 23:08

SunmerFin, you are mistaken and there's no need to be rude and jump to conclusions! I want this thread closed because I don't want others wasting their time telling me IABU when I have now realised thanks to all the above posters that IABU. Simple as.

OP posts:
GreenEggsAndNichts · 28/03/2013 23:08

hah sorry I must've had the response window open longer than I thought, I xposted with your post above mine. I'm tired and slow. :)

Whoknowswhocares · 28/03/2013 23:09

ButteryJam
Don't feel daunted. Many people will continue to post their own thoughts and experiences after a thread has reached a resolution but that doesn't mean they are getting at you specifically.
More that it becomes a general discussion, which some were late to the party on Wink

squeakytoy · 28/03/2013 23:09

Waits for Ops next thread.

"Is my dh being unreasonable to go on a work trip when I am 34 weeks pregnant"

Wink
Swipe left for the next trending thread